hadriel | [Text] (With Pictures!)

So it's day 2 of Ikea madness,
and I figured we should set up some kind of cragslist situation,
so that people can get rid of things they really don't want.
Or if you for some reason feel like filling your house with this stuff
follow your dreams?

Anyway I found this yesterday:

[Attached is a photo of a very odd table, the front half of it, anyway. It's sticking out of an apartment wall at an odd angle, legs mostly horizontal. There's a second photo of the back half, which appears to be in another room.

A jacket is hanging off of one of the hooves. Looks like someone has found a use for it, at least.]

If anyone knows how to get this out of the wall
without like, destroying said wall
they're welcome to it.
But to be honest I'm kind of getting used to it.
Might call it "Dave".
This I'm not too keen on:

[Another image, this one of a kind of unsettling chair.]

Frankly you can just have it.
Please.

[Everyone is welcome to post their new furniture they don't want, or offers to acquire more. Michael is not going to moderate, but it's a platform at least!]

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We got a new couch.
Would be kinda cute if it didn't moo loudly every time you sat on it.
Or smell like beef.

That table looks a bit like something I had back home.

[It's not it, but it has the same kind of "definitely made by a guy who knows jack all about interior design" charm.]

You
had a taxidermy deer?

[And he thought his hobbies were weir- nevermind he still has absolutely no room to judge.]

My uncles were hunters of many a great beast. They liked the hooves.

[Particularly in decorating, apparently.]

Well, um, I did find this

[Delmar shyly holds up this odd toy-lamp fusion]

It...It's not so bad compared to the others you people are sharing.

[In fact he almost finds it cute except for the fact that it looks like it had been decapitated]

[Michael has absolutely nothing to say to that, but he's kind of glad Rose can't see him laughing over text. Suddenly deer-table doesn't seem nearly as bad.]

Wow that's
good luck with that one.
Does it at least smell like cooked beef?

I thought people usually hunted deer for the antlers?
But to be honest I don't know anything about it.

[He has never hunted ~~animals~~ in his life.]

I'm sorry you had to grow up with awful furniture.

Oh
that's
That's creepy, sorry.
I hope someone takes it off your hands.

[Because HE SURE DOESN'T WANT IT.]

[ She lives to please. ]

i mean
it's an improvement from the other couch, which was in taters from the great prank war apparently

and surprisingly, yes
very hamburgery

It was a nice table.

[Of of the other pieces, not so much, but that table was okay in his book.]

[Delmar was afraid of that.]

I wish it had either been just a lamp or just a teddy bear. I feel sorry for the poor thing.

[He suddenly realizes that probably sounded stupid]

...Oh. Sorry. I shouldn't say dumb things.

Oh.

[O o p s.]

Sorry for insulting your uncles' very cool table???

Thank you.

[He's apparently taking that apology very seriously. It was a very nice table.]

If no one else would like that table and you decide not to keep it, I will take it.

Great prank war?
And that would sound nice except I'd probably be hungry all the time.

[He actually misses hamburgers already. :(]

It's okay.
I think I know what you mean.

[And besides, he says dumb things all the time!]

Sure thing.
Just have to
figure out how to get it out of the wall.
At least it makes a handy coat rack?
I'm just a little bit worried it might start moving.

[Not because it's dead. He could care less about being in the presence of the dead. It's mostly because it came from this place. Or from another place, making it even less trustworthy.]

Any chance you'd want the chair, though?

Absolutely not.

[A deer table, he can handle; a spidery chair is too much, obviously.]

Why do you fear the table will start moving? Is it still alive in any way? Or enchanted?

[He seems somewhat encouraged by that]

Perhaps I shall save it. You never know, perhaps someone here knows how to sow and can give him a proper head.

My roommate apparently had a prank war with some roomies before me.
The couch was the proof of how crazy shit got.
Gonna' have to step up my pranking game if I'm gonna stay, probably.

[ Does Rose know a thing or two about being hungry all the time. Haha. Ha. ...Ha. It's be funny if it wasn't so horribly sad. ]

yeah it'll get old pretty fast i'm sure
but for now i'm enjoying the new hamburger smell of our house

Well no.
I'm pretty sure it's stuffed.
Or... tabled?
You know what I mean.
Just that people keep telling me not to trust things here.
How do you tell if something is enchanted?

[The Visitor doesn't care about the table whatsoever, so it's probably fine.]

[Good for you, Delmar. That's the spirit.]

Yeah, hopefully.
Maybe you can ask for that instead of something in trade for it?
People do that here right?
A barter system?

Are you a caster of any sort?

[Wat.]

Uh...
Gonna go with no?
Do you mean like
magic?
I don't do any of that.

Looking on the bright side.
I like it.

[Maybe he should give it a shot sometime.]

I guess you could potentially use the new couch for pranks.
Just don't tell your roommates it moos.

I do not understand why anyone would want such a thing. [ Actually: ] Any... of these things. There is no practical use to speak of.

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