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first spell [video]
[The camera opens on two people, sitting shoulder to shoulder and addressing the camera head-on. Or, well... one elf and a skeleton. Taako’s face is wide in a grin, seemingly intent on emoting well enough for the two of them, and they simultaneously move to flip some hair from their faces- or well, Lup would, if she had any. The motion is still recognizable enough as they address the network.]
Helloooo, Hadriel!
[For those who remember Stepford, it might be very reminiscent of their tv show, Lup’s voice coming through loud and clear to make herself a little more recognizable.]
You’re on with the twins, and today, we have a suuuuper important thing we need you to settle.
Bee-tee-dubs, we wouldn’t even need to bother with this if my dear brother could get over himself.
[Taako gives her a look, before re-addressing the camera.] Anyway, so there’s like, transmutation magic, which is awesome and rad, and then there’s evocation, which just like, does elemental stuff or whatever, and is super lame. So if you were gonna pick one--
Yeah, no. [And Lup raises a hand to prove her point, summoning fire instantly to her skeletal palm.] Deffo cooler than anything that comes out of his specialization. Trust me, fam.
[Without even a response, a translucent, spectral hand appears behind Taako, and moving in tandem with his hand, floats into the frame and smacks Lup upside the head before disappearing.]
I can literally turn into anything I want, whenever I want. I can fly, my dude. I could be a shark.
Holy shit, Taako. Give up the shark thing. No one cares about sharks! I’m not trying to crush your game or anything, but pick a better animal.
It’s a fucking shark! What is there not to-- no, you know what, stand back, this is gonna be amazing. [He is, in fact, backing up to give himself some space with the intent to actually do it, tossing his pointy wizard hat to the side in preparation.]
And there he goes again. [Lup could not possibly sound less excited if she tried.]
Check. It. Out. [Taako winks towards the camera, hands on his hips, and then extends his arms, starting to emanate a strange sort of glow. But just before their audience can catch sight of what supremely awesome magic Taako is about to throw down, the camera shifts, pulled to a close up on Lup’s skeletal face. She tilts her head, as if smiling, effectively blocking Taako’s transformation from being seen.]
Y'know, I don’t think I’ve ever looked so good.
[Behind her, a loud and rather angry roar can be heard, that still kind of sounds a little like Taako. The voice that follows is much rougher than his normal tone, because it’s hard to make animal vocal chords try and speak, okay.]
LUP WHAT THE FUCK--
[It’s accompanied by what sounds like some thrashing, and then absolutely the sound of something in their room shattering to the floor. Lup somehow manages to ignore the chaos behind her completely, throwing up a skeletal peace sign before the connection cuts.]
[ooc: Taako is blue, Lup is red, both of them are purple! Specify if you want one or the other because the default is both with a three-way thread!]
Helloooo, Hadriel!
[For those who remember Stepford, it might be very reminiscent of their tv show, Lup’s voice coming through loud and clear to make herself a little more recognizable.]
You’re on with the twins, and today, we have a suuuuper important thing we need you to settle.
Bee-tee-dubs, we wouldn’t even need to bother with this if my dear brother could get over himself.
[Taako gives her a look, before re-addressing the camera.] Anyway, so there’s like, transmutation magic, which is awesome and rad, and then there’s evocation, which just like, does elemental stuff or whatever, and is super lame. So if you were gonna pick one--
Yeah, no. [And Lup raises a hand to prove her point, summoning fire instantly to her skeletal palm.] Deffo cooler than anything that comes out of his specialization. Trust me, fam.
[Without even a response, a translucent, spectral hand appears behind Taako, and moving in tandem with his hand, floats into the frame and smacks Lup upside the head before disappearing.]
I can literally turn into anything I want, whenever I want. I can fly, my dude. I could be a shark.
Holy shit, Taako. Give up the shark thing. No one cares about sharks! I’m not trying to crush your game or anything, but pick a better animal.
It’s a fucking shark! What is there not to-- no, you know what, stand back, this is gonna be amazing. [He is, in fact, backing up to give himself some space with the intent to actually do it, tossing his pointy wizard hat to the side in preparation.]
And there he goes again. [Lup could not possibly sound less excited if she tried.]
Check. It. Out. [Taako winks towards the camera, hands on his hips, and then extends his arms, starting to emanate a strange sort of glow. But just before their audience can catch sight of what supremely awesome magic Taako is about to throw down, the camera shifts, pulled to a close up on Lup’s skeletal face. She tilts her head, as if smiling, effectively blocking Taako’s transformation from being seen.]
Y'know, I don’t think I’ve ever looked so good.
[Behind her, a loud and rather angry roar can be heard, that still kind of sounds a little like Taako. The voice that follows is much rougher than his normal tone, because it’s hard to make animal vocal chords try and speak, okay.]
LUP WHAT THE FUCK--
[It’s accompanied by what sounds like some thrashing, and then absolutely the sound of something in their room shattering to the floor. Lup somehow manages to ignore the chaos behind her completely, throwing up a skeletal peace sign before the connection cuts.]
[ooc: Taako is blue, Lup is red, both of them are purple! Specify if you want one or the other because the default is both with a three-way thread!]
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... on the bright side, now that he's starring in his own personal horror movie, Angus can relate to the IT kids a lot more! ]
Ma'am, not that I don't appreciate the offer-slash-bribe, but I'm gonna have to live with the consequences no matter what I say!
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Lup! Bribing a child. How dare.
[He didn't hear the bribe, but Angus doesn't lie like that, so.]
Ango. I'm, like, your entire magical guru. You can't abandon me like this.
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[she can play too]
Don't listen to 'im, kid. You don't wanna get turned into a shark, do you?
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I don't want to be a shark! Their bones are made of cartilage and they have multiple sets of teeth that rotate in whenever an old tooth falls out!
[ He glances at the window again, decides he isn't confident enough with Feather Fall to jump out a second or third story window, rules out running past Taako, who would probably grab him in a headlock on the way out the door, and takes a deep breath as he decides on his course of action. ]
O-okay... My Grandpa always said that honesty was the best policy, so...
[ He pulls out his wand, and that weird, tingly buzz in the air is instantly recognizable. THAT'S RIGHT, IT'S ZONE OF TRUTH TIME. ROLL TO RESIST, MOTHERFUCKERS. ]
I think Transmutation and Evocation are both really cool for different reasons and I'm thinking of looking into Divination because that could be really useful and I didn't want to get in the middle of a fight between the two of you which is why I gave the gun that I won in the paintball match to Carey, and--!!
[ he claps both hands over his mouth a few seconds too late! Damn his habitual nervous rambling! ]
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You gave the gun to Carey? When I could have had two whole guns??? Angus!
[He just looks so betrayed. So injured. All of it is entirely fake because he's trying really hard not to fucking laugh.]
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[Welp. Unfortunately, Lup gets a fucking 2 on her resist, so...] Eh, Divination's kinda cool, I guess. Also, I completely forgot I even had a gun. [give her a break. it's been sixty years]
Did it fall out of my pocket when I left? Where the fuck did it go?
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[ He glances over at Lup and raises an eyebrow, at that. ]
... Um, Ma'am, no offense meant, but could you even hold a gun in your current state? Aren't you sort of intangible at the moment?
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[Then again, Angus and Lup talk, and he starts thinking.]
Probably in our room somewhere. Uh, I'd go running for it, but I feel like that's gonna take some work.
[He doesn't even need to be smacked down under a truth zone for that one. The twins' room is a mess and he doesn't give a shit about trying to prove otherwise.]
And look. Ango. Returning to the point at hand. It doesn't have to be a shark. Haven't you ever wanted to fly? Or like, be a fucking dinosaur? Because allow me to be real here for a moment: please consider being a fucking dinosaur.
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[Imagine. Lup's spectral form with a floating gun beside her and Taako with a gun in each hand. They'd take over Hadriel once and for all.
And okay. Lup had really wanted to win Angus' vote over to her side for this argument, but somehow the idea of turning that sweet boy into a dinosaur is kind of...amazing.] Full truth here: I was totally against this idea before, but now I'm all for it. Became a dinosaur, Angus. Do it.
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I'm more worried about literally everyone else dealing with the fact that you'd have two guns, sir. You don't even need them, you guys have magic!
[ ... and suddenly, Angus REALLY DOESN'T LIKE WHERE THIS CONVERSATION IS GOING... he folds his arms over his chest and takes a step back towards the window, silently weighing his options between escape routes. ]
... Ok, the dinosaur thing is moot because I don't know Polymorph yet, and even if I did, I'm not a high enough wizard-level for it. So. No dinosaurs.
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[Still, now Lup's siding with him, and he presses his hands palm-to-palm in front of his face, grinning like a maniac.]
Ango. Polymorph. Can be cast on other people.
[Did he just take a step forward. He's between you and the door, Angus.]
Come on. Just. Just a little tiny dinosaur time for ol' Taako.
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Dinosaur! Dinosaur! Dinosaur!
[Get out while you still can, little man.]
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1) Angus realizes that Magnus and Merle would absolutely be down for Taako turning him into a dinosaur, and will therefore be no help and possibly active hindrances if he runs downstairs, (assuming Taako doesn't catch him first),
2) Angus's eye twitches, and
3) Angus turns on his heel, bolts towards the window (going right through Lup's intangible form, he'll apologize later!), casts Feather Fall on himself, and leaps over the windowsill.
Nope nope nope nope NOOOOPE, ANGO'S GOOD OUT HERE! ]
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So the logical conclusion to this is obviously for Taako to also barrel right through Lup, open the staff, and Featherfall right. Freakin. After him.
The family that dinosaurs together stays together, I guess?]
C'mon, kid, you owe your dinosaur dues to the house! Don't fight it!
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[But like hell Taako being inconsiderate is going to keep her from watching Angus get turned into a dinosaur. Lup doesn't need to cast featherfall or try to squeeze her lanky form through the open window. She just casually floats through the side of the house and down to the ground, before joining the chase. This situation just went from an eight to an eleven instantly.]
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Angus uses every trick that he learned from his Boy Detective days, ducking around corners, scrambling over fences, and the second he's out of sight (and almost out of breath), he leans back against a wall and casts Disguise Self to go from Angus McDonald to Richie Tozier, one of the only other people in Hadriel who won't sound completely out of place with a voice that hasn't hit puberty yet. ]
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So Taako reaches out skeptically, like a cat readying to strike, and gently smacks his shoulder.
Oh. Real.
Huh.]
Hey, kid, you seen Ango around here? 'Bout this tall, glasses, dork?
[He sort of gestures with his hand in comparison to his body. It's probably wildly incorrect.]
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Probably muttering to himself about not wanting to be a dinosaur?
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Nuh-uh. I don't know anybody named Ango. And I definitely don't know any toddlers or gnomes named Ango, because they'd have to be either a very small child or a gnome to be as tall as you indicated.
[ Seriously Taako, RUDE. ]
I don't think anybody really wants to be turned into a dinosaur against their will, Ma'--!
[ His mouth snaps shut just a second too late. Damn his habitual politeness! ]
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Anyway, Angus gives this up way too easily, and he grins much, much too wide.]
Oh, Ango. You almost had us there... not!
[He grabs Angus' arm, and casts the spell. DC 18, Angus, make your save or it's velociraptor time.]
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Lup cackles, floating to hover behind Taako's shoulder while the spell is cast, waiting to see just how turns out. Give them the dino!]
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GUESS WHO'S AT POINT BLANK RANGE, AND JUST ROLLED A CRITICAL FAIL!
Angus-as-Richie yelps, and the yelp turns into a screeching velociraptor roar as the arm in Taako's grip warps and morphs into the spindly, leathery arm of...
... well, a short velociraptor with glasses. If Taako-as-Dupree gets to keep his wizard hat, Angus-as-Jurassic-Park-Extra-#12 gets his glasses!
Angus roars again and snaps at Taako's hand, because Taako is a jerk, and he will absolutely blame that on feral dinosaur instincts later. ]
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He laughs so hard he stumbles backwards, having to put a hand up on the wall and another around his waist. He's going to fucking cry. It's everything he has not to end up on the goddamn floor crying at his own joke. This is amazing. For a second he thinks he might lose the spell with how hard he's going to go the fuck down. This is everything he has ever wanted.]
This is the best day of my life, I swear. Game over. We are done.
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[Taako loses himself laughing, barely able to keep standing up, but Lup makes a quick grab for her phone, immediately snapping at least a hundred pictures of the encounter as she floats around to get Dino!Angus from every angle. Smile for the camera, babe.]
Alright, alright. In this one specific instance, I'm giving transmutation a point--Just this one!--because this is fuckin' incredible. I want to take him home and keep him forever.
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VelocirAngus lets out another screeching roar, and lunges right through Lup's spectral form in an effort to bite her phone. Then he changes course and charges forward to snap and claw at Taako, and even makes grab for his hat. He's biting and clawing at whatever he can reach, at this point! He's a dino now, this is how he expresses himself when he's upset! YOU ARE THE ENGINES OF YOUR OWN DESTRUCTION, FOOLS. ]
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