text;

[aroundthecoroner]

So, uh, anybody seen any gods lately?

[No, this isn't the start of a shitty comedy set, it's the start of a shitty network post. Michael doesn't make these often; this might be his third in more than a year. But this situation seems to warrant it, and if no one else is talking about it yet... well. Someone's got to.]

I don't think it's a coincidence that the power's out, the water doesn't work, and those monsters are coming into the city whenever they feel like it.
That and, um, I haven't been able to contact any of the gods?
They don't show up in the temples, either.
I'm probably the last person to notice this, but I think something's, uh, pretty wrong here?

[Anyone familiar with him will know that this isn't a result of speech-to-text; he really does just type that way.]

Or I could be completely wrong and just missing them.
So, um, discuss I guess.
What's our plan if they really are gone?

Comments

[aroundthecoroner]

It brought in these cute salamanders once.
I mean, they catch everything flammable that they touch on fire, but
They're cute.
Newt, the lab guy, he has a couple.

[sallyfaced]

wait a second
the guy named newt has salamanders??
lol thats amazing

[aroundthecoroner]

Yeah I thought it was funny, too.
He probably doesn't, but it is.

[sallyfaced]

thats undeniably funny
maybe one day he'll appreciate it?

[aroundthecoroner]

Sadly his sense of humor isn't fully developed.
It might take a while.

[sallyfaced]

he's just in denial
one day he'll see the light im sure