[video]

[attagirl]

[ the video starts abruptly on the exasperated face of a man in his mid-twenties. ]

Okay, so, look: I hate to make an introduction here by going "hey, I'm Axton, I need some help," but.

[ he pans the camera over to an enormous sabre turret that seems to be somehow droopy on one side. there's part of a panel missing, and a person with a keen eye might notice that some of the metal is actually slightly warped.

axton will sigh from behind his phone. ]

If anyone has some usable tools, or is just some kind of like - mechanical genius, I'm willing to work out some kinda deal. I just can't leave her looking like this, guys: it's breaking my heart.

Comments

[attagirl]

[ oh. axton should maybe be embarrassed for throwing that lingo at him, but he sort of doesn't know what the word 'embarrassed' means, so. ]

Uhhh. It's really freakin' cool and it shoots stuff dead.

[fictionalised]

Well, I'm sold! I love things that kill things. It's my favorite sort of thing.

[ "shoots stuff dead" is incredibly vague, but... it's also all hawke really needs to know to decide he likes it. unfortunately, he is way too 2000-and-late to comprehend the gun thing. ]

How does it work? Right now, I just see a hunk of metal that's too big to hit someone over the head with.

[attagirl]

[ and axton will just.

squint at him, before speaking slowly: ]

Do you know what a gun is?

[ HE'S NOT TRYING TO BE PATRONIZING he is just trying to figure out what ground they're on here. ]

[fictionalised]

[ blank

fucking

look ]

...Nnnnnno.

[attagirl]

[ o m f g.

axton gets to teach somebody about guns.

this might be the best day of his life. ]

Boy, do I have a treat in store for you.

[fictionalised]

[ okay??? that explained nothing... you're just saying random things... ]

I hope that's not some kind of innuendo. ...Actually, you're not that bad, I'm flattered! But I'd still rather talk about killing things.

[attagirl]

Huh? I mean, it wasn't, but it could be.

[ okay, he's fucking shameless, but he'll charge ahead: ]

Where're you at? I'll let you see mine. -- gun. My gun.

[fictionalised]

Really? [ ohgodohgodohgod it's happening, this is so cool. he's gonna show hawke his killing machine. this is the best day. but he shrugs like whatever, i don't really care if you show me or not, who are you again? ] Third spire. If you happen by it, I wouldn't mind seeing your death-machine.

im so sorry im so slow....

[attagirl]

Cool. I'll bring it by as soon as it's fixed, then.