text;

[aroundthecoroner]

So, uh, anybody seen any gods lately?

[No, this isn't the start of a shitty comedy set, it's the start of a shitty network post. Michael doesn't make these often; this might be his third in more than a year. But this situation seems to warrant it, and if no one else is talking about it yet... well. Someone's got to.]

I don't think it's a coincidence that the power's out, the water doesn't work, and those monsters are coming into the city whenever they feel like it.
That and, um, I haven't been able to contact any of the gods?
They don't show up in the temples, either.
I'm probably the last person to notice this, but I think something's, uh, pretty wrong here?

[Anyone familiar with him will know that this isn't a result of speech-to-text; he really does just type that way.]

Or I could be completely wrong and just missing them.
So, um, discuss I guess.
What's our plan if they really are gone?

Comments

[theladyofhighever]

We have sundials in Thedas.
We even have an entire calendar based on thirty days per month.
I can't say that I would like any of those things.
Isn't there any way to resist?
I recently arrived here.

[aroundthecoroner]

You can try to fight it.
Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
Some people seem to have more luck than others, too.
Sorry, I wish I could be more helpful.

[theladyofhighever]

How often does it work?
In your experience.
You've been very helpful. I'm grateful.
My name is Mariane Cousland, the Hero of Ferelden.
What is yours?

[aroundthecoroner]

For me? Pretty much never.
But I'd say maybe a quarter of people are either spared or manage to fight it.
And, uh, I'm Michael.
Michael Munroe.
I'm not the hero of anything.

[theladyofhighever]

A quarter of the populace?
Those odds aren't terrible.
It's a pleasure to meet you, Michael.
Even though you're not the hero of anything.
[...yes, that's her idea of a joke. pity her]

[aroundthecoroner]

Glad you're okay with meeting non-heroes.
Because I think you'd have trouble around here otherwise.

[And that's his idea of one. They're in similar boats.]

[theladyofhighever]

[she's not about to admit that she's going to have trouble here, regardless]

I'm fine with meeting anyone.
Who would you recommend?

[the terrible senses of humor boat?]

[aroundthecoroner]

Uhhh good question.
I mean, it's probably a good idea to know Nick, from the Guard.
He might look strange if your world doesn't have robots, but he's a good guy.
I'd get to know the Clinic staff, too, if you've got time.
And Newt, at the lab.
He's kind of uh.
He's a lot.
But he's smart, and he's good at solving problems.
Alphys too.

[theladyofhighever]

I've met Nick.
We have no one like him where I live, but he seemed wise.
[despite putting her down as a junior guardsman, even though she's a veteran of the Fifth Blight and personally led an army to destroy the Archdemon]
Who other than Pell works at the Clinic?
And I'll have to make my introductions at the Lab.
Thank you.

[aroundthecoroner]

Uh, well I do.
And there's Law.
And Dr. Rosen sometimes?
Kate quit, uhhh there's a few volunteers, like George, but that's most of the regular staff.

[theladyofhighever]

I'll have to make my acquaintance with them.
I'd imagine that in a place like this, a Clinic is of vital importance.

[aroundthecoroner]

Yeah, it sure is.
People get hurt a lot around here.
And not always because of the monsters.

[Sometimes they're just careless, but he's trying to be polite.]

[theladyofhighever]

People hurt one another often?
[she immediately assumes it's that]

[aroundthecoroner]

Nah, it's usually people being reckless.
Accidents, that kind of thing.
Not that people don't hurt each other.
And sometimes they get sick, but there's not a lot of disease coming in, so that's pretty rare.

[theladyofhighever]

It's good that disease is rare here.
A small community such as this, disease could devastate the population.

[aroundthecoroner]

Yeah, don't remind me.
All we need is one guy to bring in a plague and we're all in trouble.
The gods actually made a plague once, so that sucked.

[theladyofhighever]

They made a plague?
I realize that they need emotions to survive, but surely they could have implimented something a little less harsh.
[she has visions of the horrors of Blight sickness in her mind]

[aroundthecoroner]

Yeah, it made everyone paranoid.
Like the flu, but with a side of horror.

[It also almost made him kill two people, but YOU KNOW...]

[theladyofhighever]

That sounds potentially dangerous.

[excuse her, she's new. it has yet to really sink in that everything here is potentially dangerous]

[aroundthecoroner]

It, uh, it was.
Like, very.
But so are a lot of the events around here.

[theladyofhighever]

Why?
It seems conterproductive.
They need us to live to harvest our emotions.
It's in their interest that we survive.

[aroundthecoroner]

Well, most people survive.
And one of them can bring people back to life.
So it's not much of a loss for them.

[theladyofhighever]

So we are, in effect, disposable.

[aroundthecoroner]

Well, I wouldn't say that.
I've been kind of painting a bad picture here, I guess.
Not all the gods are heartless.
Some of them actually like us.
Like Love, I think they like us, like, genuinely.
And Hope, I don't think he brings us back just for his own personal gain.
Like, new people show up all the time, he doesn't have to.
I don't know, they're hard to read.
But they're just people, when you get down to it.

[theladyofhighever]

["people holding us hostage to their whims," she thinks but doesn't say. you'd think she'd be used to it, seeing as how she was given a choice between being conscripted by the Grey Wardens or abandoned to die with her mother and father]

I will have to converse with Love and with Hope when they return.
May they prove to be reasonable.

[reasonable is the most she's willing to hope for]