✿ VIDEO ✿ PSA ✿

[glazedonutholes]

[ Have a pink space marine on your feed and yes that is a legit flower crown on his head and yes they are very much alive! ]

Hey guys! Private Donut here with a friendly PSA - that’s a Public Service Announcement for anyone not familiar with 26th century lingo.

Since we all found ourselves in a chilly situation these last few days, I figured I’d give a few Pro-Tips for surviving an ice planet on account that I’ve got experience with it. 

[ He clears his throat. ]

1. Traveling
If you find yourself without your trusty vehicle, don’t worry all you have to do is find the biggest, nastiest, meanest, land animal and beat the crap out of it and saddle it up!

2. Entertainment
As we all know, revolutionists like to hide out in deserted ice planets so get on your sturdy steed and find yourself a Rebel Base! It’s bound to have all sorts of reading material and if that’s not really your style they should have some working generators lying around you can hook up all your gadgets and electric blankets too.

3. Food 
Hibernate! Go ahead and eat all the food you have on hand in one go, then sleep until we’re back to sunny days! Now, if you’re not a bear or Grif, or if you just can’t hibernate, then I suggest you go back to your land animal, sharpen your trusty paring knife and slash that sucker open and BAM! Food for weeks!

4. The Cold: Survivor Edition
When your Ugg boots just aren’t enough. Remember that land animal you ripped apart like a Hollywood rendition of Jack the Ripper? Well, don’t forget that animals are people too which means they’re warm just like us. If you ever find yourself in a pickle just crawl inside its carcass and the hot blood will keep you cosy warm all night. And as an added bonus, you can always skin it and make a fur coat. We have no room for waste here, people. 

5. The Cold: Pacifist Edition
Now, for those of you who aren’t really into killing. I’ve got a Doc-approved idea just for you. It's simple really, all you have to do is find yourself  [ he pauses for dramatization ] a Cuddle Buddy!!!

[ He’s so excited he grabs some random person off camera and cuddles them as he says his good-bye. ]

This has been a Franklin Donut Production!

[ And the feed ends. ]


[ooc; Open to Action - Feel free to be the poor person he grabs off camera. I'll go with whatever background/storyline you have for ending up in his pink clutches. ]

Comments

[glazedonutholes]

Killed? Don't be silly.

This a survival guide. I know it's a little complicated but if you re-read it I'm sure you'll get it.

[uptightness]

I think it's the exact opposite of a survival guide.

[glazedonutholes]

What's the opposite of a survival guide? A de-vival guide? Is that a word?

[uptightness]

Five easy steps to dying?

[Although the last might actually have some merit... Not that she is going to admit that.]

1/2

[glazedonutholes]

But why would they do? They're not sick are they?

2/2

[glazedonutholes]

Oh no!

Is there a bug going around because I haven't had my flu shot yet!

[uptightness]

[So the question is, does she want to make him squirm?

It is fun...

And...

No. Look at it already. Carolina isn't certain she would live with all the Reds full time. She'd likely go grey.]

Because people don't typically fight the biggest meanest beast and survive to saddle them up, for starters.

[glazedonutholes]

[ He relaxes. Oh, Carolina. You almost scared him there. ]

Sure they do. The guys and I used to do it all the time.

[uptightness]

And all of you deserve to be eaten ten times over for doing that.

[Because the average person would indeed be eaten.]

[glazedonutholes]

Well, Grif almost got his leg chewed off on account of his slow reflexes but Sarge killed it while trying to do another one of his shot-gun court martials. Oh, you should have seen it! It was all like Pew, Pew [ he pretends to shoot an imaginary gun ] at first with Simmons trying to kill it with his rifle, then Sarge stepped in and then [ he cocks an imaginary shot-gun ] KABOOM

Shot-gun to the face!

That thing was dead like totally, totally dead.

[uptightness]

[Just... no... on so many levels.]

So when are you going to go and find a carcass to crawl in to, or better yet, hibernate?

[glazedonutholes]

Oh, I can’t go hibernate now, I’ve got a date with a pretty lady. It’s going to be a blast! You’re invited if you’d like, we’ll make it a threesome!

[uptightness]

Right. You might want to tell her you're going to be late.

[Very, very, very late.]

[glazedonutholes]

Why would I do that?

[uptightness]

Because your legs are going to be broken.

1/2

[glazedonutholes]

....

[ An owlish blink as he tries to catch up with those words. ]

2/2

[glazedonutholes]

[ Then a knowing smile. ]

Heey! Is that your new stuff?! You almost got me there!

You should stick with being yourself. It comes off much better and I gotta say, it's a lot less weirder than Tucker's stuff.

[uptightness]

[Her new- For the love of all things. She is going to tear her hair out.]

There is no new stuff. There is no old stuff. There is no stuff at all.

[glazedonutholes]

.... Uhhh. Is that supposed to be some new-age stuff? Because it sounds like something Doc would say.

Well... just fyi, I don't really understand it when he says it either but usually, he's happy about it.

[ But she doesn't sound happy at all, so how can it be New Age? ]

[uptightness]

[Just- This look before she ends the feed.]