hadriel | (Text)

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I have a thing to ask; a thing that is not acceptable in my world, but it is part of my story and I think I must acknowledge it. I have noticed that other residents of Hadriel share half of my inclination, at least, and I must ask:

Is it possible for one man or woman to be attracted to both genders? I mean no offense. I admit that my first love - unrequited - was female. My wife was surely female! But there was a male...briefly...though he was naught but a monster seeking to ravage the world.

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I was inconstant, Uncle. Even if I was under a spell, what I felt for that creature was wrong. Yet I felt it nonetheless.

You cannot help that! [ Maglor's voice is fierce ]

How can any hold against you that you could not stand before a Maia? And once you saw, you withstood him, far beyond what any would say was needful. You are not to blame for Sauron.

(His face gains some color and he closes his eyes for a moment.)

You have a special way of making me feel like less of a fool.

[ Maglor hums softly ]

Thank you for thinking so, Telpe. But even the least of the Maia are so far above us in power - how could any of us truly hope to resist them? Rightfully is Sauron called the Deciever! He gave you your heart's desire, my dear one. How can you be blamed for falling for it?

He knew how envious I was of Grandfather. He gave me a way in which to strengthen the world and be remembered as a greater Smith than Fëanor.

I excel Grandfather in one capacity: I am a greater fool. He at least recognized Morgoth.

[ Maglor snorts ]

Morgoth couldn't be subtle if his life depended upon it. [ He says plainly ] He made no attempt to hide from Father, and so was properly repudiated to his face. Sauron though - he was always clever. You are no fool, Telpe. You threw him out when you realised!

Sauron has learned the art of deception out of necessity. He is not as powerful as Morgoth and so he cannot flaunt himself in that manner. However...

I realized, because of him, that I can find men beautiful. I do not know if I will feel that attraction again, but that was real and I wish he had not been the one to teach me!

You may, or you may not - but do not let him poison it for you, Telpe. Tis not the attraction I warn you of, you know that.

[ He really doesn't care about who his nephew gives his heart to, after all - he's just worried about what might come after ]

I understand. (Oh what damage he has already done!) You would not have me making unnecessary enemies from those I call kin.

I fear that. [ He says sadly ]

So much of our history has already been twisted that way.

If it occurs...here...and only here...would it be so dangerous?

Could you bear it, here? To love only to inevitably lose?

I will lose everything upon returning. If my heart can be healed here - for a time - that is worthwhile.

If that is what you want, Telpe - if you think your heart can bear it. Then you have my blessing, what little it is worth.

That means much to me. Now, keep in mind, I have no one in mind nor any inclination to pursue someone. They will need to be...special.

[ Amusement ] I am but your uncle, nephew, not your father! [ softer ] And there are few blessings that our House has left to give.

But your family will always support you, Telpe. Always. Only be careful.

There once was very little difference. I came to you for my bumps and bruises too. (This bruise is just...inside of him.)

I am likely to remain solitary. I do not have my father's spirit when it comes to romance.

I remember- you were always such a good child! So sweet and clever. We should have left you behind...I wish you never needed to know pain.

[ he hums softly ]

Whatever your choice, we are here.

Leaving me behind then would have broken my heart. (So there would have been pain either way.) There is only one place we could be without pain.

Thank you, Uncle.

You would be so bored in Mandos! I cannot imagine you still and silent.

We love you Telpe. Never doubt that.

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