hadriel | VIDEO | Backdated to the 10th

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VIDEO | Backdated to the 10th

[ The video comes to life but there's no face on the other end, just a handwritten note along with a sloppy signature. Some may recognize the last name, others may not, but she honestly doesn't care. She has questions. She wants answers (despite the fact they likely don't have them all). And she desperately wants to find her friends.

The handwritten note is just precaution. She remembers the Null, even if her memory is fuzzy. Just as she doesn't sign it with her full name or tag it with her name. ]

Run down, please. We were underground and not cooking in the sun last I remember.

I could also use some help acquiring some sunscreen SPF... I don't know, whatever the fuck will keep me from turning into a tomato, and a pair of sunglasses.

DA SILVA

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( Okay, that's something. )

"Everything's jumbled up" issues? ( She had that problem when she returned. Where everything that was locked up about Hadriel came flooding back alongside three years of her life back home.

Or something else? )

Horribly. [ She presses her fingers to her temples, rubbing in clockwise circles. It all kind of hurts, as if someone poured a cleaning solution all over her brain to uncover its secrets. ]

I'm not just... There are so many fucking memories and they're all piled together because I've lived too many fucking lives. [ How many times has she been 7? and 8? 18? ] It's like someone took a film reel and cut it up.

( The word yikes is applicable here, Kate thinks. The three years back home, the return, all of that was enough to make her lose track of things she once knew. Several lives, however that works, sounds...

Well. "Like someone took a film reel and cut it up." That's what Kate imagines it would be like. ) Want me to give you the rundown?

( She's not sure what, if anything, they could do for Sharon's memory problems, but she can at least try and give her the facts of everything that happened since Delight's betrayal. )

I'd appreciate it. I hate how... much I've missed. [ And who. Fuck. Just fill her in, Kate. ]

( Not a problem, though Kate needs an intake of breath before she starts. )

Delight - ( her voice is painfully neutral there, jaw tight with the effort to hold back emotion ) - let the Null into the city. Fought 'em off for an age. Hope were badly injured. Sorrow killed. ( This is kind of the recap part, but still. ) Fear ended up havin' to move us around and the only place he could find that were uncompromised were this. ( Although she is, admittedly, fuzzier on that part. She was a mess of exhaustion after the Null were done with. )

S'posed to be their original home.

( That comment aside - ) Hope and Fear're weak and Sorrow's out. Delight got imprisoned. Just been trying to rebuild since we got here.

[ Sharon is silent a good long moment. Sorrow died. Right. She vaguely remembers that. It had all been such a mess. She can remember being by Mello's side, fighting alongside Cecily, and then it's... It's like that movie, Groundhog Day. Again, she woke up here.

Albeit, a brighter version of here. She swallows a lump she didn't realize had formed in her throat. ]

M'sorry I wasn't here.

Can't control when The Door drags you out.

( Kate shrugs. It isn't Sharon's fault, just like leaving after the party wasn't Kate's decision or fault either. The only thing worth blaming is The Door and how it works. How unpredictable and unfair it is. )

I know that. [ It just feels like... she failed something important. She never had friends and then when she finally got some, she failed them by being pulled away.

She thought she was stronger than that, that she could tell the Door to fuck itself, just like she does so often with the gods, but the world doesn't work that way. No matter how hard she may wish. ]

I know that, I just... I didn't want to leave you guys. Not again. [ No, she isn't tearing up. She just blinks this much usually, god. ]

( Strangely, that makes Kate snort, a sound somewhere between amusement and exasperation. It's- )

Stupid, innit? Can't get out of here without losin' everything we've found.

( And she wants to go home, still. Back to the familiar and convenient, to the kind of things she should be doing as a job. Back to her power being meaningful and her decade long friends who are more like family. But all this time in Hadriel has built so much for her - new friends, a clinic which has managed to hold itself together in a way that Kate could never quite expect, and the kind of romantic butterflies she had thought were never meant for her. Those are all things she doesn't want to lose either. )

The fucking stupidest. [ Her voice is thick with emotion. She left and she lost a lot during that time. She looks away from Kate, shaking her head. It really is the stupidest thing.

She wants to go back home if only in part to forget everything she gained and lost within her time in Hadriel, but she doesn't want to miss the chance to be with her friends, however long they have together. Going back home will return her to a lonely existence. ]

I don't want to be here but I don't want to... I don't want to be anywhere else without you guys. I don't want to go back to being friendless and alone. I don't want to not remember Mello and you and... I just.

This all... This all fucking hurts too much. [ She's feels as if she's drowning in tidal waves of emotion, remembering precious moments in a cave, and horrifying ones. Of lost friends. Of lost love. And it all just... hurts. ]

Tell me there's still booze here.

'Bout the one thing that kept going. ( Let's be honest here, Sharon, if the Speakeasy died, you'd know. Remember when Shadow blew up the bar?

Kate glances down a piece of paper with names and rough schedules before shrugging. )

C'mon. S'pose I can leave early.

( It's not like she's doing much of anything that nobody else can doright now. )

[ There's some visible relief to see that the speakeasy was still up and even more when Kate says she'll leave the clinic early. Sharon would never admit it but she could use the older woman, even if they just end up drinking in silence, mourning quietly what could have been. ]

I... [ She would turn her down but it's just not in her. ] L-Lead the way. I'm still... [ Adjusting? Uncertain? Lost? Sharon's not sure and the words fall silently. ]

( A mess?

Kate says nothing though, just nods and walks a far too familiar path to the Speakeasy. )

Beer?

( Or something else? )

[ A mess sounds about right. As Kate leads the way, certain things click. It's like walking her childhood home; everything comes back in a rush. She has a mural somewhere nearby, she knows that much.

The question gives Sharon pause and she shakes her head. You can't get drunk fast enough with beer, not without drinking so much your stomach got full. ]

Whiskey. [ She replies. She wants to go hard so she can pass out just as hard and maybe wake up to... everything having settled. ]

( That also works. A moment later, Kate's there with two glasses in hand. )

Here. ( The glass is held out for a wordless toast. Kate hardly needs to get hammered, but she's not about to say no to the promise of booze or tell Sharon she can't. Sometimes it's the only thing that works.

Most of the time it's the only thing that works. )

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VIDEO | Backdated to the 10th

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