Video || 01

[theweakhavepurpose]

[Pratt is sitting on the lower bunk of his tiny-house, part of his machine gun visible to the side and a wood plank wall behind him. He's wearing his deputy outfit again, his hair in neat braids thanks to Kettara.]

Before this whole talk of moving I was starting to set up a target range because I'm getting rusty. Figured since we have a lot of people who are experienced with firearms, arrows, knives, whatever, that I'd set it up so anyone can use it.

I've made a few spinner targets and I found a few wooden target dummies near the Colosseum but they're in rough shape so they need some clean up. I was working on a skeet shooter, but my plan to use a motor from a moped didn't work since they're electric and full of pointless plastic crap instead of useful gearbelts.

[He shakes his head, frowning at broadcasting his failure to everyone. He hadn't meant to say that.]

That's not the point.

Since we're apparently being shuffled to the next livestock pasture for us, I'm going to hold off setting it up until we're there.

What else would you guys like? Anyone need something to stand up to a crossbow? Or more intricate for throwing stars? And this shouldn't be a problem here, but I'm preemptively letting you know that there's no flamethrowers allowed at my range.

[He narrows his eyes at the screen before shutting off the feed. He definitely looks like he's adding that caveat because he's encountered that problem before.]

Comments

[itsnotaonesie]

...So do you need someone running security or something? Because holy crap. Who needs napalm?

[theweakhavepurpose]

I probably do. So far I have one employee. And she's a dog who's going to fetch arrows back in return for food and ear scratches.

Honestly the best bet for security is probably the guy with the Napalm.

[itsnotaonesie]

Is it that one dog that can talk? I really hope it is, because otherwise I probably sound kind of nuts right now.

Just don't let him bring the Napalm to the firing range, maybe? That just sounds like a bad combination all around.

[theweakhavepurpose]

Oh good someone else can hear it. I was starting to think I'd gone so crazy I was just hearing animals talk randomly.

But yeah, it's her.

I let him know, but I don't know how I'd stop him. Other than shooting him and he's wearing enough armor that might ricochet off and hit civilians.

[itsnotaonesie]

Oh thank God, I thought I was finally losing it.

Try saying "please", maybe?

[theweakhavepurpose]

The alternative is we're all going insane together.

[That counts as optimism for him.]

Really? That's your advice?

[itsnotaonesie]

No. No, the dog talks. I've decided.

[pratt 8(]

Do you have any better ideas that won't end in possible collateral damage?

[theweakhavepurpose]

[he hopes Peter is right about that.]

Not really. I'll try politeness, just for you.

[itsnotaonesie]

[So does Peter to be honest]

Oh, good! I believe in you, Deputy, you can totally do it.

[theweakhavepurpose]

[He actually smiles, look at that.]

Thanks. My own personal cheerleading squad.

[itsnotaonesie]

[PETER WINS YEAAAAAAAAAAh]

Don't expect me to wear a tiny skirt or start waving around pompoms though.

[theweakhavepurpose]

[Yeah yeah, don't let it go to your head kid. ]

I'd prefer you didn't honestly. And if we end up in the ice world you'd have hypothermia in ten minutes.

[itsnotaonesie]

[too late!]

Yeah, good point. I don't have any skirts layin' around anyway. Man, that planet sounds kind of horrible.

[theweakhavepurpose]

You know that's where we'll end up, because it's the shittiest option. We'll all be wearing thirty shirts and looking like the staypuft marshmallow man.

[itsnotaonesie]

They both sound kind of awful. I can't decide if freezing sounds worse than dealing with jungle bugs and stuff or not.

[theweakhavepurpose]

What if it's like Starship Troopers and they're huge bugs full of goo?

Maybe we could ride them!

[itsnotaonesie]

Dude, no. The bugs in Starship Troopers traveled in like swarms and chopped people's head's off. I don't wanna fight or ride something like that!

[theweakhavepurpose]

Don't tell me we wouldn't look badass on an army of bugs.

[But would they? Would they really?]

I guess we'll see when we get.. wherever.

[itsnotaonesie]

I mean, we probably would, but I think they would just eat us.

Now I'm kind of worried about giant bugs, though? So maybe I actually will build a flamethrower.

[theweakhavepurpose]

As a police officer I'm going to refrain from encouraging underage flamethrower making.

But it would probably be useful.

[itsnotaonesie]

That's okay. Let's just say I'm eighteen, it's not like nobody can prove otherwise.

[theweakhavepurpose]

I don't even think the aliens from other planets would believe you were eighteen.

[Nice try Peter.]

[itsnotaonesie]

Hey, I'm almost there! I've been here a few months now, I'm getting close!

I... Think? Oh God, what month is it? What year is it? This place sucks.

[theweakhavepurpose]

Well it was 2018. But who fucking knows.

Also that's for me. I met someone from 2030. And someone from 2050. So time is pretty irrelevant.

But you still look twelve.

[itsnotaonesie]

2018, okay. Cool, that's when I'm from. My friend Tinya's from like, 3000 something though, so. I mean, what even is time anymore.

And I totally don't look twelve, you're exaggerating.

[no peter, you just look 12.]