Warrick Chopper (
purpleknee) wrote in
hadriel2016-11-04 03:28 pm
Entry tags:
[video - for the good of all of us (except the ones who are dead).]
Oh Abeegail, what am I to do? I need to help five people and fill them with hope so I can get something that makes me feel like I have a heart again! Because I don't have a heart inside my body, which apparently means far more to me than it does for most of the people in this stupid cave. Hmn? What's that Beeatrice, this trade is basically impossible for me without the thing I'm trading for? Right you are! How smart, and how quickly you realized it, you smart little bee.
[His faux enthusiasm drops and he glares flatly at the camera.]
Come help a witch help you to help himself help us all. I have healing magic and a temper. If you think this is cheating, I don't want to hear it, and I only want things that will actually help. I'm serious, I'm trying to be good, here.
...Oh, and it goes against everything else I'm trying to do here, but I should let you know that the bees I found can't make honey. Maybe if you tell Delight or someone they can, she'll believe you and the copies will be able to, I don't know. I don't really care.
[He's screwed.]
[His faux enthusiasm drops and he glares flatly at the camera.]
Come help a witch help you to help himself help us all. I have healing magic and a temper. If you think this is cheating, I don't want to hear it, and I only want things that will actually help. I'm serious, I'm trying to be good, here.
...Oh, and it goes against everything else I'm trying to do here, but I should let you know that the bees I found can't make honey. Maybe if you tell Delight or someone they can, she'll believe you and the copies will be able to, I don't know. I don't really care.
[He's screwed.]

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Yeah, well.
[Not really. Still, it just seems like a bad idea to share too much information. Somehow. Somehow.]
It isn't like you haven't been without surprises of your own. You're sick, you know that?
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Generally, he doesn't like it when things end too easily. It's not as much fun. This is a bit of a special case, though.]
Are you going to return it or not?
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Where did you get this?
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[Of course he might not have bought it in his world by traditional means - Nekozawa was always willing to trade for whatever he might need - but there's no point in getting into that. He reaches up, still waiting.]
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[Disappointing... His hand pauses again, like that news makes him reconsider, but after a beat he taps the vita into Sato's palm and jerks back to keep his arms out of range.]
Are there any others? You can play some of those games with more than one person, can't you? [Can he steal one from someone who won't threaten to kill him all the time, basically...]
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I don't know of any others. And you'd need someone to use the phone network to let them connect.
[It's at about that point that something pulls the Vita out of Warrick's hand, leaving it floating in midair for a moment before being dropped in Sato's hand.
That same monster as before, a couple feet taller than Sato himself and with reach to match, is invisible without that surge of delighted murderous intent behind it. Unseen, it stands off to the side again now that its work is done.]
I hope you looked after it.
[Sato frowns, checking for new scratches.]
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Of course I did! I didn't just steal it to get back at you. I was careful. Breaking it wouldn't do me any good.
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You didn't? It's good to know I'm not the only one who appreciates a good game.
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[He narrows his eyes at that hand. Fuckin...stop...]
I mostly played the diva one.
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Spelunker is a classic of its time.
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[Warrick also needs to stop. Sassing is inevitable, though.]
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Ow! What the hell is wrong with you? [On the bright side, digging the machete out of himself means that Sato can't just go and get it. Ugh!!! Now he has to heal himself, this man is such a waste on his magical resources.] I gave it back, you creep!
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How long did it take you to return it? I think I'm owed compensation.
[Sato's 'black ghost' shimmers very faintly into visibility, semi-translucent for a moment before becoming completely opaque as it crouches down like an Olympic runner waiting for the starter pistol -- or in this case, getting ready to launch itself up into the air like a dog after a green, meaty frisbee.]
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...Then again, Fred kicked everyone's ass except Selva's, and she hadn't given him a fair chance.]
It was an eye for an eye.
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[Get ready to move, Warrick, because the creature can really jump, reaching up with one clawed hand to try pulling him out of the air. Sato, on the other hand, is still cradling his precious Vita in one hand, not too inclined to enter an actual fight himself.]
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[Okay. Okay, some kind of shield to separate them, that would be good. Even with as hazy as it is.]
I owe you much worse, you old codger!
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Sato himself just keeps smiling.]
Maybe next time you'll follow through on that!
[He says, egging Warrick on. In the meantime though, his precious game console... he'd rather not have it get broken or stolen again in the kerfuffle, so it's about time for him to turn to leave and let the ghost keep Warrick busy. On the loosest of orders, the thing speaks on its own: an even more staticy, burbling version of Sato's own voice, parroting the opening of just about any fighting game arcade mode:]
F̪̰͍̞̩i̝̻̲̻͓͔͔̰̳g̪̙̝͎͎ͅh̥͚͔t̟̫̹͕!̣͎̝̥̰̞̬̼̲
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I swear, if you try to do a goddamn fatality on me --
[He is so, so sick of your shit, Sato... Man, how was he supposed to fight this thing, though? Emma had used her vorpal blade, Ozma had hugged the frickin' thing, but him? He's useless unless he can bleed on it to death. He readies the machete anyway, shield coming up so he's fighting sword and board, and curses himself for how he's literally going through dumb fighting game moves in his head to see if that can help him stay alive in this. Bait it out first...]
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Fortunately, Sato's extremely average in his ability to keep his IBM out, and that means that by now, time is on Warrick's side. Just have to lame it out like it's Cross Tekken and run the clock down until the thing disintegrates again.
It's hard to say what it's thinking when it doesn't even have a face, but it doesn't take any work to bait it out, leaping (literally) at the chance to go for Warrick again with a slash of its claws.]
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He goes for its elbow to see if that's an easier cut, wondering if it follows the same principles as human anatomy despite it not having bones to catch a blade on to begin with. Unfortunately, this focus on one arm does leave most of his body open for an answer.]
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But as before, it doesn't seem to bother the thing, and before the arm even has a chance to pull back together there's enough of an opening for it to grab Warrick's front, burying claws in and dragging him back down to earth with it, slamming him into the ground.]
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AHHH!
[The breath goes out of him and there's a gross sort of crunching noise when he hits the ground. He struggles to gasp, but at least he can tell he doesn't have any bones jammed into his lungs or any other organs they shouldn't be in, and his magic is already working away at setting everything to rights. Warrick scrambles blindly for the machete once he's confident in an arm, but until he can get that, all he can do is fight off attacks with some keep-away kicks. It's kind of pathetic, but he's trying to be scrappy, okay!!! The machete is taken up like Warrick's a stereotypical masked serial killer, blade down, once he finds it, and he starts trying to stab into the creature with all his strength.
He's...not used to machetes.]
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[The thing laughs, toothed maw cracking open again. Any initial satisfaction is likely to fade as long bandage-y strips and blobs pull the severed arm back together. It can be stabbed, but as before, the thing doesn't seem to have bones or organs or anything to really damaged.
But it is starting to fall apart again, and the edges of the stab wound don't come back together as well as the arm did, fraying into dribbles of blackness. That doesn't stop it from returning the favor and slicing into the machete-wielding arm with sharp claws, continuing to do its best to maul Warrick even as it starts to dissolve.]
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At least he would fully heal, soon. He could do that.
God, he really misses Emma.]