[video - for the good of all of us (except the ones who are dead).]

[purpleknee]

Oh Abeegail, what am I to do? I need to help five people and fill them with hope so I can get something that makes me feel like I have a heart again! Because I don't have a heart inside my body, which apparently means far more to me than it does for most of the people in this stupid cave. Hmn? What's that Beeatrice, this trade is basically impossible for me without the thing I'm trading for? Right you are! How smart, and how quickly you realized it, you smart little bee.

[His faux enthusiasm drops and he glares flatly at the camera.]

Come help a witch help you to help himself help us all. I have healing magic and a temper. If you think this is cheating, I don't want to hear it, and I only want things that will actually help. I'm serious, I'm trying to be good, here.

...Oh, and it goes against everything else I'm trying to do here, but I should let you know that the bees I found can't make honey. Maybe if you tell Delight or someone they can, she'll believe you and the copies will be able to, I don't know. I don't really care.

[He's screwed.]

Comments

text

[oversear]

We have our ways. Although I am familiar enough with fairytales to know that you are going about this the wrong way. Shouldn't the acts of Hope be natural? I doubt anyone will admit that they are despairing and need help.

text

[purpleknee]

Shame it's acts of Warrick on Hope's behalf.

[hardy har har]

I can't help that people are idiots any more than I can help idiotic people that don't tell me how to help.

text LMAO whoops i totally capitalized that without meaning to /sob

[oversear]

Hah.

Ever heard of the expression "you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar". Perhaps you should implement it.

HE WOULD HAVE MADE THE STUPID JOKE EITHER WAY

[purpleknee]

Fresh out of honey until this deal is done I'm afraid.

warrick u so corny

[oversear]

I'm sure you have it in you. Deep down.

[purpleknee]

Maybe that counts enough as hope that this conversation hasn't completely wasted my time.

[oversear]

Perhaps I was hoping for a friend.

[purpleknee]

[fffffffff]

I would be an odd choice for that.

[oversear]

[ He was screwing with him, but he made himself realize he's been a little lonely recently. He's honestly curious now. ]

And why is that? You appear to have a sense of humour and wit. Perhaps a little prickly but otherwise good for companionship.

[purpleknee]

[Look, he's...really desperate to inspire hope.]

My name is Warrick Chopper. The prickly thing comes and goes.

[oversear]

My name is Armand. Nice to meet you.

And what are you like without the thorns and barbs?

[purpleknee]

Less thorny and barby I guess.

[He isn't...quite sure how to answer that. It was a lot easier to extol his virtues the first time he was wicked, before he knew the fear of becoming something else. Now he just felt kinda gross. He hates everything, including himself. So he deflects a bit to his interests, rather than his character.]

I like books and dogs. There aren't many good books here but I know there is at least one good dog. Fire's pretty cool, but I'm less likely to use it when I'm in control. Right now I would burn three buildings for one entertaining book.

[oversear]

Books and dogs are very respectable. I spent most of my time with films and recordings, but I understand the appeal of books.

[ He hesitates. He happens to have a book. A very damning book. Filled with crimes that paint him in a horrible light. But he could surely rip out that one particular page. ]

Perhaps we can make an exchange. No burning buildings and I will lend you the book that is in my possession.

[purpleknee]

[...!]

What kind of book?

[oversear]

A cautionary tale. About the Undead. Vampires.

[purpleknee]

[Hmmmn.]

I've never read about that sort of thing before. People in Oz didn't really die until the last several years, so the undead wasn't really something to write about.

[oversear]

[ Oz? That was weird. It might explain why this man is green, however. ]

It's a morbidly fascinating read. The protagonist weaves his story well.

Oz is where you are from? How did they escape death?

[purpleknee]

Then I think that's a fair trade.

[Especially since he was refusing himself the pleasure or arson already, while on this mission.]

Our beloved princess Ozma had a spell that kept everyone healthy and happy. When she disappeared, her blessing did, too.

[oversear]

Excellent.

[ Armand is not fond of the idea of someone unstable potentially setting everything ablaze while he daylight sleeps. ]

A powerful sorceress, then. Is this the true Oz you speak of?

[purpleknee]

She isn't a sorceress, she's a fairy child. Except when she isn't a child sometimes? It's complicated.

[When your princess isn't only genderqueer, but agequeer...]

If by true Oz you mean the one the Dorothies visit, then yes.

[oversear]

I see. I have a hard time imagining the spectrum of magic so I will take your word for it.

[ Armand's so basic. ]

Yes, that is the one I mean. Have you met Dorothy?

[purpleknee]

[It doesn't help that Oz has specific titles.]

There's been more than one. I've been to one of their funerals but the Dorothy I met was actually an Emma. I like her a lot more than the Dorothies.

[oversear]

I see. So, Emma went in place of a Dorothy. Were you lovers?

[purpleknee]

[SPITS]

EXCUSE YOU THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS

[oversear]

[ Shrug. Just finding out about his new bro. ]

Apologies. I did not think it was a sensitive subject.