Voice || End of his Tether

[notjustinthemirror]

Alright. I fucking give up. Who the hell did I piss off this time?

I've impaled myself on my own mannequins, lit myself on fire, knocked a building down on my head, and I don't even want to know what the fuck I just teleported into, but it smells like something crawled up an asshole and died there.

[There's a loud crash and some scrabbling noises.]

And I almost got decapitated by a window.

What the fuck?

Comments

voice;

[cashlin]

[And that would be the sweet, sweet sound of slow clapping.]

[notjustinthemirror]

Yeah fuck you too.

[cashlin]

Sounds like you're having a great day over there. Maybe you should just go sit somewhere, um... padded.

[notjustinthemirror]

I'm gonna lay in the middle of the street out of range of lightpoles falling on me.

This is bullshit.

[cashlin]

Maybe it's those shadow ghost things in the coliseum. Right after one of them touched me, I ran out of ammo with three monsters on my ass, then fell down some stairs and landed on my ass. Neither of those are things that'd normally happen to me, ever.

[notjustinthemirror]

Maybe I shouldn't have tried to choke one of those things.

Wait, are you saying I'm being haunted?

[Oh that is rich. That is the funniest thing he's heard in forever.]

[cashlin]

Makes two of us. I tried to shoot one.

Maybe. Or, I dunno, hexed or something, since I haven't seen 'em around since.

[notjustinthemirror]

Guess we have only ourselves to blame when we're trying to kill shadow creatures.

[cashlin]

Okay, but why wouldn't I kill a mysterious shadow creature? Especially here? It was coming at me.

It's not our faults. They wanted us to do that, obviously. [Obviously.]

[notjustinthemirror]

A conspiracy?

I'll buy it. And I didn't even get the satisfaction of killing the fucker.

[cashlin]

Lemme be real with you. If we're here mostly to feel shit for the sake of these gods, why wouldn't they want to make us miserable? Think about it.

[notjustinthemirror]

Hope. Fear. Rage.

I'm not really feeling any of those right now. Unless there's suddenly a god of What the Fuck.

[cashlin]

What the Fuck is kind of an emotion. To be fair.

[notjustinthemirror]

True.

I'd like for more "well this worked out fine," or maybe even "that's nice and pleasant." But I guess those gods are still dead.

[cashlin]

Does this mean we're recharging them? Like batteries or something? Or are the really dead ones just... You know. [pbblllt noise.]

[notjustinthemirror]

Pretty sure that's how it works.

We resurrected Rage somehow. If I paid more attention to Hope I'd know how that worked, but I don't.

Of course as soon as we brought her back everyone attacked each other and shit went to hell. So that worked out splendidly for all involved.

[cashlin]

[Well, that makes about as much sense as anything else she's had to deal with in the last several months.]

When do we get to resurrect a god who doesn't try to kill us?

[notjustinthemirror]

Probably never.

The next ones will be gods of existential angst and exsanguination.

[cashlin]

[and there's a drawn out UUUUUUUGGGGGGGH.]

I hate that you sound half serious and I don't doubt it.

[notjustinthemirror]

I'm almost always right and sometimes I hate it.

[cashlin]

For everybody's sake, let's hope you're wrong this time.

[notjustinthemirror]

We'll see.

But if you start bleeding to death from the god of exsanguination I hope I'm around to tell you 'I told you so.'

[cashlin]

Technically, exsanguination isn't a real emotion. But we'll see.

[notjustinthemirror]

Hey it covers a whole slew of emotions: Pain, Sadness, Suffering, Regret, Disbelief, and pretty sure all that red stuff is supposed to be inside me.

[cashlin]

Kind of a mouthful, but I'll take it, I guess.