008 [Video]

[lifetothefullest]

[So the fighting may be over, but that doesn't mean everything is going to be immediately fine. Finally having the time to really think about everything that's happened, and for everything to sink in, is going to make the next few days and weeks just as much of a challenge for some here as the last have been, if not more so.

But that is, hopefully, something he can help with, if at least a little. And there are new arrivals as well, who not only had to deal with the end of the invasion but also everything that goes along with suddenly finding themselves in an entirely new world, not to mention the sudden setting change too.

So he's trying to look as composed and calm as possible, which is a bit of a struggle since--like pretty much everyone else--he's exhausted and didn't get out of the whole ordeal with the Null entirely unscathed. Compared to some people he definitely fared better, but there's still a pretty obvious bruise across his cheekbone and around his eye; it's not too serious, but the main problem is that it's also not very helpful in looking as professional and put together as he's trying to appear.

Still, he's doing his best, and he lifts his chin a little and takes a deep breath before speaking.]

If anyone is injured, or just in need of somewhere safe to rest, the hot springs and the fire station are both serving as temporary locations for the clinic. Additionally, considering the seriousness and extent of everything that's happened in the last few weeks as well as the arrival of new people, it's worth reiterating that I'm a psychologist and so if anyone wants to talk, whether about recent events or otherwise, I'm available to meet.

[A short pause.]

I'm... Not exactly sure where, since my office doesn't exist anymore, and I probably should've thought about this before making this announcement...

[That would've been good planning, if he weren't so tired and scattered, but okay, refocus--]

But that can be decided on an individual basis. Additionally, if you'd like to respond privately, you can do so.

[And he includes a brief explanation of how to make a conversation private. With all of that out of the way, he'll put a filter on the post himself and add another message.]

[Private to friends and coworkers]

I hope you're all okay, and... If anyone who wants to let me know for sure that they are, that would be great.

[He's worried about everyone. :c]


[[ooc: Anyone on the Clinic staff list or who has positive CR will be included in this filter; feel free to assume your character's included if they and Lance know each other and are on good terms!]]

Comments

[evocation]

Holy shit. That sounds like the worst idea ever. Shouldn't the FBI know better?

[lifetothefullest]

You'd think so.

[It really was dumb. Lance honestly hadn't thought too much of it at the time, willing to write it off as just old equipment, but he's a little more disillusioned with the FBI at this point and now that Kyna mentions it he really does wonder how that was a thing.]

But no real harm done, and I passed my test.

[evocation]

What does it take to get into the FBI, anyway?

[lifetothefullest]

That really depends what you want to do, but in general they want a college degree in pretty much whatever, and then you have to pass a bunch of tests and training. I kind of... Got out of most of those since I was already working at the FBI as a psychologist before I decided to also become an agent.

[Which has turned out to not necessarily be a good thing; the training for agents exists for a reason, after all.]

[evocation]

Oh. Do you like it?

[lifetothefullest]

[At one point, the answer to that would've been easy to give, but it's become less and less so over time. So he's silent several seconds at the question, too tired to really manage a convincing lie and not sure he'd want to bother anyway.]

I like some parts of it. Being a part of getting justice for someone, or stopping a person from harming anyone else in the future, or something like that is great.

[It's meaningful, and it does good. But--]

But sometimes things go wrong, and... Just before I got here, we were dealing with a mess of conspiracy and corruption in the FBI itself. That's kind of made it difficult to really feel as positive about it as I used to.

[Not to mention that he's pretty sure he's going to die at home because of the whole thing. That's definitely put a damper on his opinion of the organization.]

[evocation]

Jesus. What happened?

[lifetothefullest]

[Again he's quiet a few moments, trying to decide how much to say, before settling on an abbreviated version that leaves out the part about his own experience. He's not sure just yet if he wants to go into that, because he's barely told anyone here about it and it's still really difficult to talk about.]

Agent Booth--Dr. Brennan's husband--was framed for murder and spent three months in jail. We got him released a few days before I arrived here, and we've been trying to find enough evidence to lead us to the person who's truly behind everything.

[evocation]

God, that's bullshit. You don't have any idea who it is?

[lifetothefullest]

No. We think we were getting close, but there were so many layers to it and so many people and organizations involved that finding the person at the core of it--if it's even just one person--is just...

[He sighs quietly. It's a mess, and this whole thing with a traitor among the gods has really felt all too familiar because of it.]

[evocation]

That fucking sucks. I'm sorry. What are you gonna do when you get back?

[If he gets back, but whatever.]

[lifetothefullest]

[Again, there's silence for a time, as he debates if he wants to tell her. It's only fair, isn't it, after everything she's told him? And as difficult as it is, part of him really needs to be talking about it more than he has been, and so finally--]

I don't... I don't think I'm going to be doing anything. I was in a fight right before I arrived here, and I'm not... I'm pretty sure I'm not going to make it.

[evocation]

Wait, what? What do you mean, a fight? What happened?

[lifetothefullest]

[he shrugs, even though she can't see it, and his voice is more distant as he continues; it's easier to talk if he's not totally connected mentally.]

I served a warrant for evidence for the case, and as I was going back to my car someone was waiting for me and we fought. It was... Really violent, and I...

[He doesn't want to go into any more detail, because even thinking about it only enough to say it is still too much, so he moves on.]

When I woke up in the arena it felt different, and not quite as bad; I guess Hope might've done something so I wouldn't die immediately and waste his energy having to bring me back.

[evocation]

Oh.

[Kyna's silent for a second, grappling with that. She's not sure what to say. She never really knows what to say, but about something like this...]

Maybe you were just... hurt? Maybe it wasn't that bad?

[lifetothefullest]

[It's okay; that's the same thing Lance has been telling himself for awhile, and it's probably the most encouraging thing that's really possible in this situation.]

It could be. There's always a chance.

[He's trying to be optimistic about the idea, but his intuition so clearly tells him that isn't the case that it's difficult to ignore. But he's been wrong before, and maybe he's wrong again.

And now that he's said everything, he regrets putting all of that on her; she has enough to deal with, and so he tries to drag the conversation somewhere a little less dark, even if it's just faintly morbid dry humor.]

But... Either way, that's why I'm a little annoyed with FBI right now.

[evocation]

Yeah, I get it. Um...

[She hesitates. Now that he's actually opening up about something that's bothering him, she's not going to just check out of the conversation because it's hard.]

I'm sorry. That must be... I mean, not knowing...

[lifetothefullest]

Thank you, but it's... It's okay. I'm just preparing for the worst and then maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised.

[And then he pauses again as well, deciding how much more to say and still feeling like he shouldn't cause her even more concern, but part of the reason he tends not to start talking is that it's really difficult to stop. So after another few seconds he continues, hesitant but less distant as he does so.]

It's just... My girlfriend, Daisy, she's um... We're expecting a baby in a few months.

[And dealing with the fact that he probably won't be there is easily the hardest part of everything. He could handle not knowing for sure, or knowing that he doesn't make it, if it weren't for that.]

[evocation]

[Wow. Somehow it's even worse than she thought.]

God, Lance, that's...

[Awful. Horrible, if he's right about dying.]

Maybe it'll be okay. Even if you were that hurt, maybe someone will find you in time.

[lifetothefullest]

Yeah. There's another agent that might be around; he didn't have anything else to be doing, so I wouldn't be surprised if he was following me.

[So maybe. Maybe Aubrey will be close enough to help, and maybe Lance isn't hurt as badly as he thinks and will hold on long enough for help to arrive. Maybe. He's trying to hope for the best, but after the past few weeks he's so drained and it doesn't help that Sorrow figuring out the Door was going to be his best chance if it does turn out he was fatally injured. It's probably no surprise that he's feeling a little discouraged at the moment.

But not having to worry about continuing to keep this particular secret when talking to Kyna is at least something; it's one less problem to stress about, at least. And he really does appreciate her listening, because as much as he often refuses to take his own advice he still knows how important it is to talk about something that's wrong--especially something so traumatic--rather than keep it to himself.]

Thanks, for... For listening.

[evocation]

Yeah. Of course.

[Her voice is gentler now, maybe surprisingly so.]

Um, hey. I've got a bottle of this weird alien vodka stuff I found. I think you probably deserve a drink.

[lifetothefullest]

[It'd be difficult to miss the change in her tone, and he's going to choose to take it as sympathetic instead of pitying. He often takes on the same tone for the same reason, after all.

And although he isn't feeling super up to speaking to anyone in person, despite the entire point of this broadcast, he's not going to turn down the offer.]

I'm always interested in trying alien vodka.

[He could very much use a drink, no matter how much he logically knows this is a terrible idea considering the general lack of food.]

[evocation]

Okay, cool. My place or yours? And you know that means you have to try it first, right?

[lifetothefullest]

If you don't mind, coming to mine would be great.

[He's not at all up to walking if he doesn't have to. His tone is a little lighter when he responds to her next comment.]

What, are you afraid of it?

[evocation]

The last mystery alcohol I tried tasted like paint thinner and cheap cinnamon candy, so yeah, I am.

[And she's considering that a good survival instinct.]

I'll be over in like ten minutes.