Voice || End of his Tether

[notjustinthemirror]

Alright. I fucking give up. Who the hell did I piss off this time?

I've impaled myself on my own mannequins, lit myself on fire, knocked a building down on my head, and I don't even want to know what the fuck I just teleported into, but it smells like something crawled up an asshole and died there.

[There's a loud crash and some scrabbling noises.]

And I almost got decapitated by a window.

What the fuck?

Comments

voice.

[hopecanruinyou]

Oh good, I'm not the only one being really really clumsy right now.

[thom's sounding sort of tired and exasperated about the whole thing, honestly.]

voice

[quaerit]

[ Jesus Christ, that's an incredible run of bad luck. More importantly, though: ]

I'm sorry, did you just say you'd been impaled? With what, for Christ's sake? Do you need a doctor?

[ Where would he even find one? He can't believe this has all just been cited like a list of minor complaints. ]

video

[casperdisaster]

Could you stop almost dying?

voice;

[cashlin]

[And that would be the sweet, sweet sound of slow clapping.]

[notjustinthemirror]

Yeah fuck you too.

[notjustinthemirror]

It's not like I'm trying to!

I think this place is pissed that I tried to set Rage's temple on fire.

[notjustinthemirror]

Is it everyone? I'm waiting for people to start falling out of windows onto me.

[cashlin]

Sounds like you're having a great day over there. Maybe you should just go sit somewhere, um... padded.

[notjustinthemirror]

I'm gonna lay in the middle of the street out of range of lightpoles falling on me.

This is bullshit.

[notjustinthemirror]

With a metal pole.

No, I'm fine. Do we even have a doctor here?

[casperdisaster]

[Noah opens his mouth and closes it again, then facepalms.]

Yeah. That. You don't think that would have lead to something like this?

[notjustinthemirror]

I more expected she'd show up and shoot me in the face.

Not make buildings fall on me and mini earthquakes cause me to trip and fall down stairs.

[casperdisaster]

Maybe she's just not that into you.

[cashlin]

Maybe it's those shadow ghost things in the coliseum. Right after one of them touched me, I ran out of ammo with three monsters on my ass, then fell down some stairs and landed on my ass. Neither of those are things that'd normally happen to me, ever.

[quaerit]

I've only just gotten here, I'm not exactly up on everyone's professions.

[ That probably means no. ]

But you can't just be fine if you've been impaled by a metal pole! Not to mention all the rest that's happened to you since. How are you still walking around?!

[hopecanruinyou]

Well I don't know about everyone, but I know I have. Pretty sure I ran into a guy earlier that was having the same kind of problem too because he didn't seem surprised at all by the whole falling over nothing thing.

[had wanted to refer to the whole thing as a meet cute even, which was weird.]

Your bad luck sounds a little more... extreme than mine though. You said you got impaled? Are you okay?

[notjustinthemirror]

I knew a bouquet of still beating hearts was too much for the first date.

[notjustinthemirror]

I'm fine in the sense that I'm still upright and talking. Not so much in the fact that there's a nice new hole in my chest. I'm being aerated for freshness.

If I had blood to lose I'm sure I'd be dead. But I don't. And here we are.

[notjustinthemirror]

Maybe I shouldn't have tried to choke one of those things.

Wait, are you saying I'm being haunted?

[Oh that is rich. That is the funniest thing he's heard in forever.]

[notjustinthemirror]

Yeah. It sounds a lot more dramatic than it is.

Actually no, it is pretty dramatic I have a hole in my fucking chest now. I need a new shirt.

[cashlin]

Makes two of us. I tried to shoot one.

Maybe. Or, I dunno, hexed or something, since I haven't seen 'em around since.

[notjustinthemirror]

Guess we have only ourselves to blame when we're trying to kill shadow creatures.

[cashlin]

Okay, but why wouldn't I kill a mysterious shadow creature? Especially here? It was coming at me.

It's not our faults. They wanted us to do that, obviously. [Obviously.]

[notjustinthemirror]

A conspiracy?

I'll buy it. And I didn't even get the satisfaction of killing the fucker.

[cashlin]

Lemme be real with you. If we're here mostly to feel shit for the sake of these gods, why wouldn't they want to make us miserable? Think about it.