fifth. text (backdated to the 10th).

[torrefied]

[Shortly after it becomes apparent that the newest crop of arrivals has started trickling in, Mello sends the following network-wide message:]

Those of you who have just arrived would do well to read this. (Attachment: README.txt)

Those of you who aren't new will no doubt have commentary to add, since it's typically known that those who are unable to do things themselves tend to have no trouble criticizing those who can and do.

[Mello's not bitter. YOU'RE bitter.]

Comments

[text]

[thechoiceisyours]

While I totally appreciate the emoji shoutout despite the caveat, this program is probably more practical to include. Or both, I guess.

[He wouldn't have even bothered with responding and mentioning it--since it feels self-congratulatory--if it weren't that he'd feel really guilty if a newbie needed to use it and didn't know it exists.

Also he's just straight up ignoring the last paragraph of Mello's post.]

[text]

[torrefied]

[Unfortunately, Mello is still salty about - well, pretty much everything, have you met him.]

If only someone had the forethought to ask for suggestions of points to include in this document before it was written.

Oh, wait.

[text]

[thechoiceisyours]

[On the opposite end of the spectrum, Chris has recently hit a zen state of not giving a fuck combined with being pleased about some of his friends showing up and so is utterly unbothered.]

Yeah yeah you also told me you remembered everything yourself already.

Besides it takes like two minutes to edit in a download link.

Text

[solvethepuzzle]

[Yeah. He's doing this.]

Text

[torrefied]

[The only reason Mello doesn't reply with a middle finger emoji is because he considers emojis a form of communication beneath his intelligence.]

Very funny.

Text

[solvethepuzzle]

[That Near is using them proves that Mello is wrong about this "beneath his intelligence" thing. Of course.

[Naturally, he only has this app for when he feels childishly passive-aggressive and for teasing Mello. So it is serving its purpose.]

I am simply congratulating you on a job well done. [They both know what he's doing. That's what makes it fun.]

[text]

[crowboy]

thats real helpful thanks

it might be a good idea to mention that the phones do voice to text I didn't know they could do that when I showed up but its real useful if you can't spell so good

[text]

[torrefied]

It might have been a good idea to mention that when I asked what to include the first time.

Re: [text]

[crowboy]

hard for me to do that when I didn't know about it til after you asked for stuff

I mean if you can't put it in there I'm sure it ain't a big deal I'm just trying to be helpful

text

[missionfail]

H OW DO I
OPEN IT

text

[torrefied]

[jfc why this]

Click on the link to the attachment.

Text

[ushahin]

It seems to cover everything, but the ending is a bit...resigned in tone.

text

[torrefied]

I wasn't actually aiming to establish a writer's workshop.

text

[beautyis]

YOU DID A GOOD JOB WRITING THIS! VERY INFORMATIVE. I LEARNED A LOT! THANK YOU!

text

[torrefied]

[It's probably a sad statement that Mello's initial thought is that this must be some kind of hidden criticism.]

Happy to help. I take it you're new?

| text.

[meatbrained]

Thanks. This was really useful.

( he had the talk from Emily, but seeing things written down is useful. it helps him accept all of the information he's had rambled at him. )

| text.

[torrefied]

[Mello just isn't sure how to take being thanked for his work - it's entirely unexpected.]

So you're new here, I take it?

text;

[robobees]

starting off by saying 'you're not supposed to be here', as true as it might be, isn't exactly the greatest opener when it comes to informing newbies of their predicament.
maybe think about rewording it? just a little?

( HI MELLO. THIS IS GOING TO GO VERY WELL. )

text;

[torrefied]

[Oh my godddddd why this.]

OK. I've thought about it.

[text]

[illegally]

gimme a summary im not readin all that

[text]

[torrefied]

[Well, OK, if you insist.]

You're here. It's shitty. Get used to it.

text

[skelebro]

might wanna include an instruction manual for the phones.
not everyone knows how to use em.

text

[torrefied]

I highlighted the phones' features and capabilities. If people can't figure out how to use it at least as much as accessing the document, I don't think having a second document of instructions is going to be of any use.

text.

[edibles]

Does this make anyone feel better?

text.

[torrefied]

I haven't issued a reader satisfaction survey.