Richie Tozier (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
trashmouths) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
hadriel2017-10-25 03:56 pm
trashmouths) wrote in hadriel2017-10-25 03:56 pm
1st chuck; video
[The camera opens to two newcomers who might already seem familiar--Richie, with his absurdly large and extremely magnified glasses, and Eddie, the kid with the cast. Richie speaks first, naturally, and clears his throat in the most dramatic way he can muster. From the looks of it, they’re in one of the apartments.]
Okay. So. There’s this zoo, and in the zoo, there’s this elephant.
Wait, what? [ To his credit, Eddie’s already looking unimpressed. A new record.] Richie, no, no-one wants to hear about the elephant -
--I’m warming them up. Okay, There’s this elephant, and one day, he goes up to the camel, right? And the elephant, he says ‘Hey, camel, why do you have two boobs on your back?’ [ He adjusts his glasses, leaning forward: ] And the camel, he replies, ‘that’s a stupid question coming from someone who has a dick on his face!’
Ugh. For fuck sake, Richie. We’re meant to be telling them about the clown and shit, not listening to your stupid jokes. I should have known better, if you do that again I’m going to turn this thing off.. Are we going to tell them about the horror story from the sewers or what?
Alright. Alright, alright. But did you hear about how they made the clown’s shoes?
I swear Richie, this is important, people can get eaten and you’re making shitty jokes. That’s it how do you turn this thing off? [ And yup, Eddie’s already squinting at the camera, looking for an obvious off button.]
It was no small feat! [ Richie’s response? Smack Eddie away from the camera and nearly shove him off in the process. ] What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
[ Eddie takes that smack with a bit of dignity, only to lose the last shred of it as he hits Richie back for it.] No-one cares, all you’re doing is making yourself look seriously uncool. The point, Richie, we need to get to the point before they feed us to the trees for your bad jokes.
[ Richie, completely undisturbed, licks his finger. ] One’s a GoodYear and one’s a great year! [ And that wet finger? Straight to Eddie’s ear in retaliation for that smack. ]
[ That is one of the most disgusting things Eddie could experience. Apologies Hadriel, this kid has had it and all he can do is yelp, flinch away and then hit Richie harder for his sins. Richie falls, howling with laughter, and so does the camera being held in his hand--and there’s a thunk and a crack as Richie obviously lands poorly, and the laughter abruptly stops. The camera launches forward, being thrown, and hits Eddie square between the eyes by means of shutting off. If anyone’s still listening by this point, Richie’s voice screaming fuck you is the last thing heard. ]
Okay. So. There’s this zoo, and in the zoo, there’s this elephant.
Wait, what? [ To his credit, Eddie’s already looking unimpressed. A new record.] Richie, no, no-one wants to hear about the elephant -
--I’m warming them up. Okay, There’s this elephant, and one day, he goes up to the camel, right? And the elephant, he says ‘Hey, camel, why do you have two boobs on your back?’ [ He adjusts his glasses, leaning forward: ] And the camel, he replies, ‘that’s a stupid question coming from someone who has a dick on his face!’
Ugh. For fuck sake, Richie. We’re meant to be telling them about the clown and shit, not listening to your stupid jokes. I should have known better, if you do that again I’m going to turn this thing off.. Are we going to tell them about the horror story from the sewers or what?
Alright. Alright, alright. But did you hear about how they made the clown’s shoes?
I swear Richie, this is important, people can get eaten and you’re making shitty jokes. That’s it how do you turn this thing off? [ And yup, Eddie’s already squinting at the camera, looking for an obvious off button.]
It was no small feat! [ Richie’s response? Smack Eddie away from the camera and nearly shove him off in the process. ] What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
[ Eddie takes that smack with a bit of dignity, only to lose the last shred of it as he hits Richie back for it.] No-one cares, all you’re doing is making yourself look seriously uncool. The point, Richie, we need to get to the point before they feed us to the trees for your bad jokes.
[ Richie, completely undisturbed, licks his finger. ] One’s a GoodYear and one’s a great year! [ And that wet finger? Straight to Eddie’s ear in retaliation for that smack. ]
[ That is one of the most disgusting things Eddie could experience. Apologies Hadriel, this kid has had it and all he can do is yelp, flinch away and then hit Richie harder for his sins. Richie falls, howling with laughter, and so does the camera being held in his hand--and there’s a thunk and a crack as Richie obviously lands poorly, and the laughter abruptly stops. The camera launches forward, being thrown, and hits Eddie square between the eyes by means of shutting off. If anyone’s still listening by this point, Richie’s voice screaming fuck you is the last thing heard. ]
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[It's dry, but still amused.]
Is your friend in a similar condition?
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[ Richie finally appears on the screen, adjusting his glasses, no longer a disembodied voice. ]
You wanna help? I'm thinking of just chuckin' 'im into the river.
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I think I'd be cross-dimensionally fired from my job if I assisted in a homicide, so I'll pass.
[And that subject resolved--]
Your friend was saying something about a clown?
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[ This conversation is going weird ass places.]
Richie, you aren't beating me and I have a broken arm! And yeah, a clown. A monster clown that eats kids and uses fear as some salt and pepper for it all. Best to let people know about it so if it turns up here then you know about it, right?
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Yes.
[It's definitely best to know about that, especially since things from individual people's worlds seem to show up every so often. But he's just... Going to avoid mentioning that for now; no need to worry these kids unnecessarily, at least not just yet.]
It only goes after children?
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[He'll just... Keep the cult part in mind, but if this monster shows up here then it's a lot more likely to be an issue for children than anything else.]
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That definitely sounds like it sucks.
[And he completely means that.]
Did you have to deal with it in your world? Is there some way to fight it?
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