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[kickingand]

[ Dean is making this brief for a variety of reasons. But he sadly doesn't care enough to make this anything but video - audio and text just seem like far too much effort, and so Dean can be seen boozing it up with a half empty bottle of whiskey he received from the gods.

Someone's been drunk a lot lately.

Big fuckin' deal. ]

So, I kind of happen to have an angel buddy who's in need of a lay. Anyone want to lend a hand?

Comments

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[knifecollecting]

I'm never gonna just sit around and wait for the men to come back.

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[kickingand]

This doesn't have shit to do with the men, I don't want you dying again.

[ There you go. Just. Straight up. ]

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[knifecollecting]

[Her expression softens then and she sighs.]

People come back here. I'm not goin' anywhere, Dean. And I can be careful.

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[kickingand]

I'm not saying you can't be careful, but careful doesn't mean not dead.

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[knifecollecting]

You can't keep me locked away, Dean.

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[kickingand]

But I can keep you safe. [ There's a certain amount of pleading to it - a desperate quality that even Dean can't hold back on. Because while he knows he can't truly keep her safe, he damn well is gunning for the opportunity to not fuck it up all over again. ]

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[knifecollecting]

[She sighs quietly, giving the phone a soft look. She knows he still, somehow, blames himself. She's tried to fix that, but it's not working.]

And the way to do that isn't just not letting me do anything, Dean. I deserve more, right?

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[kickingand]

[ That's not fair, not in the slightest. At least.. Dean doesn't think so; he's trying so damn hard to do some good and all he knows is that it isn't working. It isn't enough. It keeps being not enough and grasping at straws is a pitiful attempt to keep a hold on a situation he has no control over. ]

You deserve everything you lost.

[ Everything I took away from you. ]

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[knifecollecting]

[It was a little dirty. She feels a little bad for it.]

I told you, Dean. I don't regret it. And I get a chance here, right? For more.

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[kickingand]

[ Dean lifts a hand and scrubs his face, frustrated, well aware that he was beat before this conversation started but unable to back the hell down. ]

For more living. That means keeping you that way.

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[knifecollecting]

And I can't really live if I'm always locked up.

[Dean, you have to see the logic in this. Right? ]

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[kickingand]

[ But why do you have to bring logic into it? ]

I'm thinkin' as long as we keep you with a heartbeat--

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[knifecollecting]

[She's trying to figure out how to make him understand...Obviously logic isn't working either.]

Dean, you can't be there all the time.

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[kickingand]

[ Logic + Dean = ???

But no really, he's just struggling with this, trying his hardest to fight a battle he already knows he should be losing. ]

Doesn't mean I can't try.

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[knifecollecting]

[She sighs quietly.]

And what about what you need? You can't just watch me constantly.

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[kickingand]

[ GODDAMMIT NOT YOU TOO. ]

I'm not the point here, Jo- and it won't just be me.

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[knifecollecting]

[Yes, her too. Even without Castiel's worry she had worried about Dean.]

You can't make Sam and Castiel part of this too. They have lives.

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[kickingand]

They're already a part of it.

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[knifecollecting]

They have other things to do, you can't make them babysit me because you think I still need it.

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[kickingand]

You're making it sound like they're suddenly working a nine-to-five in this place.

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[knifecollecting]

We all have jobs here, right? Survival. [She shakes her head.]

But they have other things to do too.

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[kickingand]

Like what, enjoying their coffee breaks? I'm not saying they need to keep an eye on you, but they're not exactly fightin' the apocalypse, here.

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[knifecollecting]

No one needs to keep an eye on me, so everything'll be fine. [Hah, Dean said it so she'll just reaffirm it.]

Especially if there's no apocalypse here.

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[kickingand]

Not right now there isn't.

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[knifecollecting]

So don't burn us all out on each other before that happens. [She laughs. As if any of them would be sick of Jo at this point...]