✿ VIDEO ✿ PSA ✿

[glazedonutholes]

[ Have a pink space marine on your feed and yes that is a legit flower crown on his head and yes they are very much alive! ]

Hey guys! Private Donut here with a friendly PSA - that’s a Public Service Announcement for anyone not familiar with 26th century lingo.

Since we all found ourselves in a chilly situation these last few days, I figured I’d give a few Pro-Tips for surviving an ice planet on account that I’ve got experience with it. 

[ He clears his throat. ]

1. Traveling
If you find yourself without your trusty vehicle, don’t worry all you have to do is find the biggest, nastiest, meanest, land animal and beat the crap out of it and saddle it up!

2. Entertainment
As we all know, revolutionists like to hide out in deserted ice planets so get on your sturdy steed and find yourself a Rebel Base! It’s bound to have all sorts of reading material and if that’s not really your style they should have some working generators lying around you can hook up all your gadgets and electric blankets too.

3. Food 
Hibernate! Go ahead and eat all the food you have on hand in one go, then sleep until we’re back to sunny days! Now, if you’re not a bear or Grif, or if you just can’t hibernate, then I suggest you go back to your land animal, sharpen your trusty paring knife and slash that sucker open and BAM! Food for weeks!

4. The Cold: Survivor Edition
When your Ugg boots just aren’t enough. Remember that land animal you ripped apart like a Hollywood rendition of Jack the Ripper? Well, don’t forget that animals are people too which means they’re warm just like us. If you ever find yourself in a pickle just crawl inside its carcass and the hot blood will keep you cosy warm all night. And as an added bonus, you can always skin it and make a fur coat. We have no room for waste here, people. 

5. The Cold: Pacifist Edition
Now, for those of you who aren’t really into killing. I’ve got a Doc-approved idea just for you. It's simple really, all you have to do is find yourself  [ he pauses for dramatization ] a Cuddle Buddy!!!

[ He’s so excited he grabs some random person off camera and cuddles them as he says his good-bye. ]

This has been a Franklin Donut Production!

[ And the feed ends. ]


[ooc; Open to Action - Feel free to be the poor person he grabs off camera. I'll go with whatever background/storyline you have for ending up in his pink clutches. ]

Comments

[fogsong]

Base... book? [ Uh. Is that..? ] Is that some shitty version of Facebook where you're from?

[glazedonutholes]

[ Yes, yes it is. It's a total rip-off. ]

What's facebook?

[fogsong]

A shitty social media platform that people use to connect with friends and family. It's kind of a shitfest of opinions, bad selfies, and vague posts about feelings to get attention from people that really don't care.

[glazedonutholes]

Oh! Yeah! That sounds like BaseBook alright. You should friend me! BaseBook offered us a deal where we'd get a free rescue if a post got over 1,000 likes so I uploaded a picture of Freckles with a sombrero. It was a veeeery high quality picture.

[fogsong]

...Do you know where you are? Or hit your head recently? [ Should she be concerned?]

[glazedonutholes]

Sure, Wash called this place Hadriel. [ A pause. ] But that was before we came to this cold tundra. Are we somewhere else now?

[fogsong]

Nope, still Hadriel, just new view. But that means you have no access to the things you had before. No internet, no cell towers, no weird spaceships or BaseBook. We are totally isolated among one another.

[glazedonutholes]

Aww, man. That sucks!

I'm totally gonna complain to management.

[fogsong]

Good idea. The man to complain to is named Hope. He loves to hear our complaints. [ Is she a bit of a troll? Yeah. ]

[glazedonutholes]

Really? Then, I'll go straight to him.

Thanks a lot for the information, saved some time.

[fogsong]

He's not around right now but when he comes back, he's really going to want to hear every complaint you have. It's important to him that this place really suits us

[glazedonutholes]

He's not?

[ A pause. Wait a minute... ]

Shouldn't he be here? Where is he?

[fogsong]

I couldn't tell you. We're all in the dark about that right now.

[glazedonutholes]

Right. [ He nods. ] I'll just wait till he comes back!

[fogsong]

Here's to hoping it's forever.

[glazedonutholes]

Forever's a veeery long time, you know.

[fogsong]

And that's the point, dude.

[glazedonutholes]

But I wanna speak with them with my long list of complaints. At this point, I'm going to have to write them in my diary just so I remember.

[fogsong]

You better start writing, then. Make sure you write down every little thing, too. Hope's going to appreciate it if he comes back. [ aka: please annoy this god if you ever come across it because you are clearly annoying. ]

[glazedonutholes]

That's a good idea. I'll get on that right away! Thanks!