hadriel | 003; text

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okay gang time to get into a LITTLE philosophy with your pal professor merle. put your ass to the grass and talk this out. stay in school with me. don't be a loser!

now, hypothetically. in terms of this whole killer robots thing, since we can probably all agree they're assholes and they kinda make snags for us.

if you had a question you wanted to forward to one of the NORMAL killer robots who DOESN'T wanna be our friend, what's at the top of your list? assuming there's only time for like two questions before you get murdered, i mean. in the spirit of negotiation.

or heck, you know what? if you don't wanna think any up, save us all the trouble and just tell me what kinda VIBE you'd want a question to have. vibes are way easier. like cool teenager? hardboiled detective? big whiny baby? all that stuff.

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i'd ask them who'd win in a fight between a caveman and an astronaut. if they're gonna murder my fucking face in why bother asking why

that's the spirit! you gotta have a little fun with it sometimes! otherwise whats the point?

i think we all know astronauts win but if i remember and i get a chance i'll throw it out there

seriously? a caveman would destroy an astronaut. do you enjoy being painfully wrong or something?

yeah if i was an astronaut i'd be real scared of a hairy guy with a rock and a spear.

[ source: merle, who is technically kind of an astronaut. ]

actually i guess i would be kinda. but we're way up from cavemen! we got crossbows and spells! i got a warhammer!

if there weren't weapons or magic bullshit though it'd be a caveman wins scenario 100%

oh well sure if you wanna be like that

if you take away all the weapons and magic bullshit its basically just two cavemen anyway

yeah i'm gonna be like that. it's not an even fight if one just has a fuckin club and the other one has some magic wand powered by uranium and unicorn farts or some shit

i wouldn't wanna fight a big guy with a club unless i had my trusty unicorn farts

otherwise i'm just trying to hit him on the ass with my warhammer and it's a real pain

i'd ask if you were fucking with me but i feels like you're at least half serious

also i'm taking that as you admitting that a caveman would win in a straight up hand to hand fight

i just think there's no point having magic if i can't use it to kill a caveman!

i'm a dwarf cleric not a human fighter. what are the odds of him trying to hit me but swinging too high? could i put money on living?

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