audio.

[ex_break829]

Man. Man. You guys are just, ahahah, just a riot. The guy tied to his bed, the guy trapped in his room, that one weird couple having a blow-out — like, hello, you know we can all see that, right? [ he gives a sigh-chuckle. ] Ahh, bandits.

Aaaanyway, just wanted to check in with everyone, say hi, introduce myself. It's Handsome Jack — yes, the Handsome is legally part of my name, yes, you can just call me Jack, though I will also respond to "sir" and occasionally, "daddy". Some of you have already met me: I'd do shout outs but I've mostlyyy, uh, forgotten all your names? Sorry, kids. Thanks for helping me kill those ugly titty monsters. There's always a job for you at Hyperion.

One last thing, promise I'll make it quick. Space travel. If you know shit about building something that can leave atmo, see me after class. If you know anything about what galaxy and sector we're in, raise your hand. If you're riding out in the desert on one'a these divine spirit quests and you think "boy, that old hunk of scrap looks like it could be useful in constructing a rocket!"? Gimme a call. There could be something in it for you.

Okay kids, that's all for now. Remember to check bloodflow to your partner's bound hands every hour so they don't lose 'em. Jack out.

Comments

[tongueamok]

How we choose to express intimacy between one another is none of your business, either!

[ex_break829]

Ohhhhh my god, throw me a friggin bone here, there is nothing else interesting happening.

[tongueamok]

... I don't see what bones have to do with any of this.

[Forgive him, he's not up-to-date on most slang.]

Are the machinations of false deities not interesting enough for you? Perhaps you should throw yourself at their feet and beg to be manipulated if it would soothe your apparent boredom.

[ex_break829]

Maybe I'm just better at keepin' it all on the inside than you goddamn schmucks.

[ He's already maximum yandere. ]

What I'm looking for is entertainment. You can't just get me invested in you and— and the other guy, what'shisname, and then just not tell me if there's a happy ending.

[tongueamok]

If you are looking for entertainment, perhaps you should take up a proper hobby.

[ex_break829]

Yeah? Got any suggestions?

[tongueamok]

Reading. Artistry. Taxidermy. Literally anything but what you're doing here.

[ex_break829]

I read.

[ Like he's offended. ]

But nah. Thanks for the suggestions, cupcake. I'm gonna stick to people-watching.

[tongueamok]

It's Carlisle.

[As if Jack pronounced it wrong. Which he obviously did. Obviously.]

[ex_break829]

What is?

[tongueamok]

My name. Carlisle. Not 'cupcake.'

[ex_break829]

Ohhhhhh.

[ He gets it now. ]

Listen — you listening? Cool: I don't care.

[ Sorry, Carlisle. ]