hadriel | [Text] (With Pictures!)

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[Text] (With Pictures!)

So it's day 2 of Ikea madness,
and I figured we should set up some kind of cragslist situation,
so that people can get rid of things they really don't want.
Or if you for some reason feel like filling your house with this stuff
follow your dreams?

Anyway I found this yesterday:

[Attached is a photo of a very odd table, the front half of it, anyway. It's sticking out of an apartment wall at an odd angle, legs mostly horizontal. There's a second photo of the back half, which appears to be in another room.

A jacket is hanging off of one of the hooves. Looks like someone has found a use for it, at least.]

If anyone knows how to get this out of the wall
without like, destroying said wall
they're welcome to it.
But to be honest I'm kind of getting used to it.
Might call it "Dave".
This I'm not too keen on:

[Another image, this one of a kind of unsettling chair.]

Frankly you can just have it.
Please.

[Everyone is welcome to post their new furniture they don't want, or offers to acquire more. Michael is not going to moderate, but it's a platform at least!]

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I would, but I can't get it out of the door. It's too large and weirdly shaped.

[He hates it so muuuuuuch.]

Oh.
Bummer.
I guess ask around for people with sledgehammers, then.
Or you might have to just learn to live with it.
Got any sheets to toss over it?

Actually, a sheet is a good suggestion, at least temporarily.

And the sledgehammer one sounds therapeutic, at least assuming I could find one. And swing it hard enough.

[How heavy is a sledgehammer? He's never picked one up. It'd have to wait also for his shoulder to heal a bit more, but that shouldn't be too long; he's more concerned with the weight of the thing in general.

But man, smashing this horrific chair would be satisfying.]

Maybe you could make one?
Out of like
a lump of metal and a piece of wood.
I think it's less about force
and more about momentum.
If the head of the hammer is heavy enough,
you just have to worry about getting it to the top of the swing.

[Why does he know that???]

[That is actually not weird enough knowledge to even register as strange to Lance, which can be blamed on Dr. Brennan and her team of nerds.]

That's good to know. I guess maybe if I can find some duct tape I could put something together, and this thing does seem really cheap, so maybe it'll break easy enough.

Have you had any luck yet with getting rid of your own unwanted furniture?

[Michael is a similarly-inclined nerd, so that works out.]

I have, yeah.
Well, Carlisle is coming for the table at least.
Still no takers on the horror chair.
Why is that thing so universally unsettling?

It is pretty horrible.

I could come up with a long psychological explanation, but I'm just going to give the simple answer of that it reminds people of a spider.

[The long answer would ultimately come down to pretty much the same end result anyway.]

Yeah.
It's the legs, I think.
Are you a psychologist?
Or just interested in that stuff.

Definitely the legs.

Yes, I'm a psychologist.

[Gets a lot of use here. And answering gives him an opportunity to ask--]

What do you do in your world?

[Ah yes. This old chestnut.]

I dissect dead people.
I'm an autopsy technician.

[Hey man this is a way better answer than a lot of people here have given.]

I have a friend who does that, although she typically only works murder cases now.

Oh, hey.
Small world?
I'm not too picky I guess.
I get called in, I go in.
Which is most of the time.
There's like a million hospitals around.
And it's not exactly the safest city in the world.

How did you decide to go into that line of work?

[He's curious; he knows for Cam it wasn't her first career choice, so he wonders if it is for Michael or if he'd ended up in that job in some roundabout way.]

Worked in a funeral home after college.
Then when I moved
this just happened to be open
and I happened to be qualified.
So, kind of on accident?
This wasn't like my childhood dream or anything.
Might actually
be weird if it was.
So same question:
why psychology?

That makes sense. It wouldn't be that strange if it were your dream, though.

[Just feels important to mention that. There are lots of really good and not creepy or weird reasons to want to be a coroner or mortician or any of those other somewhat morbid fields. As for the question, he gives the truthful but very basic answer he's been giving a lot in Hadriel so far.]

I wanted to do something that would help people.

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with what I do.
Just that people might've looked at me funny
if I was a kid who talked about wanting to open up dead people.
Wanting to help is
noble I guess?
Better reason than mine, anyway.

That's definitely true.

[He's thinking mostly of Brennan, who did talk about such a thing as a kid, but also of his conversation with Nico during the alternate history event.]

Thank you, although I don't think there's really room or reason to judge profession is most situations. There's nothing wrong with having a job because you need one, or it's just what you ended up doing.

[The only exceptions--and the reason for the 'most situations' qualifier, is that he really doesn't count things like being a hitman or something. That's... Not really excusable, but it's not like being a coroner is some terrible thing that hurts anyone.]

[Guess who's going to zero in on that qualifier.]

Nah, I get it.
I don't think there's a wrong reason
just maybe a more right one?
What do you mean by 'most situations' though?
Which professions are you judging?

Maybe I'm taking a more broad view of 'profession' than most, but anything that involves causing harm for personal gain. In particular I was thinking of murderers for hire, which I've unfortunately met a few of.

[They're mean. :c]

Edited (I'm up too early for me to write coherent sentences apparently) 2017-09-11 14:04 (UTC)

Oh.
I mean that's
technically a profession
in the way that "drug dealer" is a profession.
Did you meet them here?

[Please tell ~~them~~ him all about it.]

[Sorry Michael ~~and brain creature~~.]

Not that I'm aware of, although I imagine a few people here might be considering the wide variety of individuals.

[People here can't even agree that murder is wrong, so the idea that there's a least one person who gets paid to do it is probably safe to bet on.]

But at home I work in the major crimes division of the FBI, hence the experience with those types.

[Not great people. He's also pretty sure he was murdered by one himself, which doesn't help.]

[Well damn. At least there's still that serial killer to fall back on! Speaking of which-]

What counts as a major crime?
Like, serial killers?
Or terrorism?

[Indeed! And another serial killer or two, and some mass-murders, and other generally unpleasant people.]

Terrorism is usually handled by a different division that specializes in it. We mostly deal with murders, including a few serial killers, yes.

[But typically the murders are more the crime of passion type, which are still tragic and pointless but still thankfully not the cold, unfaltering evil that most serial killers operate under.]

[Cold, unfaltering evil, huh? Awkward.]

So do the local police have to call you in?
Or do you take some cases by choice?
You'd think I'd know more about this,
but I don't.
I'm not even the one who testifies in court most of the time.

[Hey, again it's only most!]

I work in Washington D.C., so a lot of cases just end up falling under our jurisdiction for various reasons.

How many times have you ended up testifying?

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