hadriel | [Video]

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[Meditation is essential to communing with the Force, no matter how chaotic and crippled it feels in the cave. He is sitting in a ruin of a building, perched on what used to be a wall, legs crossed.]

We are all protected here. More than you think. [Against futures they do not want to face.] My visions haven't changed. It might be impossible to rectify anything.

[How cruel to stand on the precipice, see the monsters within and have no weapon; no defense.

"Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster... for when you gaze long into the abyss. The abyss gazes also into you."]

I think it's time I bite the bullet and accept -

[Oh boy. He chuckles shakily.]

It was a nice dream.

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Right.

One facet.

Not the larger reality.

Then can you live in the smaller truth, rather than the larger?

Is that the healthier approach? I'm not a coward.

You will have to face the larger eventually. But not here, after all. So why torment yourself?

You act like it's easy to avoid. I have visions... I can't turn them off.

It's never wise to hide from vision. Our cousin Artanis had them - all the Arafinweans did, I think.

But you can let the wave wash over you and let it go. What you try to avoid it might only rush you headlong down the path. Tis best to prepare as you may and let things come.

[Prepare for...her death. He can't even imagine never seeing her again; never touching her hair or feeling her skin against his lips.

And what becomes of their twins? They must survive, but who takes them away? They are not with him.]

Fathers should be looking forward to seeing their babies; not planning their wife's funeral. And then...

There's the future. I can feel myself in a suit. It breathes for me; it's so heavy.

They should, and yet... the realities of life, of war, mean that is not always so. What can you do for them, if you cannot be there? You can leave them messages, gifts. Things to speed them on their way.

[ How often did he plan the same? The missives to his best riders, to tell his brothers that the plains had fallen, the orders to his commanders, to pull his people out if he could not give them himself, the gifts for the twins to carry away with them to safety, both the tangible and the not ]

A very wise Hobbit once said 'Where there's life there's hope', although he'd add pratically, 'and need of vittles', but he has a point. We cannot see all the way to the end - do not loose hope! You do not know what comes after.

They are taken from me, Maglor. [His voice is hard, cold.] I don't know who takes my twins after Padmé's death. But I lose everyone in one night. I don't think letters and gifts are going to make that better.

[A crack appears in the wall beneath him, stirring up dust.]

I am trapped in a suit that sustains my life. Padmé is gone. My twins are out of my reach. That is what happens after.

Don't you? [ Maglor points out gently ] Who would, Anakin? Think logically. If you become what you fear, then someone must take them to protect them. You can always leave things with them. Or, failing that... well. I know... I had fosterlings, once. We never denied them knowledge of their true family. But even if we had, they would have sought for it. If you leave something for them... they will find it. They will want to know you, when they are old enough. Even if it is only to understand 'why'.

[ His eyes are kind, but implacable ] But you don't know what happens after that, do you? No one sees the end. Your lady is gone from you, but your children are not. Who can tell where the road will lead, in the end? They might come and find you. If they do, you must be ready. The suit may be forever or it might be only a season. Despair is only for those who can see the end.

...Obi-Wan. Maybe Master Yoda. [Foes he thought he could overcome, but apparently they are crafty.] I don't think either of them would want to give the twins anything from me. If they want to keep them from me, I'm not sure they'll even be told of me.

[Which...hurts. He'd rather be stabbed.]

What if I don't recognize them when they come to find me? [If.] I can't feel my arms in it...or my legs...

[There is a quiet horror in his voice.]

Tell me how my story could have a good ending.

Then you leave them something to find. [ Maglor says matter-of-factly ] Believe me, they will look. All secrets come to light, in time. And children are curious, adults without roots, just as bad but with more resources.

I think you will. Maybe not immediately, but... family knows.

[ Gently ]

I don't know. I am not Galadriel or Finrod, to see what may come. But I will tell you what Finrod the Faithful once said, who walked knowing to a terrible death for friendship and an oath of loyalty. That if we are indeed the Eruhin, the Children of the One, then He will not suffer any to deprive us of our ultimate joy, for what Father would? I don't know how your story ends, and I cannot see a happy ending. But I cannot see a terrible one, either, unless you deny yourself the joy.

It is a terrible burden, to know your fate. But a privilege few get, all the same, for you can make preparations, now, as best you can. If it cannot be avoided, then you had best do what you can to mitigate the damage. Would that we had done the same! But we did not see.

I have nothing but... The man who married my mother and freed her from slavery has a son and a daughter-in-law. Obi-Wan knows of them. If he left the twins there, they might hear about me. They might even find the droid I built.

[But he doesn't expect his once Master to trust anyone who isn't highly trained.]

I won't stop looking for them. [It's not a lot - and it seems overbearing - but it is something.]

I do not understand doing nothing when a vision is so clear. Your people seem to be endowed with endless patience. I'm not like that and I cannot accept someone's death as a given.

[He clenches his teeth.] My Master knows how I can save her. I need to get the information from him - and fast.

Not right now, but there, that's a good thing, if you still have family. You can record them messages - we used to leave marks on rocks, so that those passing through could see if the way was clear, and so on. A letter, might explain much. Things left hidden, so that only those who sought them would find them.

[ A quiet little smile ]

That is the father in you speaking. But think carefully about that statement now! Are you sure you want to find them? When Celebrimbor left we cut all ties, to save him. We kept abreast of news, but we had no contact - it was safer, that way.

[ A sad huff ]

It isn't doing nothing. [ He corrects ] It is doing what can be done, and not worrying about what cannot. Dreams are only dreams. What will come, will come. The more you worry at it, the worse you will feel, and quite possibly you will bring about the very thing you are trying to avoid!

[ He shakes his head ]

Think carefully about that. [ He warns ] Why would he tell you, when he can use it to manipulate you? Anything he says, Anakin, you must perforce doubt, as he is in a position of power over you. He might tell you something, and you might kill her, or you might save her, but only so long as you keep doing what he tells you... and so on. It has been a long time since I actively fought Sauron, but I know the feel of such manipulation well.

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