hadriel | issue #5

[She's put this off for like a week, thinking it was best to not incite anger, or to bring attention to herself, but it just keeps coming back to bother her. Ellie can't let it go.

The sweater she's sporting perhaps isn't the best thing to be taken seriously in (thanks, evil trees laden with fun shirts!) but anyone who knows Ellie will recognise that fire in her eyes. She's dead serious.]

You know, you can direct all the righteous anger you want to at the gods, and that's fucking fine, I get it even, but have you considered that spending less time arguing with them and more time working towards solutions to all this shit is probably a good idea? Fuck.

It seems like some of you are just totally fine with them dying, and I- you- [Maybe she should have planned this out better. Distress seeps into her voice, and she chokes up a little, but presses on.] I mean, don't you get it? There are people here who aren't even alive back home. A lot of them. If this place goes up in flames, if they gods die, they go nowhere. I'm not letting that happen.

And to this fucking lying scumbag, whoever you are? If you are one of us- I'll find you.

[That didn't go as smoothly or sound as eloquent as she'd hoped for. Ellie switches the video off with more force than is probably necessary.

Incredibly, she doesn't feel much better.]

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[Oh, gods. And not those ones.

Magnus sighs, like he really, really does not want to get into this, not with her, not with someone he really cares about. With someone he can't just not care about if they hate him.

He gets it. He honestly does get what she's trying to say. And he can see that she's coming at this with her heart more than anything. But...]

Angel... Okay, I love you, I honestly do. You're one of the best people that has ever stabbed me. The best, actually, I'd put you at the top of that list.

[Deep breath in, deep breath out.]

But I think you're jumping to conclusions about what'll happen if they, you know... die.

[She lights up a little when she sees his face; relaxes without even realizing it. Because it's Magnus. The Hammer. Big Buff Ham Man. He's good, and kind, he'll know what's right. She trusts that. That's why she fights the nausea rising in her stomach as he begins to reply.

Only he finishes, and it's not good, or right, and he's not siding with her. Ellie tries not to breath too hard, or jump to conclusions. Maybe he's just- maybe he just knows something she doesn't, right?]

What do you- what do you mean? They run this place, right? If Hope isn't here, then they... right?

[I love you, he said, as easily as if he's not only the second person to tell her that in her entire life. As if she doesn't feel like the floor is about to come apart under her feet.]

Edited 2017-10-12 08:45 (UTC)

[Oh, wow. Magnus really underestimated how hard that look was going to kill him. He knew it, he knew going in he just shouldn't have said anything, should've just let it happen, let her be mad and cool off and forget about it. Then they wouldn't have to be here, with her looking at him like he just broke her heart.

Maybe he did. Fuck.]

No, okay, don't freak out, just listen to me. Me and Lup and the guys, we've done this before. Sure, we don't have a fancy spaceship to ditch this place with, but the Door is right there. It can probably be rigged to take anyone anywhere, and they're the only ones with anything to lose if we fuck off to whatever world we can find. That includes everyone here.

[Okay, he just- her hands are shaking, she realises, and Ellie stuffs them under her legs, forces them to still. He just hasn't thought it through all the way, that's all. It's fine.

Ellie tries to stay patient, fights to keep the emotion out of her voice, but it's a pointless battle. Her face grows red, and her eyes shine.]

But what if that doesn't work? I don't mean- I mean, I believe you. That you could get everyone out. But what if it's something about the gods powers keeping my friends [fuck, that's a slip up, but not one she can take back] alive? What if they go through to another world, and they're just... dead. Again. Or gone.

[He can't look at her face anymore, but he can't just look away. He just can't stand seeing the hurt in her eyes. But he has to look at her, has to assure her.]

You're making a lot of assumptions about how the gods' powers work, Angel. But... just think, if the gods need power, and that's why they've set up the Door to bring people here, would they bother with someone who they had to expend power to keep alive?

They don't care about us, Angel. We're just fuel. They can say whatever they want, but with what they do to us just to squeeze more power from us...

[She can't break the contact either; eyes glued to Magnus as she grows increasingly and more obviously frustrated.]

I'm- Fear opened the door! Just Fear! What if Hope is keeping them alive, or something? I know I don't know anything for sure. I don't. But neither do you, right?

I don't care about the gods. I don't give a fuck. The things some of them have done- [Breathe.] But I'm not gonna bet with my friends lives. I can't do that, Ham. I can't.

If you can tell me you're 100% sure they'd be okay, then...

[She looks hopeful, like she wants him to assure her. Wants to hear that he can.]

issue #5 | video

video

video; i love death and dying

video; FUCKING BYE

LEAVING THE PLANET

FAREWELL

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