[Text] (With Pictures!)

[aroundthecoroner]

So it's day 2 of Ikea madness,
and I figured we should set up some kind of cragslist situation,
so that people can get rid of things they really don't want.
Or if you for some reason feel like filling your house with this stuff
follow your dreams?

Anyway I found this yesterday:

[Attached is a photo of a very odd table, the front half of it, anyway. It's sticking out of an apartment wall at an odd angle, legs mostly horizontal. There's a second photo of the back half, which appears to be in another room.

A jacket is hanging off of one of the hooves. Looks like someone has found a use for it, at least.]

If anyone knows how to get this out of the wall
without like, destroying said wall
they're welcome to it.
But to be honest I'm kind of getting used to it.
Might call it "Dave".
This I'm not too keen on:

[Another image, this one of a kind of unsettling chair.]

Frankly you can just have it.
Please.

[Everyone is welcome to post their new furniture they don't want, or offers to acquire more. Michael is not going to moderate, but it's a platform at least!]

Comments

[evocation]

who the hell is krampus?

[aroundthecoroner]

Wait you don't know krampus?
The giant satan-looking dude that kidnaps bad kids?
Or like beats them?
He's like anti-santa.

[evocation]

dude.
your world has some weird ass stories.
what happened to the plain old boogeyman?

[aroundthecoroner]

What?
It's not that weird.
A dude sneaking into your house to give you presents is also weird
if we're judging.
We have the boogeyman, too.
But seriously you've never heard of krampus?
They even made a horror movie about it.

[evocation]

santa doesn't beat kids or eat them or whatever.
what movie?

[aroundthecoroner]

You don't know that.
Actually, just checking: santa isn't real where you're from, right?
And the movie was called Krampus.

[evocation]

no?
thanks for the new thing to be paranoid about though.
how shitty was that movie?

[aroundthecoroner]

You're welcome.
And it was pretty shitty.

[Then again, he might be biased, since movies don't scare him much anymore.]

[evocation]

did you ever see that shitty black christmas movie?
idk if you even have it actually.
you've never seen an elf before so i don't get what's going on over there.

[aroundthecoroner]

We have it,
but I've never seen it.
And listen I'm gonna be straight with you
I don't know if elves exist in my world.
Like we have the concept
but not
the reality.

[evocation]

okay.
so what's your concept?

[aroundthecoroner]

Well there's two.
One is tiny human-ish people
kind of like fairies?
They play tricks and make shoes I guess.
The other one is more human-sized.
They're magical and
I don't know immortal??

[He slept through most of Lord of the Rings, cut him some slack.]

Sorry this is probably all wrong.

[evocation]

wtf, that first one is so lame.
the second one is closer.
just no immortality. at least not where i'm from.
i'm only half elf though.

[aroundthecoroner]

But you are magic, right?
Or you can use magic?
Is that a specific elf thing, or no?
Since Harlan can do it too.

[evocation]

no, it's just a thing.
my brother's a half elf too and he sucks at magic.
some people teach themselves and some people can just do it.
you seriously don't have magic at all where you're from?

[aroundthecoroner]

I mean
we might?
I've just never seen it.
Most people think it's fake.
We have ghosts I'm pretty sure.
But not everyone believes in them.

[evocation]

pretty sure?
have you seen one?

[aroundthecoroner]

[YOU COULD... SAY THAT...]

Uh.
Once.
Maybe.

[evocation]

what do you mean, maybe?

[aroundthecoroner]

I had an
encounter?
I don't know how else to describe it.
And maybe it wasn't even real.
I work with dead people, okay?
Sometimes the imagination gets away from you.

[Please find his half-truths convincing.]

[evocation]

what are you, like a funeral director?

[aroundthecoroner]

Nope.
Autopsy technician.
I did work in a funeral home, though.
A few years ago.

[evocation]

oh.
why'd you pick that job?

[aroundthecoroner]

Which one?
I guess you could mean either.
The first one was convenient,
they were hiring,
I needed a job.
And then I didn't hate it,
so when I moved I just got something similar.
Ish.
There's definitely a difference between preparing a body and,
well,
taking it apart.

[You wanted to know that, right?]

[evocation]

do you even cut into someone when you're embalming them?
how does that work?