Chapter ~7~ [Video]

[imhisaunt]

I'm sorry. 

[Delmar's phone is sitting in his lap as a thumb presses worriedly into the flesh of his lower lip. His eyes are angry red at the edges, cheeks still damp though at this moment he's not crying.] 

I'm so very sorry. I'm sorry that I...

[He keeps getting to this point. He's started that sentence again and again in his mind but when he tries to finish it there's a static of thousands of things he's sorry for. He's sorry for the son his parents never had in him. For denying them that version of their lives in which their eldest son was someone they could be proud of. He's sorry for the big brother he's denied his siblings because he couldn't not be himself. Because he couldn't want to not be himself. 

He's sorry that he's not sorry for who he loves. He's sorry he never tried hard enough to be sorry for it. He's sorry that he saw all those wishes that he would change. All those hopes that he would 'grow out of it' 'fix himself' 'stop being selfish' ...and tossed them away. 

He's sorry because shouldn't he have done those things? Shouldn't he have put his family first? His friends? 

He's sorry. Confused. Tired. And sorry he's not smart enough to finish this sentence] 

.....All of these are...for all of you. 

[He simply turns the phone to show a platter of row upon row of small cupcakes with 'sorry' written on them] 

They are here at the bakery....

[And he starts to open his mouth as though to say something else. But instead he just ends the feed] 

Comments

video

[toiletseat_girl]

[George feels like shit. which is nothing new, she almost always feels like shit. but now it's even shittier than usual, thinking back to the way she behaved as a Reaper, the deaths she accidentally caused in her efforts to save a life. and guilt toward the way she treated her family, too. she turned off and ignored them for most of her life and now she's wishing she hadn't done that. but, jeez, Delmar seems like he's doing even worse than she is, so she opens a call to him]

Hey. Delmar. You okay?

[he's obviously not, but she doesn't know what else to say]

Re: video

[imhisaunt]

[He nods weakly before answer]

I'll...I'll be alright, George....

[A hard swallow]

I just...I'm very sorry.

video

[toiletseat_girl]

[her brows furrow slightly. Delmar is one of the nicest people she's ever met, if not the nicest. she doesn't get what he'd be sorry for]

But. Why sorry? I mean, you're a good person.

Re: video

[imhisaunt]

O-oh. That's...that's very nice of you to say. But I've hurt many people, Miss G-George.

Re: video

[toiletseat_girl]

It must've been by accident, 'cause I can't imagine you hurting anyone on purpose.

[imhisaunt]

Sometimes we hurt p-people the most when we don't mean to

[toiletseat_girl]

[this hits close to home, given how her apathy hurt her sister to the point where she's stealing toilet seats and hanging them from a tree to cope]

Sometimes, yeah. But if you don't mean to do it, if it's just an accident, can't you apologize? If they're worth keeping around, they'll accept your apology. If they're not? Well. Better you know that now so you can get on with your life.

[imhisaunt]

What if you can't? If they have passed away o-or if they're not here? Or if they never want to see you again?

[toiletseat_girl]

If they never wanna see you again, they're definitely not worth your time. It's their loss, not yours.

[imhisaunt]

You don't think someone can be justified in not wanting to see another person ever again?

[toiletseat_girl]

Sure, if they've done something like murder someone, but something tells me that you're not a crazy axe-murderer in your spare time.