oo1; video; during the furniture monsoon

[ritualized]

[She knows—because how could she not?—that all of these things are just more wayward debris brought in by accident or design. The timing’s a little different, but the geometries of the furniture that keeps showing up must mean that it, like everything else, is coming through from somewhere else. She knows; she knows. But it would be so unfair to treat this as if it were as terrible as everything else that’s happened to her so far. Why not choose to be pleased, just once?

Irisviel is filming herself from inside the apartment she shares with Saber. She looks pleased as punch.]

Look what I found! [Her voice is filled with pride. A dramatic pan down of the camera reveals… a papasan-shaped chair made entirely of interlocking metal hands. Just hands. There are at least 13 hands here. Irisviel ducks back into the frame, beaming.]

It’s fascinating, isn’t it? I’ve never seen anything like it, even in the catalogs I used to look through! Ah, but getting it was a little different than ordering from a catalog, though.

There’s this, too! [The camera snaps back down to what is probably a tea table. It’s short enough and rectangular enough. It’s going to do a very good job holding tea, though: There are large pockmarks in the top surface, and the entire thing tilts to the left at a forty-five degree angle.] I think this is what’s called ‘true modern design!”

[After clapping a hand to her cheek and sighing dreamily, she continues.] I know the tone of this video is a little different, isn’t it? I haven’t forgotten what’s happening; I just thought, for a moment, something good might have come from it.

These things may not be able to stay forever...but I would like to see what you’ve found! And please tell me if you have any ideas for how to use this [the camera goes back to the “tea” “table”] or how to get the rest into the apartment!

[Wait, the rest?]

Comments

[hotspurred]

Who envisioned the touch of numerous metal hands a comfortable seat?

[He scoffs, before he subtly nods at Saber and makes the hand gesture he'd use on troops for engage, then taps himself and makes the gesture for retreat with his other. It's an offered plan, which in context is meant to mean: you distract Irisviel, I remove the offending furnishings?]

[sheathes]

Someone with no sense of practicality. I fear for the mind of the craftsman.

[ She gives him the slightest return nod possible. She'll try. ]

We can only hope this issue does not become widespread. The furniture in this city is strange enough as it is.

[hotspurred]

Indeed.

[Then it's settled. He'll wait for her cue.]

Surely... those... cannot be a glimpse of the future?

[sheathes]

S... surely not! Such a devilish future is unthinkable!

We must do all we can to prevent this from occurring, Sir Henry.

[hotspurred]

It occurs to me, Sir Saber, that I am in need of your assistance. I fear that my skill with a poleaxe rusts for want of a sparring partner versed in its art.

[And if any furniture should happen to be smashed with the hammer, cut down with the axe or pierced by its top spike in the crossfire... it's important to spar at full intensity if one wishes to maintain mastery of any weapon. Right?]

[sheathes]

[ She could kiss you, Henry. ]

Of course. I would be honoured to join you. [ It's going to turn from 'sparring' to 'smash the thing' very quickly, isn't it. ] With the city in this state, it is as if the battlefield has changed yet again. We must be careful to avoid... excessive destruction.

[hotspurred]

[Absolutely.]

As you say.

[He replies, with a wolfish grin.]

after the threads w/ irisiviel... this post is a mess

[sheathes]

[ SMILES PAINFULLY

SHAKES HER HEAD, MOUTHS "NO" ]

it's truly... something

[hotspurred]

[Henry momentarily frowns, before he gives Saber a sombre nod... then straight up crosses himself.

GOD SAVE THE KING.]

[ritualized]

[I CAN SEE YOU]

[hotspurred]

[This definitely isn't the first time that he's made trouble. But he will never regret having standards in furnishings.

On the other hand, he ought to take responsibility and prevent Saber from being banished to the sofa before she's even found the bed.]

For the sake of naught but your joy, Saber will suffer such eyesores in her abode. [Henry remarks, confident and perhaps a tad too honest.] I commend the loyalty that you command in your knight.

[sheathes]

[ LONG-SUFFERING SIGH ]

It is more than loyalty alone that leads me to this. [ ... She means friendship but it just sounds really gay. ]

[hotspurred]

[HE KNEW THAT THERE WAS COURTLY LOVE BETWEEN THEM.]

So you confess it?

[Though in general, love to him does cover friendship.]

[sheathes]

To friendship? Of course. I have never denied such a thing exists between us.

[ Just dense, or deliberately avoiding the question? ]

[hotspurred]

[King Arthur or not, Henry gives Saber a look which suggests he thinks her unduly stubborn.

But this is over the network, so out of respect he is forced to relent.]

And none would doubt its truth.

[ritualized]

[She looks startled at the explanation.]

Does she really hate them that much? [Does Henry? Irisviel can be obstinate about things she likes, she knows (driving fast, shopping, fashion...), but she never would have guessed that the furniture would be the source of such true vitriol.]

[hotspurred]

Regardless of how dreadful she might think them, Saber will find much more contentment in your pleasure than in furniture that suits her tastes. She has made that evident.

[Also, upsetting Irisviel is surprisingly difficult to bear.

Henry sighs.]

'Tis your home as well.