[Text] (With Pictures!)

[aroundthecoroner]

So it's day 2 of Ikea madness,
and I figured we should set up some kind of cragslist situation,
so that people can get rid of things they really don't want.
Or if you for some reason feel like filling your house with this stuff
follow your dreams?

Anyway I found this yesterday:

[Attached is a photo of a very odd table, the front half of it, anyway. It's sticking out of an apartment wall at an odd angle, legs mostly horizontal. There's a second photo of the back half, which appears to be in another room.

A jacket is hanging off of one of the hooves. Looks like someone has found a use for it, at least.]

If anyone knows how to get this out of the wall
without like, destroying said wall
they're welcome to it.
But to be honest I'm kind of getting used to it.
Might call it "Dave".
This I'm not too keen on:

[Another image, this one of a kind of unsettling chair.]

Frankly you can just have it.
Please.

[Everyone is welcome to post their new furniture they don't want, or offers to acquire more. Michael is not going to moderate, but it's a platform at least!]

Comments

[text]

[tongueamok]

It was a nice table.

[Of of the other pieces, not so much, but that table was okay in his book.]

[text]

[aroundthecoroner]

Oh.

[O o p s.]

Sorry for insulting your uncles' very cool table???

[text]

[tongueamok]

Thank you.

[He's apparently taking that apology very seriously. It was a very nice table.]

If no one else would like that table and you decide not to keep it, I will take it.

[text]

[aroundthecoroner]

Sure thing.
Just have to
figure out how to get it out of the wall.
At least it makes a handy coat rack?
I'm just a little bit worried it might start moving.

[Not because it's dead. He could care less about being in the presence of the dead. It's mostly because it came from this place. Or from another place, making it even less trustworthy.]

Any chance you'd want the chair, though?

[text]

[tongueamok]

Absolutely not.

[A deer table, he can handle; a spidery chair is too much, obviously.]

Why do you fear the table will start moving? Is it still alive in any way? Or enchanted?

[text]

[aroundthecoroner]

Well no.
I'm pretty sure it's stuffed.
Or... tabled?
You know what I mean.
Just that people keep telling me not to trust things here.
How do you tell if something is enchanted?

[The Visitor doesn't care about the table whatsoever, so it's probably fine.]

[tongueamok]

Are you a caster of any sort?

[aroundthecoroner]

[Wat.]

Uh...
Gonna go with no?
Do you mean like
magic?
I don't do any of that.

[tongueamok]

Well, unless it springs to life or something unexpected happens when you place your hands upon it, it'd be difficult for you to tell if it was enchanted.

[aroundthecoroner]

[Michael sends along a picture of his hand on the "butt" end of the table.]

Nothing happened.
Does that mean it's safe?

[tongueamok]

Presumably. It is possible for enchantments to have more obscure triggers, so that might not be the end of it.

[aroundthecoroner]

[Oh my god did he just-]

I'll keep that in mind. Wouldn't want to be the butt of any supernatural pranks.

[tongueamok]

[Oh no.]

Well, now that you've been warned of the perils of enchanted furniture, you'll have a leg up on everyone else in town, won't you?

[aroundthecoroner]

[Oh yes.]

Yeah, I definitely won't get left behind.

[tongueamok]

Of course not. Should the table turn out to have a vicious enchantment, however, you will have quite a tail to tell.

[aroundthecoroner]

I guess maybe it would behoove me to learn more about dealing with enchantments.

[tongueamok]

That would put you in a suprearior position for dealing with them.

[aroundthecoroner]

Now I feel like we're just scraping the Bottom of the barrel.

[tongueamok]

Deer me, I suppose we are.

[This just in: no one ever talk to Carlisle again, or this could happen to you.]

I was serious about acquiring that table should no one else show interest in it, though.

[aroundthecoroner]

[A warning Michael is not likely to heed, but the topic change at least breaks the cycle- for now.]

Oh, yeah, sure.
I bet we could find one of these magic types to like
teleport it out of the wall maybe.
That or we could cut it in half and glue it back together.

[tongueamok]

Where is it? I could see about stoneshaping around it, but it'd probably be more practical to just break and mend it. Assuming it's organic material and not some fabrication of the gods, it should take well to such a task.

[aroundthecoroner]

It's in the wall
Between the living room and one of the bedrooms in my apartment.
It's not too tall to reach, at least.
I think these walls are made of stone?
So whatever stoneshaping is
which I guess it sounds pretty self-explanatory
it should work in theory.

[tongueamok]

Perhaps it would just be easiest for me to come take a look.

[And for anyone who knows Carlisle who might read that, they surely know that he must really want this table. Carlisle doesn't exactly make visits on a whim.]

If that would be all right?

[aroundthecoroner]

[Michael does not know Carlisle very well, but he's definitely glad someone is willing to help out with the weird furniture situation. Maybe he can somehow convince him to take the scary chair, too.]

Yeah, sure.
I'm on the fifth floor of
one of these tower things.
Hold on.

[He's not sure how else to differentiate it, so he points the phone outside to take a weird lopsided picture of the building he's in. If Carlisle can recognize it from the ground around it and part of its base, it's spire 4.

Surely it's safe to just invite strangers over.]

[text] → [action]

[tongueamok]

[Oh hey, it's Spire 4. The only reason Carlisle knows that is he used to live on the top floor there, right next door to Kate. What a lifetime ago, it seems!]

I know which tower that is and will be over shortly.

[And he is within the hour, which is absolutely record time for him. He straightens his tabard and the satchel over his shoulder before he knocks on the door, hoping it's the correct apartment. His knock is fast, eager -- he really, really wants that table.]