[text - where the memes at.]

[goldpoints]

[look out cave, someone's excited and painfully new.]

OH MAN A CHARGED PHONE

YIU HAVE INTERNET

CAVE INBTERNET

IM SO HAPPY EVEN IF IT MAKES NO SENSE

[It's been...so long... She's gonna cry. Anyway, there's more than just screaming to do on the internet, even if it's been way more time than any modern eighteen-year-old deserves. Well, for...her, at least. Some of her friends might have been content with screams and memes.]

Wheres the cave news site and a chargrt pls

Comments

[pessimistically]

I suppose...

[ But he's still going to judge their choice in entertainment. More importantly-]

Zombies?

[goldpoints]

oh yeah we were not prepared for that one lemme tell you

[pessimistically]

The guide mentioned something similar.
Assuming they're the same type your experience could be useful.

[ He's been dragged to enough bad horror films to know there's no guarantees. ]

[goldpoints]

I'm rly useful!! I'm p fast and strong and smart except when it's math

but now I have a ttl math genius for thgat if I need it lol

[pessimistically]

[ ... Right. Leaving aside any doubts he has about the self-assessment. ]

Good. Anyone who can't take care of themselves will just make this place harder for the rest of us.

[goldpoints]

there's a rude typo-hgating alien you should be friends witgh

[pessimistically]

Not interested.

[goldpoints]

rlly bc he shares your thoughts on usefulness

[pessimistically]

So what?
Considering the circumstances, I'm sure it's a common view.

[goldpoints]

idk where I was almosdt everybody did their best to help everybody even when they were assholes

[pessimistically]

[ Wow. The naive (and weirdly idyllic) description of the zombie apocalypse just pisses him off. But, since he's not actually trying to be a dick... ]

I never said I wouldn't help. It's common sense to work together in a crisis.
That doesn't make having to be responsible for others less troublesome.

[goldpoints]

[In a lot of ways, things went better than expected. Didn't make the horrible things any less horrible.]

ppl just have different skills. if something isn't helpful to you, that doesn't mean it's not helpful in another way. and lots of ppl can surprise you!! I've got a friend that doesn't like fighting and isn't super fast or anytghing but she has a SRS right hook

[pessimistically]

Believe whatever you like...
It doesn’t really matter to me either way.

[goldpoints]

[pessimistically]

[ trufax.

Which is why he's just going to glare at the phone for a moment before ignoring it. It's a miracle he made it this long, tbh. ]