1 [voice]

[foundafamily]

Hey, listen up. I’ve got an idea.

[Evidently a very important one, judging by how soberly he’s speaking.]

Obviously we need things to do in between gettin’ set on fire and havin’ our heads messed with. So I was gonna set up a card table in the bar—could be poker, faro, anything if we can get enough players for it. If people like it, we could make it a regular thing.

If you don’t know how to play, I’ll teach you. And if anybody knows any other games, I’d like to see ‘em.

Comments

[inappropriatelaughter]

If they shuffle like real cards, that's good enough for me. I'd play the shit out of some poker.

[foundafamily]

Glad you're not too picky. Great--I think there's some other people who'll be interested, so we can get a good game goin'.

...By the way, do I know you?

[inappropriatelaughter]

Nope.

[ wait shit ]

Unless you remember anything about a really fucked-up barbecue. Then maybe. [ A PAUSE. He clears his throat. ] I don't even—I'm vegetarian. [ no he is not ]

[foundafamily]

It is you!

[Normally he’d be reluctant to tell a strange man that he dreamed about him, but it seems safe to assume that that weirdness was happening to everyone.

Firo hardly hears the justification, convinced he already knows what kind of person this guy is.]

Look, you don’t have to try and explain it--I don't think I wanna hear about what you eat. I knew a guy as weird as you back home—just don’t try anything like that on me or my friends, okay?

[inappropriatelaughter]

Wait, what? No no nononono, it's not what you think! It's like— [ the truth might actually sound worse than the dream. He's bigtime fucked. ] —Okay, it's a long story, but it was a dream, right? You can't judge people by dreams!

[foundafamily]

[That gives Firo pause; he’s had some fucked up dreams himself… It was pure luck that kept him from having too many when everybody was messing around in each other’s heads.]

…Huh. What kinda person dreams about eatin’ people?

[inappropriatelaughter]

A normal person.

[ that sounds so dumb and unconvincing. ]

Demons eat people, right? [ He doesn't wait; this is clearly a fact. ] Which is weird and disgusting, right? So it's like a nightmare. About being a freak.

[foundafamily]

…Uh-huh.

[It’s the most skeptical of “uh-huhs.”]

I don’t know much about demons—you should hang out with Amos, he does—but… I guess you’ve got a point.

[It is freaky as hell.]

Why do you think you’re a freak?

[inappropriatelaughter]

I'm not! I told you, I'm normal! Just—sometimes people have weird nightmares!

[ He's so indignant. And so not going to qualify that with anything, lest he give any credence to the probability that he is, in fact, not normal. ]

[foundafamily]

Then why’re you worried about it if you’re normal?

[Trying to mess with a guy who dreams of eating trespassers may not be a good idea. Luckily, Firo rarely has good ideas.]

[inappropriatelaughter]

I'm not worried about it, I'm—

[ PAUSE. Is he being dumb right now? More importantly, does he seem dumb right now? Hm. ]

Are you fuckin' with me, kid?

[foundafamily]

No, I’m just curious. You’re the one who brought all that weird stuff up.

[Or, well, his subconscious did. It’s not like the guy can really help it.]

And I’m not a kid, you know.

[inappropriatelaughter]

[ just gonna leap on that subject change… ]

Teenagers are still kids. What are you, seventeen? Sixteen?

[foundafamily]

[That’s definitely one of the closer guesses Firo’s gotten, but he’s in no mood to be pleased with it.]

I’m not a teenager! I’m 22!

How old are you, anyway? You don’t look any older than me.

[At least, by Firo’s standards of significance.]

[inappropriatelaughter]

[ WELL NOW HE'S NOT TELLING. ]

Shut the fuck up, you're not 22. You look like you've never had to shave in your life.

[foundafamily]

I am!

[If anything, doesn't his mature attitude prove he's an adult? No? Well, fine, then.

In a way, the man is right--the elixir of life stopped his aging pretty close to the range Gojyo had guessed and a few years before 22. Firo doesn't make allowances for that, though, in part because he's disappointed at having to become immortal while still looking like a kid. Life is hard.]

I was born in 1912 and it was 1934 when I wound up here. You do the math. And you still didn't answer me!

[inappropriatelaughter]

[ Please, as if he's gonna do math. ]

You get this a lot, huh? Do you ever try to buy beer or something and have people tell you to come back with an adult?

[foundafamily]

Hell no! I can do that just fine on my own. No trouble at all.

[It helps when your Family runs the speakeasy, of course.]

[inappropriatelaughter]

[ YEAH OKAY. ]

Right, right. And then what, two or three before you can't walk home?

[foundafamily]

[Pout pout pout.]

Shut up! I can take way more than that.

How much can you drink anyway, huh? Maybe you’re the one who’s a lightweight!

[inappropriatelaughter]

There's one way to find out, right?

[foundafamily]

All right, let’s go do it. Delight’s place?

DO YOU WANNA ACTION THIS OR

[inappropriatelaughter]

You got it.