hadriel | ☢ audio

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[Newt has definitely not been up all night building salamander-proof enclosures out of spare Null parts so the fact that he sounds both tired and revved up on way too much coffee is just your imagination.]

Two questions, Hadriel. One: Tell me about the cave monsters. What all has crashlanded here before I got here? Specifically, I'm looking for stuff that a person could feasibly, like, catch. Or at least put down and drag into town for some post-mortem studying. This includes stuff that might be a good food source, maybe? I don't know. Depends on what's out there.

[The food source thing is secondary in his mind, but the masses don't need to know that. He's already expecting to catch some flak for this.]

And two: Anyone got some time to help me wrangle some salamanders, at least? I'm thinkin' two should be good. I'd like to grab some other stuff too, but again, depends on what's out there. Gonna start with the salamanders for now.

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Beetle friends! Buggie buddies! They came through the door with me and they are so cute but they spit acid and are very hungry--also just like me!

[Which leads him into the task of laying out what he's good at.]

Um, I am good at eating things even if they are not meant to be things that are for eating, and I am good at, um, at um, falling down but getting back up right after, and I am good at not letting go of things once I have them because sometimes I just forget to let go, and I am also good at screaming loudly!

[He looks down, thoughtful.]

I think I am also very good at finding my way back from strange places when I realize that I have become a lost person.

Buggie buddies. [Newt laughs. Oh my god. Those do sound insanely up his alley, though.] Awesome. How big are they? And, uh, how strong's the acid?

[For potential housing reasons.]

Those are some very serious skills you're packing, dude. I'm, uh, not sure how helpful they'll be for catching really dangerous stuff, but that's okay. I can't hunt stuff either. That's why I'm asking for help, y'know?

[He's trying to let him down gently. Hayden's enthusiasm is truly to be admired and he doesn't want to disappoint the little dude too badly.]

Hey, here's an idea, you can help me take care of stuff once I've got it. I'm gonna need a lot of help with the salamanders, for sure. How does that sound?

[If that's what you're trying to do you have severely underestimated his ability to take hints, Newt. This skull is thicc.]

I would love to do that! I'll help with both! I'm not afraid of danger!

[That's a lie, he's like super afraid of danger. Especially when the danger gets dangerous.]

Can I help name them?

Oh, uhh... [So that failed.] You know what, sure, if I ever go out monster hunting, you'll be the first guy I call.

[That seems safe since Newt will probably never go monster hunting??? He's a very big wimp.]

Name them? [Also a thing he had not considered.] Uh, sure, why not? That can be your job exclusively, even. What kind of names were you thinking?

[Remember how Hayden said he's good at screaming? He screams! In excitement!]

You're my best friend now! I will wait for you to call me!

[This is child that doesn't seem to understand nuances or "maybes" or "hey maybe wait awhile".]

I think I would have to meet them and assess their personalities before I can give them the best names that suit them but I am hoping one will be a Chimney.

[oh boy.]

Oh, hang on, maybe don't like, wait around for it? I don't know when I'll get a chance to go out next, y'know? Might be a while.

[this child??? who gave him a phone this seems like a bad idea.]

Holy crap. [He's laughing. This is great.] Yeah, I hope so too. Sounds like I've picked a good namer to join the team, if that's the kind of grade A naming I can expect from you.

Oh, okay. [But he's really excited, so he follows that up really quickly.] Maybe I will call you first!

[FRIENDSHIP AWAITS.]

I have a whole arsenal of names ready and waiting, Mister Sir! Like Kablow and NoiseMachine!

[newt is just echoing "oh boy" on repeat forever at this point.]

Uhh, sure! Yeah, you can call me anytime you want to go monster hunting. In fact, uh, definitely call me before you head out. [Or some other qualified adult...]

Dude, those are like, amazing names. Also probably fitting if these monsters descriptions are anything to go by... Hey, speaking of names, I'm Newt.

[He's definitely talked to this kid before, but he's not great with names and can't remember if they've made that exchange before.]

Wow! I'm going to call you...um...very much soon, I think!

[Having the ability to call someone whenever...? That's so much power. Hayden is really, truly excited.]

I'm Hayden! I'm happy that we are friends now Mister Newt!

Cool, yeah, uhh, sounds good. [Maybe... he should acquire some monster hunting gear, or something? Or at least some water bottles and stuff so he and Hayden can, like, do a lap around town and say they went hunting... Yeah, that's probably a better plan than actually going out.]

Me too, dude. Just Newt's fine, though.

[Newt will eventually learn that "just" is not a thing with Hayden.]

Yeah yeah yeah yeah!

[Yeah is starting to stop sounding like a word, but he can't help it, he's excited. Something about what Newt says seems to jog something in his brain though, so before the conversation can reach an end he's speaking up again.]

You know, did you know...

[He stops, starts over.]

I have a question! The question is that you remind me a lot of Mister Harlan who also tells me just to call him Harlan but I always forget to and he's my favorite!

[Hayden's good at questions.]

Oh.

[???]

Uh, never met the guy. I think I remember you mentioning that last time you put up a thing on the network, though. [...] Do I remind you of him just because of the name thing?

[Or maybe there's another scientist running around that he hasn't met yet? Unlikely, though... And anything is possible with Hayden. The similarities could be anything from the name thing to "you have both talked to me more than once".]

It is also because he looks and sounds exactly like you! Oh, um, except he doesn't wear glasses and he has a beard.

[Stubble isn't exactly a beard but it's more beard-like than what Newt has.]

[?????ing intensifies.

It wouldn't be the weirdest thing he's ever encountered? Rosie has been talking about a doppelganger of his that was here a while back, after all... But also, he's not exactly ready to trust Hayden's word with no actual proof. No offense, Hayden, but you are the kind of person who thinks screaming is something to bring up when someone asks about your special skills.]

That's, uh, bizarre. [Newt considers just messaging this guy to ask him what the deal is, but again, Hayden's opinion is not much to go by and that would be a weird introduction, even for Newt.] You'd think he would've spoken up by now, though? I haven't seen him around the network and I mean, if we sound the same, I just put up this big voice post, so he probably would've noticed.

Well...

[For the first time, Hayden hesitates.]

He just got back from being dead, I don't know if he's really in the mood for a fun mystery...

Ah. That sucks. [This whole resurrection thing is way too exciting for Newt to feel too bad for anyone dying. If you come back, it can't be too bad, right?]

I guess, uh... You got a picture of him or something? [That sounds like a good place to start?]

Uhhh...

[That's definitely NOT a yes. Hayden and his phone have a very strange and complicated relationship. Does he know how to use it? Probably, probably not. Emphasis on the not. So brb while he asks Harlan how to take a picture and abruptly takes one in the middle of the explanation.

So it probably isn't very flattering. It may have a flash glare and Harlan possibly shielding his eyes? Not great, but it's what Hayden presents Newt with after a pause.]

[Luckily, Hayden's picture just happens to straddle the line between good enough to make Harlan not a cryptid and bad enough to destroy any resemblance between the two of them.]

Eh... I guess I can kind of see it? [Their hair is like vaguely similar?] Odd coincidence, probably. Some other people have said there was, like, a literal second me running around here a few months back. That's weird.

[Hayden examines his photo carefully. It's a good photo and it belongs in a museum and how can Newt not see...how they're absolutely like twins?]

If I had a second me I would want to be friends with me. We could eat twice as many snacks!

[Newt considers this. Huh. Actually, yeah, that might be alright.]

I can see that. I'd get like twice as much done in the lab, easily. [...Or he would get caught up arguing with himself, but... Nah it'd be fine.]

Doesn't matter, though. He's long gone by now.

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