video.

[kickingand]

[ Dean's got his device set up so that this isn't all Blair Witch Project (thank god) but he's got a jar of his own, which he's... gently shaking around a couple of fireflies in. Not like Sid and his toys or anything here, considering they're still alive, but he's cheerfully giving them a rock and roll. ]

I don't get the bug thing, I really don't--

[ After which he sets the jar down with a slight clatter, where the fireflies can finally carry on flitting about. ]

I mean, this is like crack to kids, right? Catching these things, watching 'em fly around? Never understood the appeal. [ Says the man with fireflies in a jar but he's curious okay, don't judge. ]

And then with the warm and fuzzies... I mean- C'mon. Never known a God to offer that up without some kinda hand being played.

Comments

[kickingand]

oh trust me, heard one of my buddys actual voices one time and it just about broke my eardrums. can't imagine your real wings are much better, we just get. i dont know. the leftovers of what they look like.

you burned yours?

[retiredfromhell]

Voices? Really? Our voices aren't usually the issue. Dad's voice is a problem for mortals, not that he uses it all that much.

Leftovers of what they look like? What, like a shadow?

Bit of a long story but in short, I retired from Hell and have no interest in going back. If I did want to go either up or down I'd need the wings to do it and I'm not doing either.

So no need for the wings.

[ Also, with them gone Amenadiel couldn't keep trying to manipulate him into wanting it all back. ]

[kickingand]

apparently they are where i come from. or it could just be that cas is a big deal [ Cas is sort of a huge deal but lets not go there either?!?! ]

yeah, like a shadow.

huh. you just get weirder and weirder. definitely not the answer i expected.

[retiredfromhell]

Who is Cas?

[ He'll ignore the weird label for the time being. He's been getting that forever. ]

1/2

[kickingand]

he's family

[kickingand]

[ WHOOPS Dean has such bad self control sometimes. Open mouth, insert foot. ]

thats probably not what you meant. castiel. hes an angel, but you figured out that much already

[retiredfromhell]

[ Now you're being confusing Dean. ]

An angel? I don't recall any of the host with that name and Dad didn't make any extras.

I certainly don't recall any angels named Dean, so how are you family?

[kickingand]

[ He's not being confusing, you're being... wrong. ]

maybe he didnt get around to introducing himself at your family dinners

and youre choosing now to get nitpicky? hes family because hes family, doesnt need any more explaining than that

[retiredfromhell]

[ You live on a tiny island in the middle of the river de-nile, don't you dean? ]

I was second 'born', Dean. I raised the host with Michael, there wasn't a single one I didn't know the name of.

[ Including the third of the host who flew at his back and ultimately died at his Fall. ]

Strange, I've never known a member of the host to get cozy with mortals. Odd as this is going to sound, I'm currently the only one with even a passing understanding of Dad's mortals.

[ Because Amenadiel is currently making a right hash out of mortals for his own gain. ]

[kickingand]

[ It's actually located in the middle of the ocean, but y'know, details. ]

yeah well michael doesnt always get things right either.

im not sure if cas would say hes got a full blown understanding but hes close enough. only took a few years and a whole lotta trial and error but at the end of the day i wouldnt change him

[retiredfromhell]

Try telling him that. He has creation's biggest stick up his feathered hole and it's been there since Dad said 'here you two, make this for me.'

[ Big brothers can be so annoying. ]

So what, you've adopted this angel? He adopted you?

[kickingand]

glad to know i wasnt the only one thinkin that

[ Oh Michael, how Dean does not miss you. ]

little bit of both? cas started it, i kept him around afterwards

[retiredfromhell]

Hardly. You should hear Gabriel on the subject. Well, when he's not being an officious ass. I'm sure Uriel would have an opinion, if he had a personality.

[ Family politics. Seriously, sometimes Lucifer is ready to adopt himself out to mortals. ]

You make him sound like a lost puppy.

[kickingand]

man all my old buddies. sure dont miss most of those guys. [ And if you mention Zachariah, Dean will so be done with all this nostalgia, save for maybe Gabriel. He likes Gabriel. ]

puppy or not, he can hold his own. believe me.

[retiredfromhell]

Me neither. One of the many reasons I retired.

Well good for him. Maybe he's not entirely useless like the rest of them.

[kickingand]

yeah well, gabriel retired too, when he had the chance. found his own special form of entertainment.

cas? useless? thats the last thing id call him

[retiredfromhell]

Did he? Well bully for him, hopefully he doesn't have family trying to drag him back into the business.

For someone who howled about the idea of sleeping with a guy, you do realize you're starting to sound like a Lifetime movie here?

[kickingand]

not sure family brings you back after you star in a porno

hey HEY this is not any kind of chick flick. [ Says Dean, who's favorite character on his soaps is (mister) Dr. Sexy. ] just telling it like it is

[retiredfromhell]

You think Dad cares? I've screwed my way through most of LA and he's still trying to put me back under his thumb.

But good for Gabriel. About time he learned to do something more with his dick than just wave it about.

You sound precisely like a chick flick, I'm waiting for you to break out in song like a musical at any moment here.

[kickingand]

yeah well thosere dads for you [ No sense mentioning that Gabriel is dead and all that, but at least he's stuck in a neverending loop of porn... ]

look im saving the musical numbers for another time. got it?

[retiredfromhell]

[ Worst ways to spend eternity. ]

A tearful reunion?

[kickingand]

tearful my ass

[retiredfromhell]

I was attempting to be polite and not bring your ass into this, but if you insist.

[kickingand]

i made the damn video while i was sitting on it

[retiredfromhell]

What's that got to do with anything?