hadriel | ONE ↬ video. ❚

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[ Allison is standing in the middle of the orchard when she clicks on her phone, an odd-looking fruit in her hand. She thinks it's supposed to be something like an apple-peach-mango hybrid but she's not really sure. Which is part of why she's broadcasting: ]

Is everything in here edible? I really don't want to end up accidentally poisoning myself, but I also really want some fresh fruit. Considering this place has apparently brought in all sorts of crazy things, I wouldn't put a poisoned orchard past the people in power. [ She turns it over in her hand again and then finally shifts her attention to her phone. ] Also, I stumbled across a signed football back when everyone seemed to be getting things-- [ and thank god she didn't get something gory and awful ] --but I have no idea whose it is. It's definitely not mine. [ If she's going to support any sport, it's lacrosse, not football. ] I'm hoping someone here might either know who it belongs to or be able to stake claim on it.

[ She ends the feed with a pretty friendly smile, her attention shifting back to the fruit as she hits the end button. ]

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[ Arya's face is solemn and guarded. Her demeanor isn't exactly suitable for someone her age, but that's always how she acts around strangers. Trust doesn't come naturally to her. ]

It shouldn't kill you. The gods here never like to do anything quick.

[ She says, with a hint of venom in her voice. ]

[ Allison's eyebrows furrow somewhat. ] That's not supposed to be comforting, is it? [ Although she's glad to know the fruit is safe. ]

[ Arya snorts. ]

Did you want me to lie to you? I can do that easily.

No, of course not. [ The truth is way more preferable; Allison hates being lied to. ] I guess I just didn't really know how to respond to that. Saying something like, "Oh, good!" didn't really seem like the right thing to say.

No one's seemed to get sick off of it yet.

[ Except for her, but... Everything makes her sick, actually, so that's a moot point. ]

Some people can't eat it - special diets and whatnot - but the people that can haven't seemed to complain.

[Hope you're cool with skeletons, Allison, 'cause there's one talkin' to you right now. Don't worry, he's friendly. He's even smilin' for you!]

Orchard's got fruit plenty for humans. Far as I know, no one's died from it yet. 'S the meat you gotta watch out for.

That's good to know. [ Although her interest is piqued: ] What kind of diets would make someone not eat fruit? [ It's only really after she asks that she realizes there could be any number of unknown species here that don't exist (to her knowledge) back home. Like vampires. ]

[ Being cool with and being caught off guard when one appears and is talking and smiling are two different things, but Allison tries really hard not to let her intense surprise show. ]

...right. That makes sense. [ She's trying really hard not to stare, too. Like, she's trying to look at him but she's trying desperately not to ogle. ] I guess there's probably a lot of vegetarians here, then?

[Sans is, frankly, deeply observant, and he can tell when he's acquirin' some weird looks. He takes it in stride. Always does. Still got himself braced for the inevitable questions of "how are you the way you are" and the like.]

Wouldn't know. I just hear people were turnin' into all kinds of nasty things a little while back. Somethin' in the meat.

Does this place ever get less weird? [ Not only is she going to be paranoid about stuff showing up in her apartment, she's now going to be extra cautious when eating. Fantastic. ]

Not really, nah. Sorry.

[Between the dragons, talking skeletons, and people pouring in outta nowhere...no. No, it does not.]

Not a real prime vacation spot, huh?

Not for me, no. [ Maybe for someone out there... ] What kinds of things were they turning into? And does that happen a lot?

Believe it was somethin' called a wendigo. I'd ask about the where-digos and why-digos, but presumably they weren't invited.

['Cause everyone loves a bit of wordplay to lighten things up.]

Weird stuff? Yep. Every few days. You kinda get used to it after a while.

[ Allison does actually let out a soft huff of amusement. ] Clever.

Great. [ Someday she'll stop being surprised by stuff like this. Someday. ] Is that why you're—? [ She gestures to her face with the fruit still in hand, hoping her tone isn't rude; she's genuinely curious. ] Did something happen?

[Aaaaaand there it is. Sans manages, somehow, to look reasonably offended despite not once shedding his grin. And also having a face comprised of presumably solid bone.]

Hey now. This is just my face.

[And his grin widens. Don't worry; he's been asked that question too many times to be offended for real.]

Name's Sans the skeleton.

[ Even though he seems pretty good-natured about it, Allison still feels a little bad. She even winces somewhat. ]

Sorry. It's just, you know, I'm not used to... people like you. [ God, that sounds even worse than just asking him straight out what's wrong with his face. ]

I'm Allison. The, uh, human.

Monsters?

[One supraorbital ridge glides upwards in the approximation of a lifted eyebrow, in a way that is distinctly, uh, un-bone-like. Considerably more pliable than a skull has any rights being. Thanks to that perma-grin, it might be kinda hard to gauge what he's actually thinkin' at this particular moment.]

Everyone's got an adjustment period, seems like. And hey, as a bonus, not a one of us plans on chewing your faces off like those things livin' in the caves. So there's always that.

I was thinking skeleton, actually. [ She's got firsthand experience with monsters that aren't really as scary, dangerous, and threatening as they're "supposed" to be. Her boyfriend, after all, is a werewolf.

The way his bone moves so freely, as if it were skin, is simultaneously unnerving and fascinating. But it definitely is difficult to tell what he's thinking, there's no denying that. ]

That's definitely a bonus. The fewer things trying to kill me, the better, no matter where I am.

Me and mine ain't like most of the other monsters you'll find down here. We're a whole lot funnier, for one.

[All right, so maybe Alphys can't really tell a bad joke to save her life, or at least without stammerin' so hard she'd spoil the punchline. But she can design fifty or so screaming robots in the blink of an eyesocket, and that's close enough.]

[ She smiles. ] Yeah, I noticed that. A good sense of humor can go a long way, too.

[ The idea of more talking skeletons made of oddly malleable bone running around isn't exactly her favorite idea, but she can adjust. This guy seems alright thus far, so she has no reason to think the others would be any worse. Based solely on what they are, of course. ]

See, you're speakin' my language. Everybody loves jokes.

[With the exception of most of the gods, but screw those guys anyway. They're most of them killjoys, unless they're Delight. Possibly Rage. He don't entertain anger enough to really be subject to whatever she might typically inspire, though he's pretty sure the reactions to his jokes have empowered her well enough. So that's, uh...nice.]

Yeah, everything has been edible. We did have an issue in the earlier months, but we haven't had anything similar since. [ It was quite the horror show. Sharon would much rather never see those creatures again. A pause, and then: ] I recommend the bright green fruits, the kind of egg shaped ones, they taste like sour apple candy.

I'm pretty sure there's at least one person out there who doesn't, but I definitely haven't met them yet.

Yeah, I heard about that... [ Though she's glad to hear it's been a while since that happened. Still, she's going to be pretty cautious about meats from here on out. ] Oh, really? That sounds interesting. Thanks for the tip! [ And there's the sounds of footsteps crunching through the undergrowth of the orchard as Allison starts wandering in search of one of those fruits. ] Do any of them take like normal, regular fruit, though?

[ It's better safe than sorry, after all. Most people don't want to unknowingly become cannibals and then painfully turn into cannibalistic screeching monsters. ]

I've eaten an eggplant looking thing that tasted like a potato? But it had the texture of a kiwi. [ Does that count? It was not a pleasant experience, but at least the flavor was a normal sort of familiar. ]

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