[video - for the good of all of us (except the ones who are dead).]

[purpleknee]

Oh Abeegail, what am I to do? I need to help five people and fill them with hope so I can get something that makes me feel like I have a heart again! Because I don't have a heart inside my body, which apparently means far more to me than it does for most of the people in this stupid cave. Hmn? What's that Beeatrice, this trade is basically impossible for me without the thing I'm trading for? Right you are! How smart, and how quickly you realized it, you smart little bee.

[His faux enthusiasm drops and he glares flatly at the camera.]

Come help a witch help you to help himself help us all. I have healing magic and a temper. If you think this is cheating, I don't want to hear it, and I only want things that will actually help. I'm serious, I'm trying to be good, here.

...Oh, and it goes against everything else I'm trying to do here, but I should let you know that the bees I found can't make honey. Maybe if you tell Delight or someone they can, she'll believe you and the copies will be able to, I don't know. I don't really care.

[He's screwed.]

Comments

[muscovy]

If you're not from Earth and look weird you aren't a proper human.

Do you want to try to insert my heart? If not you should give it back, yes?

[purpleknee]

[WHAT THE FUCK!!! This is literally racism.]

It means I'm not an Earthling, you little monster. I'm an Ozite human!

[And no! He raises the heart up high. He's already six feet tall, so... Extreme keep-away.]

I wouldn't put this inside me even if the hole in my chest was still open. That's disgusting! And you're still being incredibly rude.

[muscovy]

I'm not a monster. I'm a nation.

...Are all Ozites green?

But hearts belong in the chest. You can't put them anywhere else and expect that they still work for you.

[purpleknee]

A bad nation-child.

[Bad Muscovy!! Warrick scowls harder.]

I just said my sister is purple. [Which isn't beige-brown range either.] My heart is different than yours and it was removed with magic. It can work pretty much however it wants.

[muscovy]

Well, this one only works if it is in the proper place, so if you don't plan on putting it where a heart should be, you will give it back to me, yes?

[Okay, rephrasing.] Do all Ozites have silly colours?

[purpleknee]

No, not all Ozites are silly colors.

[He has to make this human issue clear while he considers whether to give the heart back or not. He knows he should, and he'd never wish heart issues on anyone even if he thinks everyone in this cave needs to realize what the heck is up with him, but...]

You are just such a stubborn brat.

[warrick]

[muscovy]

It would be silly to change what I'm saying when it is right, yes?

[Watching his heart now. He's pretty sure that it would hurt if Warrick decided to give it a squeeze, or something like that.]

[purpleknee]

You're not right! I was human! My lack of humanity now is just a dumb technicality!

[muscovy]

...So you were a human with a silly skin color [he'll let it pass with that qualifier] until you lost your heart?

[purpleknee]

[Narrows eyes...]

It's not that silly, but yes.

[muscovy]

Why didn't you just die?

[That's what humans normally do when their hearts are removed from their bodies, after all.]

[purpleknee]

[WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK]

You can't just ask people why they're not dead like that!

[jfc... But he's kinda tired of holding this heart up that high, so he sighs and offers it out to Muscovy.]

It made a hole in my chest and I healed it. If I wasn't a mender, I probably would have died. Don't know how the old witch of the west survived it. Must have been Ozma's spell.

[muscovy]

[He'll take it and quickly returns it to it's correct place.]

It is a good way of asking because it is clear. If you use too many euphemisms, people will just get confused, yes?

...So you're the new witch of the West now?

[purpleknee]

You could have done without the "just", at least!

[That was just extra rude... Warrick places his hands on his hips, glaring down at Muscovy.]

Yes, witch or warlock. I'm very important.

[muscovy]

But you aren't in the west anymore.

[Nor are they in the east.]

You're in Hadriel.

[purpleknee]

[eyetwitch]

I realize that, but it's still my title and responsibility. Do you have someone I can call to extract you?

[muscovy]

Why would you want to do that?

[purpleknee]

Because you're wretched and annoying.

[muscovy]

You are very mean and rude.

I tried to help you, yes?

[purpleknee]

[ -- well. That's true. Not that it amounted to anything.]

And all you've done since then is call me a rude, inhuman liar.

[muscovy]

Just non-human.

Like me and Rey and Sans.

[purpleknee]

That's basically the s -- oh, you know Sans, too?

[He's still distractable...]

[muscovy]

He stands out, yes?

[He kind of assumes that 99% of the population of Hadriel know Sans.]

[purpleknee]

I guess so. Good thing he's only intolerable about a third of the time.

[Usually when Warrick was already being pissy and Sans just happened to disagree with him. Or announce his disappointment.]

Anyway, you still need to learn some manners.

[muscovy]

Maybe he's only intolerable to you because you're mean.

[He's found Sans quite easy to get along with, even though he can be annoyingly hard to motivate to do anything.]