01 | voice

[cashlin]

Hey, gang! Hope some of you didn't get maimed-slash-dismembered over the last couple weeks. [stated as breezily as ever, way to go lilith.]

Got a PSA for you all. I know alcohol sounds pretty great, especially after the wendigo crap, but don't drink the stuff in the restaurants without checking it first. I got lucky with the first one I tried-- sorta tasted like a fruit cocktail kind of thing-- but one time a bottle got knocked out of my hands and it dissolved through the floor. So, uh. Yeah.

Also, does anybody else have guns around here? Are you restocking your ammo at all or are you just... rationing it out? I've been trying to look around the armory but every weapon there's of the stabby variety. That's great and all, but you can't shoot swords out of a shotgun.

[... no one tell her.]

That's it for now. Lilith, out.

Comments

[cowardley]

That's a little conspiracy theorist for me right now.

[cashlin]

Yeah, that one’s sort of a stretch. [snickering.]

I think I’m just gonna catch my own meat. Might as well do something with the monsters I take out, right?

[cowardley]

You're going to eat them? [ That sounds gross, Lilith. ] Some of them don't look tasty.

[cashlin]

Believe me: once you've had to eat skag, you can eat anything. [said with a grimace.]

One of my neighbors already shared some of what he'd caught with me, and it's all edible enough. If you get tired of plants.

[cowardley]

Uh, what's skag? [ because, lbr, skag just sounds gross. ]

And I'll... think about it. Thank you, though! [ she's just so sincere and polite. ]

[cashlin]

A skag's a screaming alien quadruped that's overrun the planet I was on before coming here. ...I think they're mammals? I'm not really sure.

[they are gross. very gross.]

No prob. [you are too pure for this horrible murdercave]

[cowardley]

...Oh. Wow. [ look, what else is a girl supposed to say? ] That's a terrible name for them.

[cashlin]

It's a terrible name for a terrible creature, to be fair. If you're lucky, Pandoran wildlife's out to eat you-- and if you're not, it's out to dismember you for kicks.

I'm including the bandits in that umbrella, by the way.

[cowardley]

That sounds insane. [ Like straight out of a novel, or some action-adventure movie. ] Why would anyone stay there?

[cashlin]

[A thoughtful pause.]

They said there was a treasure there-- hidden in something called the Vault. For years people flocked to Pandora looking for it. Including me not too long ago. Too bad all we found in it was a big alien that nearly killed us.

People do all sorts of crazy things to make a living, you know?

[cowardley]

...It sounds like it would have been easier just to get a regular job than treasure hunt. [ if you just want to make a living, make one, but lilith doesn't sound like the kind of person who just wants to make a living ]

But why would an alien be hidden in a Vault? And why did people assume it was a treasure?

[cashlin]

[annnd ashley would be right in that guess.] Now where's the fun in that?

'Cause of what they'd found on the planet before: ruins from a hyper-advanced alien civilization. Weapon corporations reverse-engineered everything they could get their hands on, and technology advanced like crazy. Not really a stretch people started talking about what else the Eridians left behind. Urban legends get outta hand that way.

[as for the alien itself...]

We were told... [or, rather, not told until the very last minute.] The Eridians sealed that thing in the Vault so it wouldn't destroy the whole universe. It was called the Destroyer. Real points for creativity to whoever named it.