fourth; video (trouble seldom sees what she leaves behind, there's a typhoon blowin')

[bekommen]

[Oddly enough, this broadcast doesn't seem to have anything wrong with it - just a video feed of Nick sitting slouched at Delight's bar with a half-empty glass in front of her, and it's clear from the slur of her words that it wasn't her first.]

Hey! Hadriel. All'a you. Listen, I got somethin' to say, if y'all can take five seconds to quit your shitposting and listen to someone else for a change.

[She pauses to take a sip of her drink and grins sharply into the camera.]

Shitposting - that's what you kids these days are callin' it, right? [She laughs.] See, Chris? Even Grandma here can pick up on the new hip lingo sometimes!

[There's something dark and unfriendly in her words, despite the too-tight smile stretched across her face. Nick waves her hand, a silent whatever. That isn't what she really wants to say.]

The point, dear Hadriel, is this: I hate you. All'a you. Yeah, Emily, that's right - you ain't anythin' special! 'Cause I hate everyone here. Y'all are the single worst thing that's ever happened to me, and believe me, that a fuckin' accomplishment and a half.

[Nick pauses again to take another drink, expression sharpening as the grin fades from her face.]

See, I thought the worst thing that ever happened to me was my dad dyin' when I was a kid. Shit, did that ever suck beyond the tellin' of it. And then, y'know, I thought havin' to live with my shitball mother for the next ten years, that was at least as bad, if not worse. But hey, I survived that. I had one friend in that shithole town I grew up in, an' we both survived it, together, an' we left that shithole town, together, and then after a buncha years of stickin' together in the city, you know what that fucker did?

[She laughs, a high-pitched, hysterical sound that's anything but funny.]

He fuckin' friend-broke up with me! Can you believe that shit? Man. Surely that was the worst thing to ever happen to me, right? But no - wait, it gets better.

[She leans in to the camera and drops her voice, conspiratorial, like she's divulging a secret - which she is.]

So I went on one of those great American roadtrips, right? And I ended up in fucking Canada. And hey, fuck Canada - right Chris? Because in fuckin' Canada, that's where I Became a Nightbane.

[Nick pulls both hands up for the camera in a silent, sarcastic ta-da gesture.]

That's right! Uh, what's your name - Dean, wasn't it? Yeah. Y'ain't gotta go crawlin' through the caves to find a monster, 'cause guess what? [She points at herself.] I'm sittin' right the fuck here.

[The grin reappears on her face, looking more like an angry baring of her teeth than a proper smile.]

So congratu-fuckin'-lations, Hadriel - that is what all you beat out for the honor of bein' the absolute fuckin' worst thing that's ever happened to me. Give yourselves a big fuckin' pat on the back. Cheers.

[Nick raises her glass in a mock-toast and throws back the rest of her drink, then reaches over to kill the feed. She'll definitely regret this in the morning, if not sooner.]

Comments

[bekommen]

[Well, that's. Unexpected.]

The fuck are you sorry about?

[casperdisaster]

that it's so bad here for you.

[bekommen]

It's bad everywhere.

[She didn't expect sympathy, and she doesn't know what to do with it now that it's been given.]

[casperdisaster]

[this is what you get for complaining loudly and in public, Nick. Eventually a bleeding heart will hear you.]

then i'm extra sorry. everyone should have a place where things aren't bad.

[bekommen]

Yeah, well - should doesn't mean it's ever actually gonna be, y'know? Wish in one hand, spit in the other.

[casperdisaster]

that sounds gross

[bekommen]

Not literally. Jesus.

[casperdisaster]

you never know! i bet some people would literally do that. in fact i can totally name at least one guy.

[bekommen]

That's really fuckin' dumb. Who would seriously be that fuckin' stupid?

[casperdisaster]

his name was kavinsky and he was a real douche.

[bekommen]

Well, if he's that dumb then yeah, I ain't surprised if he's a douche.

[casperdisaster]

past tense but yeah

i mean i also overthink some of those sayings.

[bekommen]

Past tense as in what, he's dead?

[casperdisaster]

oh yeah. super dead. went out with a bang.

[bekommen]

That's kinda shitty.

[casperdisaster]

well yeah

like no one should die like that

no one should die at all really except like

old people, peacefully, who have made peace with the world and all that.

i dunno i never really thought much about it at the time, linear existence and me weren't really a thing and i was more worried about someone else.

[bekommen]

... What do you mean, linear existence wasn't a thing?

[She's wayyyy too drunk for this.]

[casperdisaster]

[It doesn't get any better with sobriety, unfortunately]

like

when i died i stopped existing in one particular time?

i was in all times, like when you shine white light through a prism and it splits into different colors. fragmented.

it was a matter of finding the right one.

[bekommen]

That sounds really fucked up, man. And confusing.

[casperdisaster]

at the time it wasn't

guess understanding was a byproduct of being dead too