✫ 006 [text] backdated to 5/3

[sciencelizard]

[She had waited. She had waited out the event, she had hoped that maybe it was just a trick, she had hoped that.... well, a lot of things. Alphys knows she should do video for this, because people like to see her face, but she just can't talk as well as she can type after all this time.]

hey!! uhm
its alphys
u probably all knew that from the name right there lol but uh
rosie's gone home i think
she hasnt been home in a bit and ive been trying to find her but it just
yeah =;n;=
im sorry if people were friends with her and i
i hope shes okay wherever she went
i miss her a lot
<3 <3 <3 <3



......................................uhm
i also wanted to ask everyone
if we can make it out of this
whatever happens to the null
what do you think is going to happen???
like aside from live hahaaaa like with us
i mean a bunch of us will get to go home obviously LMAOOO but like
what if you dont want to

if you could do anything
what would it be????

Comments

[sciencelizard]

wellllll LOL
it just doesnt feel that simple
i miss my friends back home so much
id never want to abandon them
i just
if we do remember all of this its
things feel different yknow??
i feel different
maybe home isnt gonna feel the same either

[unphase]

I don't want to abandon my friends, either, but I don't think I have a choice.
I think it's impossible to not feel different after being here a while.
What about home do you think might feel different?

[sciencelizard]

well its
when i was back home i was sort of

i used to lie a lot
about what i could do and who i was
i tried to stop doing it when i came here
and it was really hard and its still not
i feel like im still not perfect
but going back means id have to do all that over again
my old friends might not even like me anymore if they knew the truth
is it cowardly to walk away from all that?
i dont know =^u____u^=

[unphase]

If you had to hide yourself to show who you really were?
Maybe it wasn't such a good situation to begin with.
And you're not perfect.
No one is.
Perfection is too high a bar to be placed on anybody.
Believe me, I know.
I wouldn't look at it as cowardly.
I'd look at it as self-preservation.
The one you owe the greatest debt to is yourself.
Don't forget that.

[sciencelizard]

idk i cant really imagine owing myself anything
i dont just deserve stuff for existing you know
i wanted to earn it
to prove i was like as talented and smart as everyone said i was gonna be
but i just messed everything up
people got really hurt
even if i go home i cant make that not have happened i cant save them
so is it
do i try yknow??
what if i can fix it and i just dont know yet
and i ran away because i was scared

[unphase]

Of course you owe yourself something. Happiness.
Or as close as you can come to it.
If you can't or don't want to go back to your world, you can go to mine.
No one would bother you there and you could research just about whatever you wanted to in peace.
By fixing it, do you mean go back in time and try to stop what happened before it happened?
Is that possible?

[sciencelizard]

i dunno about like
does everyone deserve to be happy?
maybe you lose the chance at it if you
you know
if you ruin it for yourself

i just
i did some bad things to some monsters and
maybe i can reverse it i dont know
theyll still remember it happened i dont think i could
yknow erase that

its rly complicated

[unphase]

How would you ruin it for yourself?

[there's a slight pause in replies]

What kinds of bad things?
No judgement, but I'm just.
I don't think you're the kind of person who'd hurt someone out of malice.

[sciencelizard]

ive just
it doesnt matter the intent
the intent can make it hurt less but it still
hurts
you know

i just
i didnt do my research like i should have and some people got really really hurt
i wanted it to work so bad i didnt know what was going to happen i just
didnt want to fail anymore
and they

i left them to die
i cant go back home
its.... im not sure its even home anymore
theres just a lot yknow
a. a whole lot
if i did bad things i dont know if im owed happiness until i make it up to them somehow

[unphase]

[that's a lot to take in. it takes a moment to reply]

If you're not sure it's home, then don't go back.
You can come to my world.
As long as your experiments are pursued ethically, no one would bother you.

[sciencelizard]

honestly if its
if i didnt have to i might not do science for a while lol
i didnt at all when i got here until it got
well a lot has happened lollll


thank you
ill keep it in mind
lets make it through all of this one more time
okay?

[unphase]

Then you could just live.
It's not like you have to make a living in my world.
Food and housing are provided for.

Okay.
We'll be fine.