fourth; video (trouble seldom sees what she leaves behind, there's a typhoon blowin')

[bekommen]

[Oddly enough, this broadcast doesn't seem to have anything wrong with it - just a video feed of Nick sitting slouched at Delight's bar with a half-empty glass in front of her, and it's clear from the slur of her words that it wasn't her first.]

Hey! Hadriel. All'a you. Listen, I got somethin' to say, if y'all can take five seconds to quit your shitposting and listen to someone else for a change.

[She pauses to take a sip of her drink and grins sharply into the camera.]

Shitposting - that's what you kids these days are callin' it, right? [She laughs.] See, Chris? Even Grandma here can pick up on the new hip lingo sometimes!

[There's something dark and unfriendly in her words, despite the too-tight smile stretched across her face. Nick waves her hand, a silent whatever. That isn't what she really wants to say.]

The point, dear Hadriel, is this: I hate you. All'a you. Yeah, Emily, that's right - you ain't anythin' special! 'Cause I hate everyone here. Y'all are the single worst thing that's ever happened to me, and believe me, that a fuckin' accomplishment and a half.

[Nick pauses again to take another drink, expression sharpening as the grin fades from her face.]

See, I thought the worst thing that ever happened to me was my dad dyin' when I was a kid. Shit, did that ever suck beyond the tellin' of it. And then, y'know, I thought havin' to live with my shitball mother for the next ten years, that was at least as bad, if not worse. But hey, I survived that. I had one friend in that shithole town I grew up in, an' we both survived it, together, an' we left that shithole town, together, and then after a buncha years of stickin' together in the city, you know what that fucker did?

[She laughs, a high-pitched, hysterical sound that's anything but funny.]

He fuckin' friend-broke up with me! Can you believe that shit? Man. Surely that was the worst thing to ever happen to me, right? But no - wait, it gets better.

[She leans in to the camera and drops her voice, conspiratorial, like she's divulging a secret - which she is.]

So I went on one of those great American roadtrips, right? And I ended up in fucking Canada. And hey, fuck Canada - right Chris? Because in fuckin' Canada, that's where I Became a Nightbane.

[Nick pulls both hands up for the camera in a silent, sarcastic ta-da gesture.]

That's right! Uh, what's your name - Dean, wasn't it? Yeah. Y'ain't gotta go crawlin' through the caves to find a monster, 'cause guess what? [She points at herself.] I'm sittin' right the fuck here.

[The grin reappears on her face, looking more like an angry baring of her teeth than a proper smile.]

So congratu-fuckin'-lations, Hadriel - that is what all you beat out for the honor of bein' the absolute fuckin' worst thing that's ever happened to me. Give yourselves a big fuckin' pat on the back. Cheers.

[Nick raises her glass in a mock-toast and throws back the rest of her drink, then reaches over to kill the feed. She'll definitely regret this in the morning, if not sooner.]

Comments

[bekommen]

[Nick leans in toward the camera with definite interest.]

OK, fine. How do you make them look "normal," then? [With finger quotes, because what does normal even mean anymore.] You're not a Nightbane too, are you?

[All the other Nightbane she's ever met have only been able to change forms entirely, not alter one aspect of their appearance.]

[corundum]

I'm not a Nightbane. We don't even have those where I'm from.

[But she's definitely curious about what exactly they are.]

And short answer's that it's just like any other supernatural power something non-human has. It works because it works.

[bekommen]

Yeah, I didn't think so. The eye thing - it's too subtle.

[And it's not so much that she misses being around other Nightbane - she barely got to know the group that had gathered in Vancouver - but it was nice for a while to not feel quite so alone.]

So ... what are you? If you're not human or Nightbane. I'd guess, but it seems like there's a pretty big pool to choose from.

[Private]

[corundum]

Nightbane are the flashy types?

[That's interesting, and she wants to learn more. She knows a lot about the types of creatures in her world, so anything new is automatically interesting on top of knowledge always being useful.

She considers a few seconds how to answer the question she knew was coming, because at this point it's just a weighing of risk versus reward. The risk, she feels, is low, but she doesn't necessarily want everything completely public without some control over the information.

So she turns the feed to private, because she's not concerned about anyone Nick might tell but she'd rather not have everyone on this post able to see her exact answer.]

I'm a few things. I was human, I am a witch.

[You don't lose that once you've got it, even if it's not exactly a species.]

I'm also a demon.

[same, though i think it already was]

[bekommen]

Nightbane are ... I dunno, your whole body changes. It's called Morphus, and it's pretty hard to miss. A guy I knew in Vancouver, Graham, his looked like a giant puppy dog, which suited him, I guess. The Nightbane who attacked me the first time I changed looked like - I dunno, somethin' out of a nightmare. It had a ton of piercings and it was oozing blood all over its face.

[And that memory is enough to send a full shiver down her spine.

A witch and a demon, though ... that sounds like a pretty heavy-duty combo.]

So you're a real witch, not like some made-for-TV bullshit? Is that how you got to be a demon?

[okay super ultra mega double-dog-dare private then]

[corundum]

[Huh. There are some creatures in her world that go through huge appearance changes, including some that can shift from that form to human-looking and back, but it's really strange for them all to look different.]

There's a pretty huge difference between a puppy and a leprosy victim. What do you look like when you change?

[She laughs a little at that, not necessarily humorously but also not unkindly.]

Some witches are actually a lot like the made-for-TV bullshit, but yeah. There's a few ways to become a witch, and one of them involves selling your soul to a demon.

[She shrugs, casually.]

I was a young woman in the 1300s when the Black Plague hit. Seemed like a really good deal at the time.

[She figures that's a pretty sympathetic sounding story for why she'd sell her soul. It's also actually the truth.]

[perfect]

[bekommen]

... A doll. Not like a Barbie or anything, one of those antique dolls that look like they'll break if you look at 'em hard enough.

[And doesn't she understand the inherent irony, that she changes into something inhumanly beautiful that should be breakable but isn't. It's entirely too keen a twisted reflection of what she actually is, and she hates it.

Nick hasn't given much thought to the existence of souls since she was a very small child, and the idea of souls being something real, something that can be used as currency, gives her a long moment's pause.]

Damn. So I guess that makes you older than everyone else here, huh?

[No judgment, though. If selling your soul is what it takes to survive something like the Black Plague, good for Ruby for doing what was necessary.]

[corundum]

[That sounds more than a little intriguing, and Ruby's next comment is about as genuine as her compliments get.]

That sounds pretty awesome, actually.

[She smiles, letting a hint of danger--not at Nick, but just in general--to show in the expression.]

More than you'd think. I spent awhile on a plane where time passed differently, so I'm closer to eighty-thousand than seven-hundred.

[So yes. Older than almost everyone, though she knows Castiel has her beat and maybe there are others like him she doesn't know of yet.]

[bekommen]

[Nick laughs weakly, shaking her head.]

Yeah, you'd think so. But it's really not. I mean, I had problems before, too, but they were pretty normal - shit jobs, stupid people. Not turning into an actual monster and gettin' chased around by other monsters.

[The idea of living for thousands and thousands of years is just too absurd for Nick to wrap her mind around sober, much less this drunk.]

Jesus. How do you stand living for that long? I mean, I'm basically gonna live forever now, and it makes me sick to think about.

[corundum]

Better than being human and chased around by monsters though, right?

[It's sort of a joke, but she means it. She's seen what happens to humans that tangle with monsters, after all.

The second question earns a shrug, and it has an easy answer.]

You find things worth it. Causes, goals, things that matter to you; they don't have to be anything amazing, just something worth it.

[bekommen]

[Nick shrugs in response to the semi-joke. There's a note of truth to what Ruby says, though; if she weren't a Nightbane, Nick would be laughably ill-equipped to defend herself against the other creatures who inhabit the city's surrounding areas.]

How do you figure out what's worth it?

[That has always been Nick's problem - one of them, at least - she doesn't have any long-term goals for which to strive. Growing up internalizing the messages she heard from her mother and other townspeople about how worthless she was and how she'd never amount to anything meant she never put forth the effort toward anything bigger than satisfying her immediate needs.]

[corundum]

It doesn't have to be some grand plan or moral quest. One woman I knew who became a witch decided she wanted to own her own jewels, like noblewomen had. Another wanted to get out of England and see Morocco. There was a demon I met whose job was to make deals for souls, but he honestly just liked to have a fancy house and his favorite scotch.

[All of that is true, though she does think Crowley has more ambition than that. But the little goals are still goals.]

Point is, you have the time and the power, so why shouldn't you make the most of it?

[bekommen]

That all sounds kinda clichéd, actually. Ain't that the kinda stuff people always say they'd sell their soul for?

[Staying alive in the face of almost-certain death seems downright sensible in comparison.]

I guess you're right ... just gotta figure out what "the most" is first.

[corundum]

People will sell their soul for anything. Some have great reasons, others...

[Well. She knows of some really, really stupid deals.]

You'll figure it out. You have all the time in the world, after all.

[Ha, immortal jokes.]

[bekommen]

[Nick laughs weakly.]

Yeah, especially here, right? Nothing but time, unless these fuckers decide to get tired of us.

[She puffs out a heavy breath.]

Maybe I need to take up a hobby.