hadriel | 1 [voice]

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1 [voice]

Hey, listen up. I’ve got an idea.

[Evidently a very important one, judging by how soberly he’s speaking.]

Obviously we need things to do in between gettin’ set on fire and havin’ our heads messed with. So I was gonna set up a card table in the bar—could be poker, faro, anything if we can get enough players for it. If people like it, we could make it a regular thing.

If you don’t know how to play, I’ll teach you. And if anybody knows any other games, I’d like to see ‘em.

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[Firo's eyes widen just a tad; he's surprised to hear Carlisle be so frank about that.]

Seriously? And you just come right out and admit that?

It's not as though it's a secret, lad.

[Though he's not exactly warm on the idea he's constantly nervous, he has to admit that more than one person has described him as "high-strung."]

[He glares at Carlisle.]

Don’t call me ‘lad.’

And, you know, shouldn’t you work on fixin’ that? It’s definitely not gonna help you win at this.

[He utters an apology under his breath, forgetful that the colloquialism doesn't sit well with everyone.]

Ah, my uncles always said something similar, about fixing it. I've just learned to live with it.

[Firo looks him over, considering that.]

Huh. Who knows, maybe it’ll help you—if you’re always nervous, that could almost be a bluff by itself.

Just doesn’t sound like a fun way to live.

It's the only way I know, and it has gotten me this far, so I suppose it can't be all bad.

[Without even considering that Carlisle might not want his "help":]

Well, what's your problem? Are you scared of people? Do you have a guilty conscience?

I—

[There's a distinct pause, followed by the look of someone who absolutely does have a guilty conscience. In this case, it's not just his nervous habits, but it concerns Firo himself.

Or, well... the other Firo. Another Firo from another time and another world.]

Um.

[He looks down to his cards. Nope, no answers there. He'd rather continue with denial (no, what he'd really rather do is not talk about this at all), but he has amends he must, at the very least, try to make. With a sigh, he gives some semblance of an answer.]

Both, I suppose. I don't expect life has been perfect for anyone.

[Given how evasive Firo finds that answer, he definitely has an easy time believing that both are in action here.]

What the hell does that mean? I'm askin' you, not 'anyone'.

[Carlisle's brow furrows as he glares at his cards, as though they were the ones prodding him for answers. He doesn't like talking about his cursed nature with people he trusts, let alone someone who is more of an acquaintance -- an acquaintance to whom he owes amends, even if said acquaintance doesn't remember why.]

I- I have a condition, one that doesn't exactly inspire goodwill in people back home. It's not contagious or anything, but it does mean I tend to sleep with one eye open.

A condition, huh? So you're sick and people hate you for it?

[Sounds a little weird to him. Nobody back home was exactly fond of hanging around with people with TB, but it's not like they actively tried to attack them. At least no more than they did any other person.]

That sounds pretty stupid of 'em, if you ask me.

I am inclined to agree, but that's just the way it is. There's not to be done about it.

[And certainly not from him.]

There's nothin' to do about people not likin' you because of that?

[He sighs. How is the solution not obvious?]

You tell 'em they're assholes, that's what you do about it. And if they wanna make something of it, then you go at it.

[Carlisle's mouth crooks into an unsure smile.]

Aheh. I think "going at it" would end very badly for me, Mister Prochainezo.

[The formal address makes him pause. He's so used to hearing things like that only as a joke that it's weird to hear someone say it and sound genuine. He waves one hand.]

First off, it's just Firo.

Second, then you need to toughen up. I could help you with that too, but I'm not gonna go easy on you.

[Firo's charity, apparently, knows no bounds today.]

[He and Carlisle apparently have a very different definition of 'charity.']

Firo, then. I am ill-suited for any sort of brawling. I am trained as a healer, not as a fighter. My place is on the back lines.

[Or in his church. In a closet or a cupboard. Somewhere away from danger.]

[Firo makes only the barest effort to hold back a laugh.]

So you think you'll never get in a fight just because it's not your job?

[Conversely, Firo doesn't even attempt to think that maybe, just maybe, avoiding fights is actually possible for some people. Especially when they don't go around deliberately twisting lions' tails.]

I didn't say I'd never get into a fight. I'm saying I wouldn't win.

[One day, Carlisle might learn that a defeatist attitude probably isn't the way to deal with conflict aimed at him.]

[Now his mouth just drops open.]

You're givin' up before you even try? Are you kiddin' me?

I see no reason in wasting both my time and the time of whomever is looking to pummel me into the ground. Some will walk away when they find there's no satisfaction in the fight they so desire.

[Try as he might, Firo can't find the logic in that. He stares, stares some more, and then finally just shakes his head.]

That's pathetic. You know some people like beatin' up on the defenseless, right? What're you gonna do then, huh?

I suppose that's when I run.

[Or control them, his guilty conscience says from the back of his mind. It'd be easy enough, wouldn't it? Make one of them fight the others, then leave in the ensuing chaos—

Carlisle shifts uncomfortably in his seat, disturbed any part of him still considers that an option, especially when someone he once compelled to protect him is sitting not five feet from him. It's not wonder his condition makes others see him as a monster.]

I'm not sure why you're so insistent on this. I know I am a coward.

You're not even gonna try to change it?

[He's not even contemptuous so much as incredulous.]

People like that never last long where I'm from.

[Maybe he means it as an explanation for why he keeps hammering the point. Maybe it's more insult. Even Firo's not really sure.]

[Carlisle takes it as a little bit of both.]

I'm not likely to last long anyway, if it matters so much to you.

And you don’t think that’s more reason to try your hardest?

[It’s a very alien way of thinking to him. Even when he knew he was probably done for, he’d always fought for just a little bit more.]

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