hadriel | three ❀ video

[It looks like Adam has taken one of the mopeds to pieces. There are engine bits carefully arranged around him, his hands still have traces of grease on them, and there are tools nearby. He generally doesn't use the network much, but - this seemed relevant.]

I guess these are the vehicles we were promised. They seem all right - probably won't go more than 25, but it's not like there's a real need for speed here. They run pretty well, though they're electric, so they'll need charging. And they're not too complicated, so if something breaks it should be easy to fix - I'd be fine showing anyone who wants to learn.

[He pauses for a moment, shrugs.]

Or doing it for you, I guess. But there's some... weird stuff.

[Adam picks up the carburetor, unscrews part of the covering, and pulls it off. Rather than what would be expected to be inside - normal moped parts, necessary to running it - out pops a spring-loaded, fake-looking snake, like something you'd hide in a can for a shitty prank.

Expecting this, Adam does not seem surprised, only vaguely tired and maybe a tiny bit amused.]

All the ones I looked at have something like this. They run fine, though.

[And, totally deadpan, as a service to those who might be unfamiliar with this kind of thing:]

They really shouldn't.

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I wish I could rate it higher, but I've been here too long. I'd give it a three, maybe.

At least it works, right?

[connor shrugs, it's better than nothing and that's a thing he too has come to accept. which is a pretty sad state of affairs, he's aware.]

Who knew snake-in-a-can could be a source of power.

Better than having to walk everywhere all the time.

[He'll just hope this doesn't end up screwing them over, like so many things do.]

The gods seem to have the same sense of humor as everyone's weird great-uncle.

Are you sure that's it?

[he makes an ehhhh noise kind of like a dying cat]

I'm kind of here for the "they tried so hard and got so far but in the end it doesn't even matter" theory.

Right, the Linkin Park theory. That one's pretty popular around here.

[He's not sure there isn't necessarily something more sinister going on, but Adam is an inherently distrustful person.]

Maybe they just have no idea how any of this works. I wouldn't be surprised.

Nice. Look at that - we already have something in common.

[terrible music from days of yore]

I get the sense they don't. They seem well meaning or whatever, but more often than not that makes it worse.

That and being stuck in a miserable hellcave. But I guess those two things aren't that different.

[Not really a Linkin Park fan. But who is?]

They're like especially powerful five-year-olds, messing around with stuff to see what will happen.

Okay, but that's like being "well we all live on Earth, something in commmon!" You have to look for better commonalities when the whole group has that one thing going for them.

[no one is seriously a linkin park fan. at least connor hopes they aren't.]

Yeah pretty much. People really want to hate them but I don't know that seems undue, almost.

A lot of us have strange powers, and most of us are attractive. Better?

[Look... that's just one of those things you notice. Maybe the Door has a preference for anyone easy on the eyes?]

I think you're right, though. Most of the time they seem as clueless as us, even with everything they do here. I don't have sympathy for them, exactly, but hating them doesn't seem worthwhile.

Maybe the gods are petty and asked the door for that specifically.

[all the gods are hot too right??]

That theory would make as much sense as anything else here. Snakes in mopeds, gods who mysteriously look human... why not?

Gods who are both mysteriously human and also hot. An important part of this hypothesis.

That's the disturbing part. They obviously don't think of us as equal to them, so romance and sexual attraction wouldn't mean anything. So the only real reason to take such attractive forms is if they think we're more likely to listen to them because of it.

I don't think it's working out the way they planned.

No, probably not. They have an uphill battle if they expect any kind of trust.

Pretty sure most of them lost the option for that when they brought us here.

[although, he's not really entirely on the hate the gods train. he just knows what public opinion is.]

Not very many people actually want to be kidnapped and trapped in a cave. What a surprise.

Incredible, I know.

It's livable, at least. More or less.

Guess so, yeah.

[ah yes his least favorite topic: is cavehell better or worse than home. because he never can quite decide where he stands and that is Upsetting]

Aside from the monsters that what to eat you.

I tend to avoid the caves for that reason - at the colosseum at the wrong time of month. Better to leave that to the people with guns and superpowers.

I take it you don't have either.

[thank god for normal ppl tbh]

Not the kind that would help me fight monsters.

Ah.

[or not normal.]

I'm sure you have skills that aren't particularly useful here either.

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