hadriel | Audio

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[Kain sounds exhausted when he speaks. He's still got some recovering to do, clearly. He ended up in a hell of a shape after being defeated by his double, and now he’s only just coming to enough to really think about what that battle had meant… Failure. He had failed to defeat his darker self, the one thing he’d devoted his life to achieving…]

[He's seriously wondering again if Hadriel is some sort of eternal punishment.]

So… it sounds as if the doubles are gone entirely? A shame. I for one wouldn't mind if mine returned. He owes me a rematch.

[No, it's probably not a good idea to even wish for such a thing, but he doesn't care. He needs this to happen, one way or another. He has so much to prove.]

Did anyone manage to defeat their other selves? If so… how did you manage it?

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I just stabbed her to death. [ /shrug. Like no really. That's it. Granted, it was a mutually attempted stabbing, but she came out the winner so fuck you doppelganger. ]

Was it a very difficult struggle, up until that point?

[Facing one's... self definitely has more challenges than he'd have expected. His double knew exactly how to deal with him, better than he himself, odd as it seems.]

...Yeah, I guess so? [ They had been evenly matched in everything. It felt like facing Alessa again and, just as she had then, she knew she would come out the winner because there was no other option. It helped that her other relied upon the fog and darkness of the Otherworld, expecting protection and safety from the Red Pyramid, but when he couldn't tell them apart and refused to listen to directives, Sharon took advantage of her other's distraction and took her out. ] But I've dealt with my own doppelgangers before so it wasn't exactly like it was a new challenge for me.

[ Ok, it was kind of a challenge and it lacked in the Light vs Dark hug-it-out and merge, but whatever, same thing. ]

Funny you should say that.

[Kain thinks about his own double, how much he'd loathed him, how much he'd wanted to destroy him. He'd made many mistakes in the whole battle, and they'd been costly.]

I had considerable difficulty because I've dealt with my other self before. I underestimated him.

Why? [ It's possible whatever double he dealt with back home was weaker than the real Kain but color her curious. ]

[It's definitely hard for him to explain, and it takes him a few moments to consider what to say.]

I thought I knew what he was doing... every move, every skill that he has is something I can match. But somehow he's stronger, more capable. I hesitated at a time when... when he didn't. He's more ruthless than me.

[ Sharon sounds, despite the advice she's giving, somewhat sympathetic. ]

...Then just think of it as a lesson learned. This place hands them out in spades.

Next time, I can't hesitate.

[Sigh. He knows he may not ever get that next chance, but he can't help but hope for it anyway.]

But you're right about this place. It seems that every time the gods inflict something on us, it's a terrible punishment.

Next time, you won't. [ See, lesson learned, Kain. ]

Don't think of anything they do to us as punishment, think of it as a group of beings using and abusing us. You think of it like a punishment, you may start to think you deserve it.

[He only hopes that's true. He may feel confident about that now, but... who knows what may come in the future...]

But I do deser... [He trails off and cuts off, realizing that it's pointless to insist on this. What's going on here is bigger than his own problems.] No, never mind that, you're right. This place and what's become of us here isn't natural or right. We must continue to fight it.

[ Sharon knows exactly what it's like to feel that way; to feel as if she deserves every ounce of pain or suffering that gets thrown her way because she's done some truly reprehensible things, but these gods do not get to dole out her punishment just to get what they want.

That's not punishment. ]

Good, I'm glad you realize that. [ Even with exhaustion clinging to her, she still knows who the real enemy is. Sleep, for now, but in the end it will always be the gods. ]

The only problem is the risk of losing sight of it...

[Something he's determined not to succumb to, if he can help it. But this world does seem to have a way of messing with one's mental state.]

But I can't let that happen. I must do all I can to remind myself of the truth of this place, and its gods. They're the true enemy.

How can you forget when it's easy to remember all the things they do to us for the sake of themselves?

Good point, I know how confusing that probably seems. But... sometimes when things settle for a time, it seems very possible to start feeling complacent. It's something I cannot ever allow to happen.

Most people here become complacent. Don't turn into one of those sheep. [ She almost sounds angry. Never stop fighting! ]

Thanks for the reminder. [And he's sincere in his tone, he really does mean that.] That's something I needed to hear... something I need to keep in mind. I refuse to fall in such a way.

You'll have to remind yourself over and over here because they do their hardest to make us soft.

I wonder what their ultimate goal is by wearing us down in such a way. What do they really want of us?

They want our emotions, their way to power. That's it.

And that's it? They'll just keep us here indefinitely, gathering more and more power? I can't help but wonder if there's more to it, something they plan to do with such power...

Supposedly it's so that they can deal with whatever killed them before the Door was opened. I don't know. Fear says he wants to leave the place, so who knows.

The more I hear, the more complicated it all seems. I thought the gods to be mere enemies, but now... there's more to it than that. I hope that's true, that they're able to help us at least leave this cave.

Enemies? No, they're more like a family than enemies. Why do you think Hope tries so hard to bring them back? [ Would you be bringing back your enemy? She doesn't think so. ]

There's a lot more to this place than we know. About them. About what killed them and when it will come back. There's a bunch of shit we don't know, shit they won't tell us.

Or me, at least.

A very dysfunctional family, considering some of their abilities... but I can see that. I guess we have to learn to live with them for the time being.

I wonder whether or not they've ever spoken with anyone else, though... told anyone anything useful...

You won't be saying that after you've been here a year. [ Sharon's pretty tired of living with them, especially when the godly roommate number seems to increase by one every couple months. ]

They probably have. Some are more open than others. If you want to know something, or even need something, just go ask them. [ Not that this is something Sharon approves of, mind you, which also makes her gigantic hypocrite but it's cool. ]

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