Richie Tozier (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
trashmouths) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
hadriel2017-10-25 03:56 pm
trashmouths) wrote in hadriel2017-10-25 03:56 pm
1st chuck; video
[The camera opens to two newcomers who might already seem familiar--Richie, with his absurdly large and extremely magnified glasses, and Eddie, the kid with the cast. Richie speaks first, naturally, and clears his throat in the most dramatic way he can muster. From the looks of it, they’re in one of the apartments.]
Okay. So. There’s this zoo, and in the zoo, there’s this elephant.
Wait, what? [ To his credit, Eddie’s already looking unimpressed. A new record.] Richie, no, no-one wants to hear about the elephant -
--I’m warming them up. Okay, There’s this elephant, and one day, he goes up to the camel, right? And the elephant, he says ‘Hey, camel, why do you have two boobs on your back?’ [ He adjusts his glasses, leaning forward: ] And the camel, he replies, ‘that’s a stupid question coming from someone who has a dick on his face!’
Ugh. For fuck sake, Richie. We’re meant to be telling them about the clown and shit, not listening to your stupid jokes. I should have known better, if you do that again I’m going to turn this thing off.. Are we going to tell them about the horror story from the sewers or what?
Alright. Alright, alright. But did you hear about how they made the clown’s shoes?
I swear Richie, this is important, people can get eaten and you’re making shitty jokes. That’s it how do you turn this thing off? [ And yup, Eddie’s already squinting at the camera, looking for an obvious off button.]
It was no small feat! [ Richie’s response? Smack Eddie away from the camera and nearly shove him off in the process. ] What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
[ Eddie takes that smack with a bit of dignity, only to lose the last shred of it as he hits Richie back for it.] No-one cares, all you’re doing is making yourself look seriously uncool. The point, Richie, we need to get to the point before they feed us to the trees for your bad jokes.
[ Richie, completely undisturbed, licks his finger. ] One’s a GoodYear and one’s a great year! [ And that wet finger? Straight to Eddie’s ear in retaliation for that smack. ]
[ That is one of the most disgusting things Eddie could experience. Apologies Hadriel, this kid has had it and all he can do is yelp, flinch away and then hit Richie harder for his sins. Richie falls, howling with laughter, and so does the camera being held in his hand--and there’s a thunk and a crack as Richie obviously lands poorly, and the laughter abruptly stops. The camera launches forward, being thrown, and hits Eddie square between the eyes by means of shutting off. If anyone’s still listening by this point, Richie’s voice screaming fuck you is the last thing heard. ]
Okay. So. There’s this zoo, and in the zoo, there’s this elephant.
Wait, what? [ To his credit, Eddie’s already looking unimpressed. A new record.] Richie, no, no-one wants to hear about the elephant -
--I’m warming them up. Okay, There’s this elephant, and one day, he goes up to the camel, right? And the elephant, he says ‘Hey, camel, why do you have two boobs on your back?’ [ He adjusts his glasses, leaning forward: ] And the camel, he replies, ‘that’s a stupid question coming from someone who has a dick on his face!’
Ugh. For fuck sake, Richie. We’re meant to be telling them about the clown and shit, not listening to your stupid jokes. I should have known better, if you do that again I’m going to turn this thing off.. Are we going to tell them about the horror story from the sewers or what?
Alright. Alright, alright. But did you hear about how they made the clown’s shoes?
I swear Richie, this is important, people can get eaten and you’re making shitty jokes. That’s it how do you turn this thing off? [ And yup, Eddie’s already squinting at the camera, looking for an obvious off button.]
It was no small feat! [ Richie’s response? Smack Eddie away from the camera and nearly shove him off in the process. ] What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
[ Eddie takes that smack with a bit of dignity, only to lose the last shred of it as he hits Richie back for it.] No-one cares, all you’re doing is making yourself look seriously uncool. The point, Richie, we need to get to the point before they feed us to the trees for your bad jokes.
[ Richie, completely undisturbed, licks his finger. ] One’s a GoodYear and one’s a great year! [ And that wet finger? Straight to Eddie’s ear in retaliation for that smack. ]
[ That is one of the most disgusting things Eddie could experience. Apologies Hadriel, this kid has had it and all he can do is yelp, flinch away and then hit Richie harder for his sins. Richie falls, howling with laughter, and so does the camera being held in his hand--and there’s a thunk and a crack as Richie obviously lands poorly, and the laughter abruptly stops. The camera launches forward, being thrown, and hits Eddie square between the eyes by means of shutting off. If anyone’s still listening by this point, Richie’s voice screaming fuck you is the last thing heard. ]
video;
video;
Both of you.
video;
Mildly. ]
He started it, though. Just saying.
video;
I did not start it Richie. You were the one making shit jokes when we were meant to be doing something important. Why can't you ever take anything seriously?
video;
Just what was so important that I had to be subjected to listening to the both of you shouting at the tops of your lungs for the third time this week?
wink wink video again
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Your objection has been noted.
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Wait, you can hear us?
[ Actually looks around for a moment as if expecting Ignis to just pop up out of nowhere.]
And the clown, the clown is important.
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Why is the clown important?
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[ helpful. ]
It ate our friends' brother!
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[ Gives a solemn nod because this shit is just grim all around.] It ate a lot of small kids back home.
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Georgie Denborough. Betty Ripsom. Patrick Hockstetter. Tania McGowan. The list goes on, and that was just this year.
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And Edward Corcoran. It enjoys the taste of fear so it makes sure to scare the shit out of you first, too. You can bet the last thing any of those kids saw was their worst nightmare and that's just this year.
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Are you concerned that this 'clown' [Not a clown, he would guess, but something that looks like one.] came through the Door when you did?
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I wasn't at first but it could have the more I think about it. It knows what your worst fears are straight away so it's not going to be good if it did come here.
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Look, I'm just saying the gods have been fucking with us for the past like, two weeks. Let them screw around if it helps. I'm pretty sure the noise won't kill you.
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[He's not going to get into this with you, Kyna. Try living near them.]
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[She sounds super unimpressed, but she'll drop it.]