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[ This isn't his first rodeo with social media, or he supposes... Something as close to it. Would this be considered social media if it's within a closed network? Noctis supposes it doesn't matter. This is his first shot, this is his means of feeling this place out. ]

I need a wheelchair.

Not for me... It's for a friend. I know there's a clinic, but I'd rather reach out and make sure I'm not signing myself up for the third degree when I try and claim one.

If someone could point me in the right direction of who I need to talk to or whether or not I just take it, let me know.

Ah.

Thanks. To whoever's reading.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Nah, you're eager to get up and running again. I've been there before. Sucks being stuck in one place over an injury.

[ More than once, even. But the time after the injuries he'd sustained from the Marilith and the following illness that had ensued? Noctis was out of commission for far longer than he wanted, even at such a young age. There's much to do when you're a young boy, and being stuck in a wheelchair is not an idea place. For anyone, really. ]

[ The way she scoots closer isn't lost on him, and he may look visibly bewildered by it for a flash of a second. But it's gone as quickly as it arrives, and Noctis does nothing to pull away or allude to him being uncomfortable. Because he isn't, though his awkward tendencies like to veer around and bite him in the ass every once in a while. This is welcomed, needed, and Noctis finds himself being a bit selfish too in that regard. It's still such a shock to him that both Lunafreya and Regis are alive and well, with him... Though the gods here are a complete mystery to him? Noctis is... Thankful. For them. For this. ]

[ There's a voice in the back of his head telling him that this isn't forever. That he has a kingdom and world to save back home. But he hasn't the slightest idea of how or when he'll be able to go back. He's stuck, but the company of his father and his oldest friend keep him at bay. ]

[ Noctis stutters at the next question. ]

Uh, no... No, I was kinda referring to the gaping hole that was there yesterday.

But... I guess I was a little concerned about that too.

Mm, I suppose you would know a bit about that.

[ Lunafreya remembers the impatience with which Noctis had treated being relegated to a wheelchair, and she remembers running through the halls of the manor with him in an attempt to relieve him of his boredom. Maria had been disapproving and they had both been scolded by their respective parents, but Luna distinctly remembers that the sight of Noctis' smile had made it all worth it.

Lunafreya is tempted to reach for his hand, but thinks better of it. Thoughts of the wedding eke into her head again, and she thinks that keeping contact to a minimum would be for the best. For the both of them. Noctis' destiny weighs so much more heavily than hers does; on Eos, her duty has been fulfilled. There is no more for her to offer, her role complete. She had been born for all of it, and she doesn't regret dying for it... But some small part of her, some fierce ache, claws against the stars for all the good it will do. It's that part of her that wants to keep Noctis by her side, to remain with him in defiance of fate itself.

It's that part of her that Lunafreya silences, time and again, every time she looks to his face. She feels herself come alive every time his eyes meet hers, and she uses that fact to drive herself forward. She will return him to Eos, to his birthright.

Such heaviness of thought it broken by the way Noctis sputters, prompting Lunafreya to laugh. ]

... I suppose my lack of concern regarding it is answer enough. There is scarcely a scar that I can feel, though I've not had the chance to properly look; the only pain I feel is the pain of humiliation at having you see me take a spill like the one I have.

[ Her expression softens slightly as she regards him. This is the man Lunafreya had died for, and she knows in her heart of hearts that she would do it all over again. ]

If you wanted some, you could have asked.

[ Oh, he recalls it vividly. The times they had raced through the halls, Lunafreya at the back of the chair eagerly rushing him through. Often, he would try to race her with his weak arms controlling the wheels. She won most times, but he fondly recalls how often they laughed despite how much trouble they would get into. Noctis had been grounded multiple times over his carelessness during his injury, but to this day? He believes the fun he had contributed to his recovery. There was plenty of doubt that he would even make it. ]

[ It isn't strange how nearly all of Noctis' most fond memories are the ones including Lunafreya. They had grown so close in that time in Tenebrae, and he relates so many smells and feelings to those memories. The bright, early morning sunlight soaking through windows. Light breezes, the smell of the trees. A lot of it is connected to those recollections, and Noctis still hangs on to them after all this time. ]

[ It's because of this that he's selfish. That he's perfectly content in sitting right here for as long as he can. While he listens to her speak and reassure him that she is indeed as fine as can be, he makes sure to commit just the way she sounds to memory. Her voice certainly sounds so very different outside of the radio and television. ]

[ He scoffs at her remark, smirking. ]

I'm good. Was good. It didn't look all that appetizing to me.

[ Plus, he hates hot dogs. Most cheap food, really. While he was fine living on it for the sake of making a point as a teenager, he really liked the food he was accustom to. ]

[ But it's after that remark that he falls silent. Now that Lunafreya is conscious and well again, it's hard for him to mull over the words that he wished he could have said to her before her passing. ]

[ In the face of such an opportunity, Noctis finds himself as nervous as he is in most social situations. Bringing him to his safe space of silence. But that isn't without a few glances at Lunafreya's face, of which he lingers before looking away when they accidentally make eye contact. ]

Edited 2017-01-17 11:10 (UTC)

[ To know that Noctis feels that way would likely make Luna's heart soar; as it stands now, however, she's left to her own thoughts, mulling over them and weighing her light heart down with their import. With her injuries taken care of, Lunafreya is left to wonder at just how she will return Noctis to Eos; she somehow doubts that she and Regis will be able to follow, and while the thought makes her heart hurt, there's nothing to be done about it. Fate is a wily, yet shrewd creature, and Lunafreya knows it to be for the best, no matter how much her heart may protest.

Luna herself is working to commit everything about him to memory, though she finds that there isn't much that she hasn't already burned into her mind. The way he looks, smells, breathes; the funny thing about dying is how hyperaware of time it makes her. Lunafreya feels as if she's under a great constraint, and every second counts. She knows she earns nothing by holding her tongue, but some part of her tells her to keep her feelings inside, lest they be an undue burden upon the young prince. ]

I'd not had a hot dog since I was a girl. Oh, how I'd begged Ravus to buy me one from a stand in the city... only to find that I scarce knew how to eat it. [ Luna chuckles, fond with recollection. She knows that Noctis' palate is about as refined as they come, though his inability to eat anything even remotely green would beg to differ.

The silence that settles upon them leaves Lunafreya to her thoughts once more, the hands at her knees gently dropping to either side of her lap as she shifts again. She sucks in a breath through her teeth as she steels herself to speak, pushing the words out before she can properly censor them. ]

Regarding... our betrothal, [ Lunafreya begins, hating how abrupt it sounds. ] I realize that, in the wake of everything happening here and now... It seems like such a small, inconsequential thing. [ She turns her head to him and laughs, though her expression is wan. ] There really is no need or room for it here, especially when we consider the state of Eos as a whole...

[ She continues haltingly, organizing her thoughts as she goes. Lunafreya prides herself on her eloquence and speaking ability, but this is exceedingly difficult. ] I would not have you beholden to me in the least, Noctis, especially since our betrothal had simply been a bargaining chip in a bid for peace. There is no peace to be won in Hadriel, and even if there was... I highly doubt our engagement would have any bearing upon it.

[ Luna laughs again, soft and breathy. ] I suppose, in so many words, I am saying that it may be in your best interest to annul our betrothal. You are my king, and I, your Oracle... But I am your friend before anything else, and I wish for your happiness above all.

[ This hurts, somehow, though she scarcely understands why. Their impending union had been a sham, an elaborate potshot from Niflheim in its mad quest for power. Still, Lunafreya powers on, expression as placid as ever. ] Perhaps I am foolish for even assuming our betrothal is still in effect, but I wanted to clear the air regardless.

[ Something tells him that silence is likely not the best route to take. Well, a lot of things, actually. Though Noctis has not experienced death taking its embrace upon him, he's just as aware of what little time is allowed to them as she. If not a little less in retrospect, but the awareness is there. Every little bit of time he has with Regis and Lunafreya is as precious and rare as they come. Taking it for granted is not an option, nor is it something that he would be wise to allow. Were he able to get past his nerves and the metaphorical frog in his throat, he might be able to fight that. ]

[ It's in that silence that he stares at the Ring of Lucii that has still managed to stay on his finger this entire time. Seems like it's useless underneath the power which runs and holds Hadriel, given the distance between himself and the Kings of old. And their gods. He had felt a sort of fatigue in keeping it on while within the keep, knowing that it had already worked to sap his lifesource bit by bit. But here? It's as if it were a mere trinket at this point. Why he keeps it on is beyond him; he'd given his father's sword back to its rightful owner, why not the ring? ]

[ Well, probably because of the girl sitting next to him. Considering she's the one who had delivered it and lost her life to do so. Gladiolus had made a good point about that, and it somehow seems... Wrong to take it off, useless as it is in this place. It stands for something, represents so much. And while they are far, far away from his kingdom? That doesn't diminish the royal blood that flows through him, nor his duty as king. ]

[ Noctis is about to say something, something regarding what he's gone through. Or what she's gone through. Something to break the silence and ensure her that he hasn't forgotten his station and that her sacrifice won't be in vein. That he missed her, that he still aches over the fact that he couldn't stop Ardyn from ripping into her and leaving her to the tides Leviathan had already enticed and egged on. ]

[ But before he can, Lunafreya starts. Noctis' gaze meets hers with his lips partly open as if to speak, but he's stopped effectively. And what comes out of her mouth is... Not what he would expect. ]

Wh--

[ She suggests to annul their engagement, and it takes him a moment to even register what it all means. This whole time, he's known their betrothal to be a scam on behalf of the Empire. A trick to allow the previous king to let down Insomnia's defenses so they might have a quick upper hand to take over. But even after all that, it just seemed like him and the others had gone on as if the betrothal would carry over after everything was said and done. A symbol of the long-desired peace between nations. ]

[ Even with Noctis' inability to truly pinpoint his feelings about Lunafreya, he had long since settled with the arrangement his father had made for him. The betrothal hadn't made him uncomfortable or upset in the slightest, and he had in fact saw it less as his duty, and more as the opportunity to be close to his oldest friend again. ]

[ It's because of this that he looks visibly confused by her suggestion. Lunafreya mentions happiness, holding him before herself. And while he doesn't understand why, it sounds so absurd to him. As Lunafreya speaks, Noctis begins to shake his head. Brows furrowed as his hands casually wave in front of him in a request for her to stop. ]

Wait, what? Stop.

[ His hands rest at the floor again, glance effectively locked on Luna. ]

Why would I want to do that?

[ It's such a simple question in the grand scheme of things. But Noctis had already accepted the engagement before he even hit the road. Sure, the prospect of it is so strange in knowing that it was nothing more than a trick. But it wasn't just the guys who had hoped for some symbolic ceremony after the war came to an end. It was something he had often overheard the people talking about. Nevermind the eagerness he was starting to feel the closer they had gotten before all hell broke loose. ]

[ He was fine with it. Unexplained feelings or no. This was a motion for the good of his nation, for his father, and even if Noctis wasn't the best at dealing with his royal heritage? He knew it was his reason for being born. ]

[ When Noctis motions for her to stop, Lunafreya does as she's bade. His question is simple, yet cutting: "Why would I want to do that?" It takes Lunafreya aback, her gaze on him furtive for even suggesting it in the wake of his reaction, but her brows furrow slightly before she speaks again.

He asks her why, and she strives to word her answer delicately; yes, their marriage is a symbol of lasting peace. A sign that their long war is ended, and that their people are safe beneath the guidance of their joined hands. All of that is well and good, but that's working under the assumption that a marriage can take place once Noctis returns to Eos. And he will return to Eos, if Luna has any say in it. Part of her asks where that leaves her, but deep down, she already knows the answer.

It leaves her beneath the crush of the tidemother's embrace, where she'd been before Hadriel's gods had deemed her a worthy battery.

When Lunafreya speaks again, her voice is soft, her eyes downcast. The weight of the last few days finally quashes the elation she had felt upon being in Noctis and Regis' presence, and her shoulders slump with its burden. ]

... Because I will not be there when you return, [ She says gently. She doesn't need confirmation to know this. While Hadriel's gods have been merciful in their bringing her here, she highly doubts that they will be so magnanimous when they return her... If they even do. If they had been brought to this city with the intent of being used as a power source, it stands to reason that they'll be used up.

Lunafreya avoids Noctis' gaze as she speaks again, pressing her back against the edge of the bed. ] It is by no small miracle that I am able to speak to you like this, my body whole and healthy. [ She smiles softly. ] But you have seen my wounds firsthand. The only reason why I am still breathing is the fact that I was lucky enough to be posited in a place where I could receive help. I...

[ She swallows thickly. She's thought about this since she'd first been able to form cognizant thought during her recovery, and while she knows she'd have to speak to Noctis about this at some point, it feels too soon. ]

I... died. On Eos. I am dead. That much is certain.

[ Lunafreya looks to Noctis now, imploringly. ] Gods are subject to their own whims, as I'm sure you already know. They serve no one but themselves. Such is their nature, be they Astrals or whoever Hadriel's gods are. It is only by their grace that I am able to be here with you, and it is by their foibles that I will eventually...

[ She trails off, turning away from him in favor of staring at the wall before them. ]

Would that I could usher in a new era of peace by your side. But you... You cannot marry a dead woman, Noctis. You deserve the chance to find happiness, however fleeting it may be.

Edited 2017-01-17 12:03 (UTC)

[ Noctis is by no means incapable of looking at things beyond a simplistic view. Over time, he's had to learn a great deal about the highs and lows of being king, of what it all means beyond some stupid crown that sits atop his head every once in a while. The harsh treatment on Gladiolus' behalf wasn't just out of purely misplaced anger. It was out of a man who has known Noctis since he was a young child, being fully aware that this kid would eventually be his king. There are a lot of important factors that play into being a successful replacement upon the throne, and Noctis hasn't exactly had a good track record on appearing as prepared for it. ]

[ That much has changed. Quickly. Not by rigorous training or teachings, but from losing his home, his father, and his closest friend. Watching his attendant and friend Ignis not only lose his sight, but be left to practically fend himself while still diligently trying to maintain his duty as Royal Adviser and protector to the crown. So it's not because of lacking understanding that he looks so plainly hurt by Lunafreya's statement, it's out of a remaining young prince that so desperately wants his home back. ]

[ 'I died'. Just as simple as that. Noctis grits his teeth and promptly looks away at the reminder. Yeah, so did Regis. So did Insomnia, and so had the entire Fleuret line. Eventually? The Caelum dynasty will probably reach a similar end, as is so stated in the prophecy. ]

[ Noctis finds himself burning in his gut, feeling a tense twist in his chest at everything coming back to haunt him. The gods here saw fit to bring Regis and Lunafreya here, with him, some strange gift and curse all at once that has left him practically insane as he's lost sleep over it. The threat of losing them more than once has him anxious and uncomfortable as ever, but another part of him begs to enjoy this for what it is. ]

Don't... Need to remind me.

[ He gets it. Really. But the tone in his voice suggests that he didn't want to hear that, and this is the closest to a "tantrum" as he'll allow himself, honestly. Doesn't he deserve one or two before the coronation? If there ever is one? ]

[ No, no he can't allow himself to get angry. Not at her, and not at this situation that is so plainly strange and unheard of for them. Noctis takes a deep breath, shaken as it may be. ]

We don't know that. If you can't come back, if Dad can't come back.

[ It's a foolish assumption on Noctis' behalf. And it's pretty clear that even he knows that by the way he shakes his head. ]

Look, I'm not in a place anymore to have expectations past what I know I'm supposed to do. I'm not going to sit here and pretend that everything is okay when it isn't... But it's been made pretty clear by not just the gods running this place, but our own that...

[ His bent knee drops, legs spread along the floor where his arms hang between them. ]

That nothing is set in stone. Beyond the prophecy, which is vague enough as-is, we don't know.

Just--

[ Noctis' head bows forward, eyes tightly going shut. He knows this is foolish of him, but he's just not ready to accept it. Not now. He just wants to stay with her. With his dad. ]

I don't want to abandon it. It meant a whole lot more than just a barter between Lucis and Niflheim.

Please.

[ Lunafreya knows that Noctis isn't stupid; it probably hadn't been necessary for her to state the fact that she died when he already knew. In many ways, she'd been speaking for herself, trying to get back to the place where she had been the instant she'd been swallowed by the tide.

It had been so... peaceful. So quiet, save for the initial rush of water. The sheer amount of Astral energy that Leviathan had brought with her had sought to take Luna apart before Ardyn's wound ever did, but she figures it was her lungs rapidly filling with water that ultimately did her in. The crush of the water had been almost nothing as she was consigned to its deep, her body weightless even as everything went black.

Having fulfilled her duty, Lunafreya had resigned herself to her fate. She had delivered the ring, and seen Noctis. Held him. Granted him power and a covenant with the Hydraean. In that fulfillment, she had been happy.

Upon awakening in Hadriel, however, Lunafreya had suddenly been given the luxury of choice, a luxury that she hadn't had... ever, really. She'd been given room to question her fate, to come back from the finality of death; it made absolutely no sense, but she'd accepted it without question. She'd been given the chance to see King Regis again, and to see Noctis...

And she'd been given the choice to want, which likely was a mistake.

When Noctis speaks again, something tightens in her throat. ]

No. I suppose we do not. [ Luna concedes, though she feels that it more than likely isn't so. She cannot fault Noctis for his cautious optimism, for his hope, and she wants to desperately cling to it even when everything else seems bleak.

It's what she'd provided to him over the years, after all. Little does anyone know that he'd done much the same for her. ]

We... don't. But even if I am brought back as I am now, there is no guarantee that I will be deposited in a safe place. [ Lunafreya argues. She doesn't want to disagree with him, but she isn't about to coddle him, either; she isn't going to lie in order to spare his feelings. She respects him far too much for that. ] Nothing is set in stone, yes, but that much can go both ways. Gods are capable of a great many things, and I am not so ignorant to assume that I can understand them.

[ Which means a lot, coming from someone whose very bloodline is of those who speak with gods.

When Noctis shifts in position, Lunafreya is gripped by the desperate desire to take his hand again, which she once again abstains from. Instead, she curls her knees further inwards against her chest, hugging them to herself. His words cut her deeply, more deep than any knife, and something hard begins to form in her throat. ]

It... meant the world to me.

[ She murmurs, her voice whisper-thin. You mean the world to me, she wants to say, but thinks better of it. ]

But knowing that there is no promise of my return, would you still carry on as if we are to be wed? [ Lunafreya resolves, uncurling her knees in order to face him. Her expression is one of pained determination, punctuated by the way her eyes seem to be a bit brighter in the dim lighting of the room. ] 'Tis an exercise in futility, Noctis, and I refuse to allow you to to remain beholden to a memory.

[ Luna's breath catches as she regards him, fingers curling against the smooth surface of the floor. ] Please... It isn't... abandoning it, if it means that you have a true chance at happiness with its annulment.

I will not allow myself to burden you in such a way, regardless of what I want.

[ While Noctis is by no means an expert in tact and understanding yet, fully aware that he still needs to learn, he gets it. The likelihood of this alleged "Door" opening at all, lest allowing Regis and Lunafreya to return to Eos beside him is not likely. Not impossible either when considering the fact that they are alive at all. These gods have abilities that surpass death's grip, and while it may be pure wishful thinking on his behalf, he understands the possibility. ]

[ That doesn't stop him from hanging on to it, from having some sort of hope that he can restore light to the world without losing anymore people. With getting those he cares for most back in his life. But he's heard so often how his fate is disastrous and depressing that he really isn't in a place to argue. ]

[ Doesn't stop it from hurting. ]

[ Noctis finds himself incapable of looking at her, incapable of listening to her without each and every word delivering itself like a sharp knife to the chest. His connection to their betrothal is an urn of ashes he clings to, as if doing so would make coping with the situation they are in now easier. It's a crutch, a coping mechanism. And while Lunafreya is absolutely right that their betrothal will mean and do little in Hadriel, he would rather just pretend they never had this conversation. ]

[ The word 'burden' seems to bring him back to the burning remnants of Tenebrae. The little girl that had scrambled at her feet to catch Noctis and beg to know whether or not he was as happy as she about their arrangement. If the betrothal was a burden on him. Reassuring her that this was not the case had been easy, and he told her it wasn't without even a thought. ]

[ It dawns on him then that this runs a whole lot deeper on Lunafreya's behalf than what occurred in Eos. It's because of it that he doesn't get angry, that he doesn't cry, much as he wants to. ]

What's the point of carrying on at all with that argument?

[ Betrothal or not, she's here. She's alive. Lingering on anything in their past isn't necessarily healthy in this sort of situation, but it's the situation they're in. ]

Luna, I'm--

[ He sighs, leaning back against the bed as he pushes his hair from his face. ]

If you're suggesting I find someone else and move on, I can tell you right now it's not gonna happen here. It might never happen back home.

[ Because, deep down, Noctis has a feeling this all ends with him. It's just a feeling. ]

It wasn't a burden before, it's not now.

[ With his head still leaned back and pressed against the bed, his eyes shift their gaze to Luna. ]

Is that what you want? For me to just forget it? Move on when you're sitting right there?

[ Lunafreya knows that Noctis has never been one for blind optimism, and she sincerely can't fault him for clinging to hope in the way he does. For all she knows, if the gods of Hadriel even deign to spare them any thought, they could be plotting to mend things on Eos. The likelihood of that is extremely low, but they could very well be their only hope in terms of having things play out the way that Noctis wants them to; nothing short of divine intervention will bring Luna or Regis back to life, and the three of them have seen quite a bit of celestial intercession over the past week.

She sees the hurt in his face, plain as the sight of him sitting before her. Part of her wonders if it would have been better to sidestep the subject altogether, to spare him any more anguish than he's already endured. But Lunafreya respects him far too much to feign ignorance, even if it's for his sake. She's constantly thinking about what she feels would be the best for him, as is her custom. It may be terrible of her to assume what she feels is best for him, but she knows that if she doesn't say anything now, nothing may ever be said at all. ]

What's the point in not? [ Luna responds, her tone still even and gentle in spite of the way her voice threatens to break. ] For all you know, you or I could return to Eos within the next day. The next hour. If not you or I, then the King. What then? I know not what pains Hadriel's gods have taken to bring us here, but I feel it's safe to assume that they could just as easily send us away again.

[ She faces him fully, now, wincing as the stiff muscles of her legs give her resistance. ] I simply do not see the point in continuing a betrothal when its purpose is not--

[ Luna's words collide with his and she falls silent, searching his face. Her expression is one of frustration, confusion; she balls her fists against the floor, looking for the words, but they fail her.

After a few moments of agonized silence, she hangs her head. ] No. But I know my true feelings towards this. It's the fact that I do not know yours that made me suggest an annulment.

[ She knows nothing of the young girl who had stopped him in Tenebrae; she knows nothing of how he feels for her outside of their lifelong friendship. Luna doesn't know when she started to feel more than just a sense of duty towards her crown prince, but she knows that those feelings are what she's been left with all this time. They'd been the one thing she'd taken with her when the tides had swallowed her, and they will likely be the one thing she will carry with her for as long as she draws breath during the borrowed time that Hadriel's gods have granted her.

Lunafreya trains her eyes on the floor before her, unable (or simply just unwilling) to meet his gaze. ]

It's... strange. I feel that I can understand you when it comes to most anything. The years have done nothing to dull my ability to do so, even though they rightly should have. Yet you persist with this futile undertaking when you have no cause to.

[ Part of Luna feels a strange sort of frustration; she had died for this. She had died to ensure Eos' future, to ensure Noctis' future. While she would never, ever suggest that he owes her in any capacity, to have him outright reject her attempts to secure his happiness makes her feel put out.

She knows that ultimately, his future is his to decide, and that she's happy just to watch him make that decision. She can ask for nothing more. It's this knowledge that tempers her and keeps her voice soft, gently resting her temple against the side of the bed next to him. ]

I suppose that it would be unrealistic to assume that I know everything that you are thinking. Unrealistic, and arrogant.

[ Blame it on his stubbornness, his wayward attitude towards most things. Noctis doesn't even understand why he so selfishly clings to an arrangement that was pointless to begin with. But his subconscious seeks to hang on to it as some sort of trinket, memory of what they had before everything crashed and burned. While Noctis can't quite pinpoint why it is he feels this way, he sees no fault in his stance. ]

[ At the same time? He can't exactly fault Lunafreya for feeling the way she does. Her sacrifices were part of her duty, her birthright, and perhaps Noctis had forgotten that Luna had essentially been bred for the sole purpose of ensuring his success as king. Whether that be in her death or marriage to him, she did as she was supposed to. And that was a place she was clearly happy being in. ]

[ So he... Deflates. Visibly. Knowing that she's hurt and he's hurt facing the sore thumb that is their mutual destinies and roles in life. ]

Luna...

I was happy with our arrangement.

[ He finally lowers his head, looking to her, as painful as it may be to do so. Eventually, he sighs, putting his forehead in his hand. ]

Honestly? I don't even know what I'm thinking. I can't expect you to figure it all out when I'm just as lost as you are.

[ This conversation hurts, and Noctis finds himself far too tired to even fight it. Or argue. His fear of losing her has him clinging to this idea that was futile even before her death. ]

I can tell you until I'm blue in the face that I don't want this. I get your stance, but I don't want to. And yeah, I know I'm being ridiculous.

Just...

[ His hand lowers itself again, Noctis looking towards the wall. ]

If that's what you want, we can forget it. You're right: it was basically a false hope. And it still is at this point.

[ It hurts saying that. He's not sure why, but somehow he really, really wants to leave this room. ]

Edited 2017-01-18 05:13 (UTC)

[ Lunafreya sees Noctis' anguish as plainly as she can see him sitting in front of her. She doesn't fault him for clinging to what he can; had she the luxury, she likely would do the same. But as it stands now, life has never afforded Lunafreya the opportunity to cling to sentimentality, barring the journal she and Noctis shared during their years apart.

Watching him makes her heart hurt. Seeing his pain so blatantly in his eyes makes her want to reach out to him, to tell him it's fine, they can drop the subject, but to do so would be a graver injustice than what she's doing now. It's true that she'd been happy in her station as Oracle, as Noctis' friend; but that doesn't change the fact that part of her had dared to want more, though she never let her personal feelings interfere with her duty. Their marriage and her death had been parts of her duty that she had accepted, even if leaving him had hurt her more greatly than any injury Ardyn could have inflicted upon her.

Their roles don't mean much of anything in Hadriel. Regis is not a king, nor is Noctis. Lunafreya is not an Oracle. Without her station, she feels untethered... but free. She can only hope Noctis feels the same way, if only for a short while, which leads her to the reasoning behind her proposal of annulment.

Her destiny is fulfilled. Noctis, however, still has to wait for his to unfold. ]

As was I. I could not think of anyone else I would rather be promised to.

[ The smile she gives him is wan, bordering on sad. It's only now that she finally reaches for him, very gently taking him by the wrist in only to enfold his hand with both of hers. She sighs, watching his face, and she shifts slightly closer.

Their situation is a cruel one, wrought with complications when there really should be none. She mulls over his words for a few moments before speaking, sadness tinging her voice. ]

I do not wish for it, either.

[ Lunafreya closes her eyes, measuring her words... only to realize that this is not the situation to do so. He deserves her complete and utter honesty, and in death, she can finally give that to him. The fact that she's alive in Hadriel is what makes this possible, and she silently finds herself thanking the faceless gods that have brought her here.

The yoke of duty lightened the instant she had given him the ring. While she's found another calling in finding any way possible to return him to Eos, Lunafreya feels she can remain silent no longer in the face of his pain. ]

To be by your side has been my greatest wish for over a decade. To laugh with you, to support you, to hold you and cherish you. I do not wish to forget our betrothal, nor do I think that I can. Treaty or no-- false hope or no-- it was real to me.

[ The more she speaks, the more heat pricks her eyes. Still, she presses on. ]

I never, ever wish to burden you. I would not deign to believe you feel the same way as I, which is why I offered an annulment. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is no room in my heart for any other than you.

[ Gently, selfishly, she brings the back of his knuckles to her lips, ghosting a kiss against his skin, holding his hand loosely so that he can pull away, if need be. ]

I am happy to die with that knowledge. My heart is full knowing that I have been able to support you as your Oracle-- your friend-- and I could not dare ask for more, regardless of my own selfish wants.

Edited 2017-01-18 06:26 (UTC)

[ It's almost... Funny. Ironic in a way, given that Lunafreya has so happily accepted that her job is done. That she is free from the shackles of what was once expected of her, which seems to be what fuels the lengthy reassurance she gives him. Its ironic because in the wake of her duty having been resolved, Noctis can't let go of his while he's here. He's not a king in Hadriel. Not a prince either, but it's so much easier said than done in wake of how he should behave. ]

[ Part of him is in no hurry to return to the calamity Eos is facing, while another is certain that he's wasting time not searching tirelessly for this Door. It's been the source of his restlessness, coupled with the worry he's felt for both Regis and Lunafreya. The fear of their disappearances, the fear of their well-being, all tied in with the huge weight on his shoulders regarding his kingdom and chosen path. ]

[ Noctis constantly feels as though his mind is going a mile a minute, posing a challenge in his focus on her words. But it's when she grasps his hand that everything seems to finally, finally slow down. ]

[ He looks to her, switching his gaze between her eyes and their joined hands. She's so warm, and her pulse is strong, easily felt in her grasp. Where as before, it was fading away, and Noctis finds himself easily grounded in the feeling. While the conversation has done nothing to ease his pain, her touch has. As it often does, due to her station and profession. Lunafreya has always been somewhat of a wordsmith, capable of making anything sound so much easier with just a few words. This time? There's plenty, all expressing something that he doesn't think he could ever manage to do so easily in return. ]

[ So... Despite the uselessness of their betrothal, despite the painful acceptance that it's best to just drop it entirely? She still... ]

[ Though the pain is still ever clear on his features, it's beginning to ebb away. But Noctis finds himself damn-near incapable of expressing himself in the way she has. He's nowhere near as graceful and poised as she, hardly as thoughtful. It's almost frustrating, in a way. He makes almost a pained exhale the instant her lips touch his knuckles, knowing that crying again would be foolish. ]

You never were a--

[ Words are just... Far too difficult. A pain to put together, really. He doesn't know how she does it. Noctis eventually shakes his head, expression as frustrated as ever. With what little he has left, in knowing what he had wanted to do and say would never happen in the wake of her death? He's impatient, selfish even. But it's clear the direction Lunafreya is going here, and it becomes even harder to just sit and talk this out. ]

It's done, okay? I don't care anymore, I just...

[ Another sigh. ]

Screw it.

[ Noctis lets her keep his hand, though the other is free to reach forward. It delicately grasps Lunafreya by the arm as he leans in, their noses bumping together before his lips take her own. The kiss itself is sudden, but gentle. Almost chaste, save for the spontaneous decision. He's not great with words, but he's good enough with action. ]

[ Lunafreya can certainly see the irony, though she observes it with some modicum of guilt. It almost feels as if she's been absolved of all of her responsibilities and is taking the very first opportunity to remind Noctis of his. She knows he's aware of it; the crown weighs heavy upon the head it rests, regardless of whether the king is in his kingdom or not.

Lunafreya almost feels as if, in her efforts to circumvent burdening him, she has instead doubled the weight her words hold. Eos is certainly lost without him there, and Lunafreya is terrified to think of what will become of Lucis with its king dead and crown prince unaccounted for. Most of her time is spent in abject horror, the more she thinks about it, and while duty dictates decorum and grace under pressure, she can't help but feel herself crack a little now that she's dead in her home world and trapped in this one.

Her own thoughts seem to slow and stop when she takes his hand, large and calloused, into her own. Noctis has an uncanny way of making her world narrow and shrink, her focus steady upon his face and the way he looks at her. Lunafreya trembles under the weight of everything that she has just said, but remains firm; she's never made her feelings for him a secret, but giving them a name seems to wind the situation taut, adding a dash of tension and terror to an already unbearably heavy conversation.

The easing of Noctis' expression makes Luna take heart, and she feels no disappointment in his momentary silence. She knows that words are not his strong suit, though his feelings come in droves; she also knows that she's effectively dropped over a decade's worth of feeling onto him all at once. Lunafreya doesn't expect an answer right away, if ever... But she feels better in finally telling him how she feels.

She wants to laugh. Wants to bring the conversation back to where it had been in the beginning, when he'd practically jaunted through the door with his groceries. Anything to ease the tautness of the atmosphere, to wipe that last bit of pain from Noctis' face.

It's Lunafreya's turn to look hurt at what he says next, though she scarcely knows why. What she interprets as resignation and finality is completely thrown out the window, however, as the rest of his words register to her ears: screw it. It's a colloquial term, she knows, but she can't help but admire the irony of it; the situation is already wound tightly enough as is. A further turn of the screw would only serve to make it break.

... And then, that's exactly what Noctis does. He turns the proverbial screw as he leans in, his breath washing warm over her lips before he covers them with his own, soft and gentle. Lunafreya is too surprised to react immediately, her brain synpases firing far too slowly for her to reciprocate as quickly as she wants to. Her stomach seems to bottom out at the feeling and she stiffens momentarily... But Noctis isn't kept waiting as she slants her mouth against his, as soft and chaste as he, interlacing their fingers before she breaks away.

What does this mean? She has no idea. ]

[ Noctis has a strange relationship with impulsiveness, and he'd like to think that he isn't. That he's as calculated and thoughtful as a proper king should be. But he has his moments, and he's realized that they've been rather frequent as of late. In knowing that each and every moment is sacred and so easily ripped apart, Noctis has allowed himself to completely abandon words in favor of acting upon his feelings instead. ]

[ And those feelings are still rather mysterious to himself. Putting a word to it, obvious as it may and should be, is far more difficult than anything he's dealt with. He knows it's there, that it's close, but admitting it seems to be the toughest part in the wake of what's waiting for him back in Eos. ]

[ So Noctis drowns himself in a heavy, yet brief gesture. And something tells him that he was right in doing so, in choosing this path. Because the way his body seems to wash away of all tension and discomfort with such a short moment is as shocking to him as it is comforting. Lunafreya's lips are soft, warm, and there's but a brief taste that he's never quite experienced in his lifetime that makes him crave more. Yet himself and Lunafreya seem to find it nearly impossible to do so. ]

[ Before long, the moment is over. Lunafreya being the first to break the kiss, it takes Noctis a second to come down from it all and look at her. He exhales, shaken and heavy, though he dares not let go of her hand. Through half-lidded eyes, he lets his attention remain upon her even when such a look of confusion and shock still seems to color her face. ]

Mm.

[ He hums to himself, as if in understanding of a conversation within his own head. Confirmation that he did what he felt was best, and there are no regrets lying behind it. ]

[ Noctis lets his forehead press against her own, as they often do, the hand at her arm letting loose to drop at her side. His voice is lowered, softer and less riddled with discontent and pain. ]

Listen, we don't need to waste time on this anymore. We'll cross that bridge again eventually, but now?

Let's... Take it one step at a time. Okay?

Edited 2017-01-18 08:02 (UTC)

[ Though she hasn't been in his physical presence for a very long time, Lunafreya is well aware of Noctis' bouts of impulsivity. This is the first time she's ever reaped the benefits of it, however, and as it's effectively her very first kiss, she scarcely knows how to react. She doesn't fall into a fit of blushing and stammering as they pull away, but her skin patches hotly with embarrassment and a desire to continue in spite of herself.

Noctis' actions always spoke much louder and more effectively than his words, and while a king should know how to speak with eloquence and grace, his actions are ultimately what carry the throne. Lunafreya is hesitant to give her own feelings a name, content to describe them to him and to allow him to deem them any title that he sees fit. Love is apt, but not wholly accurate; something so soft and shallow as love doesn't begin to cover the breadth and depth of the way she feels for him.

Lunafreya feels heady in the aftermath of his impulsive decision, though some long-dormant ache inside of her protests as they break apart. She keeps their hands connected, palms pressed together even as his brow meets hers, and she nods. It's all she can do.

She still thinks the betrothal is unnecessary, but she finds herself clinging to it in much the same way Noctis had. Though this changes... absolutely nothing, really, Lunafreya savors it for what it is, happy to simply be. ]

... Alright. If that is what you think is best... [ Luna murmurs, unconvinced but satisfied. While she knows the future is uncertain, she's happy in knowing that she can face it by Noctis' side, for however long that fate decides to grant it to her. ]

... That is enough for me. [ With that, she closes her eyes, content just to have him near. ]

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