third. text. (misfire)

[torrefied]

I should have known that the so-called "city guard" would be all talk and no action.

Comments

Text, biggest auto-correct fail ever

[outermirrors]

So you stopped blowing Near and finally came up for air did you?

permavoice; 1/several HERE WE GO

[torrefied]

[At first, there's just the clattering sound of Mello dropping his phone, and the shuffling noise as he scrambles to pick it back up.]

[torrefied]

[Then there's just a full thirty seconds of silence except for the sound of Mello's angry breathing. Did you know breathing could sound angry? Well, now you do.]

[torrefied]

[Mello's voice is tense as an over-tightened guitar string:]

Ebihara -

[torrefied]

You - !

[torrefied]

[More irritated huffing sounds, followed by a wordless noise of frustration.]

[torrefied]

I have never, at any point in the past, had any sexual contact of any kind with Near, nor will I at any point in the future. Ever.

ok sobbing done

[torrefied]

What the fuck, Ebihara! What is wrong with you?!

Voice

[solvethepuzzle]

Either there is something very wrong with the phones right now, or she has bizarre ideas in her head. Perhaps both. [Possibly the worst part about this reply is that Near doesn't even sound offended. Just normal flat tone, here.]

permavoice; 1/2

[torrefied]

[OH GOD, Near saw this - of course he did, because it's public. Mello realizes this, belatedly. Fuck his life, seriously. There's a distant sound, something like a frustrated screech, followed by muffled words that sound suspiciously like swearing in German, because that's gotta feel a lot more satisfying than cursing in English.]

permaprivate.

[torrefied]

[Mello's voice is very strained once he's finally able to collect himself enough to make a coherent reply.]

It's reasonable to assume it's the former, given the nature of this place, but I honestly wouldn't put it past her.

permaprivate voice

[solvethepuzzle]

[The screeching and the German swearing are kind of funny, actually. (Look, he can find this amusing because his phone hasn't fucked up yet, okay.)]

I've allowed for the possibility of both being the case, though I have no idea where such strange thoughts would come from. [No, really. He doesn't. This is so far out of his wheelhouse.]

[torrefied]

Well, you've obviously never been inside a teenage girl's head before.

[Mello has, unfortunately.]

[solvethepuzzle]

Given how secure the phone network is, I presume this is the work of one of the gods. And from the content of the messages and what they are likely meant to inspire, I suspect it must be Rage. [He knows the network is secure because of course he's tried to crack it. Anything that stands up to his hacking skills is impressive.]

As it is, her conclusion is completely ridiculous, but you're overreacting. [Not that he's unhappy about the switch back to voice communication rather than text, mind.]

[torrefied]

[Someone get this kid some blood pressure meds. 8|]

Shut up, Near! I'm reacting a perfectly proportionate amount!

[solvethepuzzle]

You're throwing a fit. That's proportionate? [This conversation is clearly going so, so well.]

[torrefied]

I am not.

[And he's not reverting to five years old, either. Clearly.]

Look, you might be able to ignore this bullshit entirely, but I can't. And just because you don't give a shit doesn't mean I'm wrong.

Permavoice

[outermirrors]

Wha-?

[that was not the message she sent.]

That is not what I sent.

switches to private because guess who remembered this is public 8[

[torrefied]

You know what? It doesn't matter. If you even have a shred of thought to that effect in that otherwise-empty head of yours, you better get rid of it. Now.

private

[outermirrors]

Wow I'm hurt you think so little of me. I have a fun fact for you though, you don't get to tell me what to think, ever.

permaprivate

[torrefied]

If it's something like this? Yeah, I do, because you're wrong.

ditto permaprivate

[outermirrors]

Am I? You're stream of responses could be interpreted as otherwise.

[ Can you hear the boredom in her voice Mello? ]

[torrefied]

Interpret them otherwise, Ebihara.

[outermirrors]

Do we need to have the argument of you can't tell me what to think again? I thought you disliked redundant conversation.

[torrefied]

[... Well played, Ebihara.]

Oh, so you are capable of holding a thought in your head for more than five seconds? That's encouraging.