hadriel | 002; text

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002; text

hey guys when are we finally gonna name this planet? something COOL. because i got some good ones!

what if we call it "the extreme teen bi-ball"? for the two suns! or "spume"! i think spume is a pretty good one.

how do we vote on this? who's got ideas? if we get enough we could just use a different one every day. yknow keep it fresh!

[ anyway sorry, but merle is... here.

(i've come back from hiatus to say. 1. he icly forgot all about offering dance lessons probably within a week of doing it, and 2. if anyone wants/needs to discuss handwaving an old thread, my office hours are open.) ]

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[Excuse you he’s not ruining it he’s savoring it.]

pssssh yeah
new holiday
merle beefs it for the 69th time
bring the kids
sure a dudes gonna die but its gonna be so rad you wont even be sad about it
thats the ultimate goal

anyway yeah leave it to party planner taako
get some catering going itll be rad
whatre you feeling
are you a cake dude you seem like youd put your dick in a carrot cake
which i dont love
but whatevs its your day

[ i'm mad because honestly "so rad you won't even be sad about it" is probably legitimately merle's final death Goal. get that mourning shit outta there. sit on a whoopie cushion. laugh about that time he picked up a random leaf and ate it. ]

with friends like these who needs any other kinda party planner?
if we do carrot cake im gonna make a crown out of carrots
carrot king cake
magnus can carve one of those little babies to bake into it

[ Look. Does anyone know if they have fantasy king cakes in this lovingly crafted universe? Nobody can tell me otherwise. It doesn't even have to be mardi gras it just has to be

a tiny carved figurine of a baby with merle's beard and eyepatch

hidden in a cake

for someone to accidentally almost eat

we're voring baby merle for his big death day. ]

["The time", as if there was only one time Merle ate a random leaf. Please. Regardless, Taako is laughing so hard on the other end of this it’s getting hard to type through tears.]

oh my FUCKING GODS
PLEASE
you fuckin GOT it man
absolutely choice
we’ll blow up the baby in tandem with you
itll be perfect

blowing up the baby is an important metaphor!

[ THIS DEATH PARTY IS THE EQUIVALENT OF A DRIL TWEET. merle loves it. ]

i dont think its a metaphor so much as its a reinactment
because youre Also blowing up
maybe
well treat the baby with the same reverence you usually give your body so like
none
ss cool i got this all written down