EIGHTH SONG ♫ VIDEO (backdated to before the deserted event!)

[hasitsthorns]

[ It's inky black when the video starts rolling. The camera adjusts to the low light and focuses on Rose. It's still hard to make her out in the dark but she sits with legs crossed and guitar in hand. It's been a while. Normally, she only addresses the network when she's got something ridiculous to share with her fellow Hadrielites but today's clearly more of a somber affair.

There's the quiet count of 1, 2, 3... and a song starts to carry on the night air. She sings in time with the tune, a melancholy lilt to her voice. ]

I found God in a catalytic converter in Topeka on a Monday night. I taste blood every time I think of summer. If that's true, I'm in for quite a treat, 'cause I'm beggin' for the sun in a mid-Missouri winter waitin' desperately to get outta' town. No, you can't keep a good man down. You've been known to obsess over the future. Do you think you'll get away from the past? As you stone yourself just to make it through 'til midnight consider what you might have found; you think you've got a good thing now.

I found God in a catalytic converter in Topeka on a Monday night. Every saint has a past, every sinner has a future so you know what keeps me hangin' around. No, you can't keep a good man down. From here on, you can count on all things going the way they must've from the start. All you feel, all you feel, all you feel is the current flowing through you and seizing your infected heart-

[ There's a pause. A hitch of breath, a mistake and jumbled sound of the wrong strings. Almost immediately after, she laughs. ]

Ah, jeez. Lame. I said I wasn't gonna' cry. [ The blond clears her throat, gives a shaky breath. ]

It's been two years, give or take, since I arrived here. I'm the only one left of the Havenites. It's kind of... wild to think about sometimes. I had a lot I wanted to say, actually. A lot I felt. [ She lapses into silence again briefly. ]

I thought maybe I'd just sing instead. That seemed fitting. Despite everything, there's still... some parts of the me that came before all this. I know I've changed. Not in just bad ways, of course, but. Kind of makes you wonder, you know? A lot of what could have been, what might have been... For me, this is all there is anymore and some days I'm not sure how to feel about that.

Anyway. I just wanted to say Happy Two Year Hadriel Anniversary to me, I guess. It's been a pretty alright ride, all things considered. Here's to hoping I make it another year and however many more to come.

[ Her hand reaches out, blocking the lens and ending the feed. ]

Comments

shows up super late lmfao, video!

[sciencelizard]

[She'll answer with a little bit of clapping, just as she should commemorate.]

I, uhm-- I'm coming up on my two year, too. Not next month, but uhm, the month after. I think. It's... hard to t-think that it's been so long.

[hasitsthorns]

[ Oh. Hey. ]

Yeah, I was gonna' say- You've been here almost as long as me, huh? I remember when you first showed up and Newt and Hermann were still around.

My Newt, anyway. New one is cool but- Still kind of hard sometimes.

[sciencelizard]

[She nods, a bit somber.]

Yeah. I remember. Sans introduced me to them.

[It's part of why she protects the Lab so much. That's their legacy. She spent months listening to Newt's recordings when she was alone, like listening to podcasts to simulate having friends. Except these were way sadder.]

I didn't know him as well, so, uhm. It was nice to get to know him now, a-at least. But I think about that sort of stuff a lot. The people I might never... you know.

[hasitsthorns]

[ 'You know.'

Does she ever. ]

Yeah. So do I. It... It hit me harder than I realized, I think, when Wade disappeared. I'm the last one from Haven now.

[sciencelizard]

I'm sorry.

[She means it, too. She knows how it feels to meet people, make friends, and then see every one of them taken until there's no one left.]

I've been the only p-person from my world here for a long time now. Ever since Mettaton disappeared more than six months ago. It's... it's a lot. To sort of think about, and deal with.

[hasitsthorns]

Yeah, I mean to ask about... that.

[ But she didn't because, well- It's hard. While Rose copes by just not talking about these types of things, she doesn't realize sometimes maybe others kind of need to in order to get over stuff. ]

You never know who The Door will bring back, right? I try not to hope but it's a nice thought sometimes.

[sciencelizard]

It's okay.

[She tries to offer a smile, but she looks conflicted. It's obvious this is weighing on her mind.]

I don't know if here is better than home. B-But I wish more of them got to see the sun. Not be stuck underground. I... wanted to give that to them.

[She messed that up back home. But here, she has help. She has the Gods.]

[hasitsthorns]

[ Who hasn't messed up back home? In her case, she ruined her way through two worlds and this feels like one of the first places she's gotten it... Okay, well, not right. But decent, at least. Better. ]

Hey, who knows. Sorrow gets the door working, then maybe we can go anywhere. Maybe you can go back and then bring them to somewhere with a sun.

[sciencelizard]

[She knows that feeling. She hurt people, back home. This was supposed to be a fresh start, and-- well, it was something. She doesn't really know if it's been flawless, or entirely helpful. But it's better. She thinks, by now, she can say it was better.]

That sounds like it would be, uhm, r-really crazy... can you imagine us getting a whole world? But I don't know if I'd want to be away from humans forever, or-- or something. I don't really know where I'll be when this is all over.

[She places a hand to her chest, claws stretched out so her palm is flat.]

It'll be weird, if we get to remember. How we'll go forward. I don't really know, uhm, h-how it'll feel.

[hasitsthorns]

[ Definitely better. ]

I'll probably be here, if I can be. Should probably talk to the gods about how they're handling stowaways.

[ Ah, yeah, that is... something to consider. She wasn't sure how it'd be handled here, honestly. She still remembered Haven but part of her told her she wasn't supposed to. Maybe she was supposed to be cryogenically frozen and dreaming of home.

Who knows. ]

At least if you remember then you'll know to come visit me from time to time.

[sciencelizard]

[Alphys blinks at her for a moment, her hand still on her chest.]

I... well... y-you know you could come with me, too.

[It's a little honest, even for her, and she ducks her head to obscure the red on her face.]

I know monsters aren't exactly your, uhm, family, but I bet everyone would really love you. And monsters take care of each other, so... I mean. Just. So you know.

dear god I am sorry in advance

[hasitsthorns]

[ Oh, that's-

For a moment, the woman feels like she's suspended in time. She remembers what she'd thought any number of ways in Haven when travel to other worlds was discussed as a possibility. For all the dreams she'd have of traversing the multiverse and seeing her friends world's, of belonging somewhere with them- It had never been more than a pipe dream. She never entertained the notion for long.

I won't ask, she'd thought, to squash the desire down. She couldn't curse another world with the blight that was herself; she had decided in that Hellish place that she was black stain upon any reality she was thrust upon. It had happened back home, it had happened in Haven, it had happened in Hadriel. She was a monster that ruined everything she touched and nothing good would ever come of her presence. At least here, that didn't mean she was outcast. Negative emotions could still be used, after all. She was good for something for once in her life.

I won't ask, she'd thought, and somehow had never considered the possibility that anyone would want her. ] You'd.

I mean, like. I'm not- [ Her voice sounds impossibly small, unsure in an uncharacteristic way. ] I don't.

[ Don't cry, she chides mentally. That's not going to help your case any. But someone... Someone wants her. Despite everything, Alphys sees a place for Rose in her world that Rose herself hadn't let dream could be a possibility. ] I mean, I'd like that I just-

Are you sure?

[ For as much as she's expecting the other woman to change her mind, there's some small part of her that still hopes: Please say that you're sure. ]

NO THIS IS GOOD

[sciencelizard]

[She knows in a moment that she's said something very, very significant. Not that she doesn't know Rosie has some hangups about what is home, and who is home, but-- she's suddenly worried that she may be getting Rosie's hopes up for nothing. But one thing is always clear.]

I-- o-of course.

[There's only so long she can go without adding the all-important caveat, of course.]

I mean, I, as long as I can go home I mean, I'm not sure if I can go back due to some uh, circumstances and stuff, but that's a me thing and I mean even if I couldn't you deserve to because everyone there is very nice and I'm sure you could... find... yeah.

[That's the best amount of words she can pull right now.]

[hasitsthorns]

[ Of course, she says, and even if it ends up being impossible... Well, the fact that Alphys wants her there is good enough for Rose. It truly is the thought that counts in this case. She knows that if it isn't something that can happen it's not in their control but the fact that she was wanted is. ]

I don't think I'd want to go if you couldn't be there, honestly, but- I appreciate it. The sentiment.

Maybe things will work out, somehow, that everyone can kind of. Go where they want. Or even come and go? That'd be nice.

[sciencelizard]

[She manages to smile, clasping her hands together on the other side of the screen.]

Well, uhm... I think wherever we end up, I'd just be happy to be there with you.

[It can be a little embarrassing to be that blatant, but-- it's true. If she can't go home... well, her new friends are just as good. Maybe this is what it means to be the heroine.]

So, uhm, I hope we aren't just l-locked out. Or anything.

[hasitsthorns]

[ She manages to smile too, something sweet and sincere. ]

I think I would be too, honestly. So let's hope for that, yeah? That wherever we end up, it'll be together.

[sciencelizard]

[Alphys nods.]

Yeah. I think we can make that happen, right? Or I mean. I believe we can.