☢ audio

[completelycrazy]

[Newt has definitely not been up all night building salamander-proof enclosures out of spare Null parts so the fact that he sounds both tired and revved up on way too much coffee is just your imagination.]

Two questions, Hadriel. One: Tell me about the cave monsters. What all has crashlanded here before I got here? Specifically, I'm looking for stuff that a person could feasibly, like, catch. Or at least put down and drag into town for some post-mortem studying. This includes stuff that might be a good food source, maybe? I don't know. Depends on what's out there.

[The food source thing is secondary in his mind, but the masses don't need to know that. He's already expecting to catch some flak for this.]

And two: Anyone got some time to help me wrangle some salamanders, at least? I'm thinkin' two should be good. I'd like to grab some other stuff too, but again, depends on what's out there. Gonna start with the salamanders for now.

Comments

video;

[demonsional]

Me! Me! I have all of the time! I have the most time! I want to save them!

[He is not wasting any time.]

I also want to save the beetle friends!

video

[completelycrazy]

[oh god that sure is a child.]

Uhhh... I mean, sure? We're probably gonna need a third or fourth party member to help, though. Like, someone fireproof. You got any special thing-catching skills I should know about? What're you good at, dude? Lay it on me.

[wait hold up.]

Beetle friends?

audio, mercifully

[64th]

Is salamander a euphemism for something? [ can you hear her waggle her eyebrows? because that's happening right now. ]

audio

[completelycrazy]

[Oh, he can hear it.]

Hah, I mean, it totally can be. But I'm talking about the salamanders that showed up with the newbies this month. You know, the lizards? That keep lighting stuff on fire? It would've been easier to just nab one when they showed up, but I had to build something to put 'em in so they don't burn my house down.

[They still might burn his house down, but it's fine. There are other houses.]

audio;

[restinglichface]

If you need a few monsters wrangled, I got you covered. Especially if getting them to you alive is optional.

audio

[completelycrazy]

Seriously? Hell yes. I'd prefer alive if it's something I can reasonably keep in a bedroom or something without it, uh, escaping or eating me or whatever, but dead works too. Especially for the big stuff.

[audio]

[mightypen]

I can tell you about the manticores and harpies, though I don't know how good either of them would be to eat.

I can get some to you though, but they won't be caught so much as.... chasing me.

[completelycrazy]

Uh... I'm familiar with those in terms of, like, fiction. Harpies are the bird ladies, right? And manticores, uh, are those the ones with the bird heads and like lion bodies, or something? Or are they the scorpion lions?

text;

[aroundthecoroner]

[The voice makes Michael do a double-take at the name. The hell? This is definitely not Harlan but also: kind of.

????? Anyway.]

I could probably assist with the post-mortem part.
I studied biology and I worked in a morgue.

[Not that those things are related, actually. He considers volunteering to help with the monster hunting too but- yeah no, there wouldn't be anything usable left.]

You'll have to find somebody else for the actual hunting part.

text i GUESS

[completelycrazy]

[what the hell hdu equate him with mr. dad rock get out of here newt is way cooler than that scrub.]

Hmmmm I guess it might be cool to have an assistant?
What kind of bio?

voice;

[thelastjoy]

You wanna study those things? Why?

audio

[completelycrazy]

[Newt is the most prepared for this question. He gets it all the time back home.]

A few reasons. Mostly I'm hoping to learn anything from 'em that might be useful around here. Like, with the salamanders, they can not only generate their own intense heat, but they're also fireproof. That's wild. We could use that.

[He's not 100% sure on all the practical applications for the stuff he wants to know, but knowing things never hurts.]

If I'm lucky, it'll give me some info on where these things came from. Alphys and I are trying to pinpoint locations where the Door is opening up in other worlds, and these monsters are coming out en masse. That's typically different than how people end up here, so it could mean something.

text;

[warfares]

What caves?

[ Frustrated and disorientated, he'd barely had a chance to become adjusted to his present surroundings when the city moved. And to a circumbinary planet that could give Tatooine a run for its money when it comes to miserable heat.

He is far from charmed. ]

text

[completelycrazy]

Oh are you new? You must be new.
Up until now the city's been underground. There were all these crazy caves jutting out from the main cavern and that's where you'd find all the monsters.

text;

[utulien_aure]

There may not be any salamanders left. The creatures who come through the Door when people arrive rarely last for long.

text

[completelycrazy]

What? No way a bunch of them totally escape into the caves.
There's gotta be some leftover. They're fast.

( audio )

[ghoulaid]

( This is a super important post. Too important to waste time with texting. )

Hold the fuck up, what are you gonna do with the lizards? You gonna do weird shit to 'em? I ain't about that. ( And Ghoul's opinion is extremely valuable here, you know. If only because he may be sort of keeping an eye on one of the remaining salamanders.

It's really fucking cute, okay. It must be protected. )

[completelycrazy]

[!!! LET HIM SEE YOUR LIZARD GHOUL!!!]

Wow, calm down, guy. I'm not gonna do anything with 'em? Just, like, keep 'em and observe 'em and stuff. We don't have them in my world and I want to know how they, uh, work.

audio

[softspokenlandlord]

...But why? Why do you want dangerous creatures?!

I understand it's not my business, but please do consider your welfare! I mightn't have seen all the monsters, but those salamanders are trouble...

[Buddy, Ryou is new but he is quite concerned for you already...]

audio

[completelycrazy]

[Wow who's this buzzkill?]

I want to study them. I've got it handled, dude. Don't sweat it. I built fireproof cages for 'em and everything.

[He is very confident in his own abilities.]

audio.

[puzzlingly]

It depends, what do you wanna learn from the salamanders?

audio

[completelycrazy]

Anything and everything, really. We don't have them where I'm from. They're like tiny dragons or something, and that's wild.

text;

[hasitsthorns]

Anything specific you're looking for or just a general idea?
Varrens remind me a little of mini-Kaiju but they'd be a bitch to try and get alive.

I can probably trap a couple smaller creatures.
I'll give anything easy enough to catch to Alphys to pass onto you.

text

[completelycrazy]

Just a general lay of the land would be a good place to start.
Hm. Yeah anything reminiscent of a Kaiju is gonna be a pain in the ass. Above my pay grade if I'm honest. Do tell though. And would it be possible to get one not alive?
Thanks man.

[He's about to leave it at that, but then, hold up.]

Wait why Alphys?

[Voice]

[lifetothefullest]

Why do you want the salamanders?

[It isn't accusatory or judgemental or anything; he's genuinely curious. The monster thing makes sense, both for studying them and potentially as a food source, but the salamanders sound like a separate thing from that and so he's interested in the motivation there.]

[completelycrazy]

[WOW DON'T CALL HIM OUT LANCE.]

I'm hoping I can figure out how their whole fire schtick works. Like, how they generate that much heat, and how they're able to withstand those temps too. Could be useful for making flame retardant stuff.

[Maaaybe. It's a long shot but look they're cool okay??]

[Audio]

[drabsolutelynot]

I'm going to start with the obvious: this is a bad idea.

[But Lee's been around long enough to know that warning pretty much has a 100% fail rate in changing people's minds here in the cave. A person determined to do something stupid will 9 out of 10 times still do something stupid]

But if you are going to do this I could recommend the use of some sedatives.

audio

[completelycrazy]

[nO oNe AsKeD yOu OlD MaN!!!!!]

I thrive on stuff other people call bad ideas, pal. And anyway, I wasn't looking for opinions.

[...wait what did he say though??]

Sedatives? You know where to get ahold of that kind of thing around here?

audio;

[stealer_ofsouls]

Sounds like fun. [No Bakura, wrangling monsters sounds dangerous and foolhardy. But then again, most fun things are.] When do we start?

audio

[completelycrazy]

[NEWT AGREES TBH.]

Uh, whenever! I'm good to go on the salamanders, like, ASAP, but give me a heads up before you bring back anything else living. If it's small and relatively harmless, I can probably take it, but for anything bigger or more dangerous, I'm gonna need to set up an enclosure beforehand. My door's always open when it comes to dead stuff, though. I can always use more specimens.

[am_i_a_monster]

You could go hunting with me and get the monster that you want.

[completelycrazy]

Uh... [Why is this comment so weirdly ominous?] Yeah, sure. What kind of hunting experience do you have?

rolls in here extremely late with audio.

[torrefied]

There's been talk for some time of compiling an informational database for the creatures we encounter, but so far, nothing has come of it.

yes good come to me

[completelycrazy]

No kidding? Dude, I'm planning on doing that for myself anyway. That's the kind of thing I live for.

[Sort of? Organization isn't his strong suit, but research sure as heck is.]

Who's been talking?

text;

[valdazzling]

Are you fire proof, ese?

[completelycrazy]

Dude you have to be to survive in this heat.
Anyway I've got science on my side. Close enough.

audio;

[hardwearing]

Two things back at you.

First, I can catch most anything I've run into in the tunnels, the question is just if you want it alive. I've dragged a few things that might be edible into the city already but don't know how to butcher -- so maybe you should come take a look at that.

Second, I think I recognize your name... and need your help.

audio

[completelycrazy]

[Oh, ew, gross? But also: Score!]

Uh, no problem. I handle nasty dead stuff all the time. It's usually sent to me in chunks, too. [He laughs.] Where's it at? And, uh... Recognize me from where, exactly?

[Like he's Newt fucking Geiszler and all, but he's not sure how his reputation precedes him and what exactly he could even help with???]