hadriel | ONE ↬ video. ❚

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ONE ↬ video. ❚

[ Allison is standing in the middle of the orchard when she clicks on her phone, an odd-looking fruit in her hand. She thinks it's supposed to be something like an apple-peach-mango hybrid but she's not really sure. Which is part of why she's broadcasting: ]

Is everything in here edible? I really don't want to end up accidentally poisoning myself, but I also really want some fresh fruit. Considering this place has apparently brought in all sorts of crazy things, I wouldn't put a poisoned orchard past the people in power. [ She turns it over in her hand again and then finally shifts her attention to her phone. ] Also, I stumbled across a signed football back when everyone seemed to be getting things-- [ and thank god she didn't get something gory and awful ] --but I have no idea whose it is. It's definitely not mine. [ If she's going to support any sport, it's lacrosse, not football. ] I'm hoping someone here might either know who it belongs to or be able to stake claim on it.

[ She ends the feed with a pretty friendly smile, her attention shifting back to the fruit as she hits the end button. ]

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[ Being cool with and being caught off guard when one appears and is talking and smiling are two different things, but Allison tries really hard not to let her intense surprise show. ]

...right. That makes sense. [ She's trying really hard not to stare, too. Like, she's trying to look at him but she's trying desperately not to ogle. ] I guess there's probably a lot of vegetarians here, then?

[Sans is, frankly, deeply observant, and he can tell when he's acquirin' some weird looks. He takes it in stride. Always does. Still got himself braced for the inevitable questions of "how are you the way you are" and the like.]

Wouldn't know. I just hear people were turnin' into all kinds of nasty things a little while back. Somethin' in the meat.

Does this place ever get less weird? [ Not only is she going to be paranoid about stuff showing up in her apartment, she's now going to be extra cautious when eating. Fantastic. ]

Not really, nah. Sorry.

[Between the dragons, talking skeletons, and people pouring in outta nowhere...no. No, it does not.]

Not a real prime vacation spot, huh?

Not for me, no. [ Maybe for someone out there... ] What kinds of things were they turning into? And does that happen a lot?

Believe it was somethin' called a wendigo. I'd ask about the where-digos and why-digos, but presumably they weren't invited.

['Cause everyone loves a bit of wordplay to lighten things up.]

Weird stuff? Yep. Every few days. You kinda get used to it after a while.

[ Allison does actually let out a soft huff of amusement. ] Clever.

Great. [ Someday she'll stop being surprised by stuff like this. Someday. ] Is that why you're—? [ She gestures to her face with the fruit still in hand, hoping her tone isn't rude; she's genuinely curious. ] Did something happen?

[Aaaaaand there it is. Sans manages, somehow, to look reasonably offended despite not once shedding his grin. And also having a face comprised of presumably solid bone.]

Hey now. This is just my face.

[And his grin widens. Don't worry; he's been asked that question too many times to be offended for real.]

Name's Sans the skeleton.

[ Even though he seems pretty good-natured about it, Allison still feels a little bad. She even winces somewhat. ]

Sorry. It's just, you know, I'm not used to... people like you. [ God, that sounds even worse than just asking him straight out what's wrong with his face. ]

I'm Allison. The, uh, human.

Monsters?

[One supraorbital ridge glides upwards in the approximation of a lifted eyebrow, in a way that is distinctly, uh, un-bone-like. Considerably more pliable than a skull has any rights being. Thanks to that perma-grin, it might be kinda hard to gauge what he's actually thinkin' at this particular moment.]

Everyone's got an adjustment period, seems like. And hey, as a bonus, not a one of us plans on chewing your faces off like those things livin' in the caves. So there's always that.

I was thinking skeleton, actually. [ She's got firsthand experience with monsters that aren't really as scary, dangerous, and threatening as they're "supposed" to be. Her boyfriend, after all, is a werewolf.

The way his bone moves so freely, as if it were skin, is simultaneously unnerving and fascinating. But it definitely is difficult to tell what he's thinking, there's no denying that. ]

That's definitely a bonus. The fewer things trying to kill me, the better, no matter where I am.

Me and mine ain't like most of the other monsters you'll find down here. We're a whole lot funnier, for one.

[All right, so maybe Alphys can't really tell a bad joke to save her life, or at least without stammerin' so hard she'd spoil the punchline. But she can design fifty or so screaming robots in the blink of an eyesocket, and that's close enough.]

[ She smiles. ] Yeah, I noticed that. A good sense of humor can go a long way, too.

[ The idea of more talking skeletons made of oddly malleable bone running around isn't exactly her favorite idea, but she can adjust. This guy seems alright thus far, so she has no reason to think the others would be any worse. Based solely on what they are, of course. ]

See, you're speakin' my language. Everybody loves jokes.

[With the exception of most of the gods, but screw those guys anyway. They're most of them killjoys, unless they're Delight. Possibly Rage. He don't entertain anger enough to really be subject to whatever she might typically inspire, though he's pretty sure the reactions to his jokes have empowered her well enough. So that's, uh...nice.]

I'm pretty sure there's at least one person out there who doesn't, but I definitely haven't met them yet.

Eh. I mean, the gods ain't real fond of 'em. 'Cept for Delight. Delight's cool.

[Hilariously enough, that had been the one thing upon which he and Gren could agree. Delight bein' the sole redeemable god in the bunch.]

That's the one that owns the bar, right? I guess they'd probably be more on board with jokes if they gave the people here somewhere to hang out and drink.

Yeah, she's pretty great. Might be able to get me a trombone and everything.

[How might a skeleton play trombone? Magic, probably. He's got fantastic embouchure.]

[ Her eyebrows furrow and she tilts her head just slightly in confusion. ]

Why would you want a trombone?

Why d'you think?

[He's sure not gonna use it as an artsy centerpiece, that's for sure.]

As a gift for someone? [ It's not like he's got the lungs and lips to use it himself. Although he's able to talk... ]

What? A skeleton can't have great embouchure?

[He manages to look mock-offended, though the expression is pretty clearly exaggerated for comedic effect.]

I... I mean, I wouldn't think so, but then I also wouldn't think that a skeleton could talk, so what do I know? [ It still makes no sense, though. ]

You'd be surprised at what skeletons can do.

[He winks at her cheerily, as if to communicate that there's no harm done. She wouldn't be the first to make some undue assumptions regarding the capabilities of a monster, and he can almost guarantee she won't be the last.]

Yeah, I'm realizing that. [ Like winking. Winking shouldn't be a thing.

Still, she offers a bit of an apologetic smile. ] Good luck getting your trombone, though, I guess. If I were you I'd probably try to get something a little more useful, but to each their own, right?

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video | apologies for the delay!

nah no problem, i backtag indefinitely

awesome c:

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