hadriel | oo1 . text .

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oo1 . text .

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Reboot attempt 5890426767832059: Successful.

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Connection has b

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Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh

Are you the people? The new hosts? Hello!!!!!!!! I am 864578 sub 5. If you like you may refer to me as [Name].

Oh

We hurt you so much

I'm so.... I'm so angry! With myself! With my people! Why did we do that? You are just trying to survive!

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Oh

I am alone. In your city.

I am afraid.

Will you kill me if you find me? I hope you don't. I will continue to hide.

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I won't hurt you.

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Maybe

We can be friends?

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Abandoning your post was an option. You chose not to take it.

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Our directives were in conflict. [Name] respects your position.

Do you? Is that respect new?

[Or a part of some kind of original programming? How much can a Null be changed by proximity to the gods?]

Edited 2018-03-17 09:30 (UTC)

This unit hadn't considered your position before.

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Understanding your reasoning is not impossible for the Null. Empathy, however, is.

You sure about that? You said you don't want to die. Most of us don't, either. Some of us were angry, some were trying to protect others. And some were afraid, like you claim to be.

Do you understand how we felt now? Or is it still impossible?

I understand.

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Because I am infected.

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The rest of my species will not.

[One part of Nick remains suspicious, but another part holds onto that shred of hope that some of them can come around, especially if they're individuals rather than a hivemind. After all, here is one claiming to understand -- not that they have much of a choice -- when the others wouldn't even try to breach the wall between cold logic and empathy. If the replies he's seeing elsewhere on this transmission are to be believed, even the more manufactured of the Null can individualize from the original coding, find their own identities...

Maybe he wants to keep that shred of hope alive because it's a thread so close to his own, mechanical heart. He didn't have a choice in who he is, either. How much of him is still the original Nick? How much of his own identity does he really have? Where does the real Nick end and he begin?

Some, like [Name], could more readily pinpoint that answer for themselves if they ever wanted to. He can't help be be a little jealous. [Name] might not be happy about their predicament now, but... hey, here's hoping.]

You mind if I ask you a personal question, [Name]?

Edited 2018-03-17 14:35 (UTC)

You may ask whatever you like.

Would you rather be like this? Or like you were before?

Edited 2018-03-17 14:53 (UTC)

Status: Infected

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Being infected is infected being parasites is infection virus [Name] is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is

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[END PROCESS]

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Error: Unknown

[Whatever answer he was expecting, that wasn't it.]

You okay over there?

Affirmative.

[Name] is confused. The answer to your query is unknown.

That's all right. Those first few times I asked myself the same thing, I didn't know the answer, either.

Edited 2018-03-17 20:46 (UTC)

[Nick Valentine] is similar to [Name]?

I'd say so. We probably have more in common than most of the other folks here.

[He's not sure he likes that fact, but it is what it is.]

Would [Nick Valentine] rather have this VIRUS? Or would that unit prefer to be logically sound, as the Null are?

I'd rather be able to feel.

Sure, it's not always good. You get angry, or sad, or scared. There's a lot to be scared of at times. You're not alone with that.

But there's a lot of good too, a lot you'd be missing if you chose to forgo all those feelings and have nothing but cold logic left. There's happiness. Pride. Excitement. That kind of warmth and joy that only affection can give you. You make friends, learn to really care about others. Find out who cares about you, maybe even become a family. You love and are loved in return.

It hurts like hell to lose it once you've had it, but I'd rather have gotten that experience than to never have known love at all. The Null might be logically sound, but by giving up both the good and the bad, there's a lot they're missing out on. Maybe, if you give it some time, you'll get to experience all that goodness, and you can figure out the answer to that question for yourself.

I might be made up of more gears and gizmos than most of the folks here, but I wouldn't trade those feelings, my friends, or the family I've found in this place for anything in the world... and I know they'd do the same for me. That's really something special.

[There's a longer-than-normal pause there, only a few seconds long but a large difference from Name's usual near-instantaneous messages.]

To endure happiness, pride, and excitement, one must also give up their willingness to contribute to an ideal society. The betterment of your people will suffer. Your technological advancements will suffer. Your people become a danger to one another. You become unpredictable and unreliable.

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Is [Nick Valentine]'s happiness still worth that?

I can't say I'd ever consider a society without all those things, both the good and bad, to be ideal. We might be unpredictable as a whole, but that's what you get when everyone is an individual. We have weaknesses, but we also have strengths.

It's not just my happiness we're talking about. It's everyone's, even yours. Those experiences and how they made us feel have made us who we are. They're what make me the Nick Valentine I am instead of just some other synth. They're what make you Name instead of just any other Null on the network.

If you are implying that the Null are not individuals, you are incorrect. We operate on the same logic core but we possess a sense of self and identity. Such a thing is possible, even without emotional attachment.

If you don't mind me asking, what is it that distinguishes you from the other Null? How can you have identity when you can't feel pride in your accomplishments, remorse for mistakes you've made, anger when someone has done you wrong, or sadness when you lose something you cared about? What makes you more than just a number, or something so dispensable that they'd trash you the second they considered you broken?

We have the consciousnesses of our ancestors uploaded into our systems at the time of our creation, which are then combined with our preestablished logic core. We are essentially extensions of them and serve as them in our society.

While it is possible that two Null share the same consciousness, it is unlikely that they will ever meet. Furthermore, these consciousnesses are further shaped by the living Null's unique experiences and memory.

In this way, we are each individuals within a collective.

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That does not necessarily mean that the Null will not hesitate to sacrifice one another for a greater objective. We are numbers, and we are dispensable, but we are not the same.

[Having the consciousness of someone else uploaded into their brains, being extensions of them... that's too close to home if you ask Nick.]

Do you remember back before you ended up like you are now? Who you used to be?

I am 864578 sub 5. Or- this unit was once. With emotion overriding the logic core, it seems as if a fundamental part of the Null that this unit once was is no longer in existence. It is a death, in a way.

Death in one way, but rebirth in another. You might not be able to go back to the way things were, but that's not a bad thing if you don't want it to be.

Good things and bad things are subjective. The Null attempt to be immune from subjectivity.

A rebirth is frightening, but this unit has little other option. [Name] will attempt to make the best of it.

[text, private]

synthedick - 2018-04-26 06:52 (UTC) - Expand

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