audio.

[ex_break829]

Man. Man. You guys are just, ahahah, just a riot. The guy tied to his bed, the guy trapped in his room, that one weird couple having a blow-out — like, hello, you know we can all see that, right? [ he gives a sigh-chuckle. ] Ahh, bandits.

Aaaanyway, just wanted to check in with everyone, say hi, introduce myself. It's Handsome Jack — yes, the Handsome is legally part of my name, yes, you can just call me Jack, though I will also respond to "sir" and occasionally, "daddy". Some of you have already met me: I'd do shout outs but I've mostlyyy, uh, forgotten all your names? Sorry, kids. Thanks for helping me kill those ugly titty monsters. There's always a job for you at Hyperion.

One last thing, promise I'll make it quick. Space travel. If you know shit about building something that can leave atmo, see me after class. If you know anything about what galaxy and sector we're in, raise your hand. If you're riding out in the desert on one'a these divine spirit quests and you think "boy, that old hunk of scrap looks like it could be useful in constructing a rocket!"? Gimme a call. There could be something in it for you.

Okay kids, that's all for now. Remember to check bloodflow to your partner's bound hands every hour so they don't lose 'em. Jack out.

Comments

[ex_break829]

Hey, do I look like an expert in whatever weird shit happens here?

[ You know he's not, Law. ]

I'm just enjoying watching it play out.

[hot_mes]

No, but I figured you at least capable of a concise summary.

[so sue him, he gets along better with fellow assholes]

Love was the one who sent us out of the city, so I wonder which one of the gods is up to this level of bullshit this time, that's all.

[ex_break829]

Weird, 'cause it feels like a Love thing. What else do you call it when just thinking about 'em makes you wanna burn the whole world, ohh just goddamn murder everybody so no-one else can even touch 'em?

[ He clears his throat, stepping away from the lure of just diving off the deep end. ]

Yeah, it's uh. Whatever god is in charge of those feelings, that's all I'm saying.

[hot_mes]

[wow, dude]

I wouldn't know, I've never felt like that.

[there are much better reasons to burn the world!]

But you've got a point. It sounds like it's related to Love. Though, murder is usually Rage's wheelhouse.

[ex_break829]

[ He basically feels like that all the time. ]

Sure, yeah, Rage. She's the lady with the guns, right?

[hot_mes]

[oh Jack.]

Yeah. That'd be the one. I don't know much about her, or any of them that don't use the phone regularly.

[ex_break829]

Me neither, but you know, I would just love to find out. Don't s'pose you know where I could find her.

[hot_mes]

[I BET YOU WOULD I mean]

I have no idea where they hang out when they're not in corporeal form. They don't even stay inside their own temples, but that would be the first place to start.

[ex_break829]

Temples. Right, because of the whole, god, thing. Yeah.

[ Still not totally comprehending that. ]

[hot_mes]

Yeah. [dryly, because he's right there with ya. Alien beings with inexplicable powers are not gods to him either]

Good luck getting her attention. Any of them, really. After the one betrayed and sold us out to the enemy, I can't imagine the rest really want to have a chat.

[ex_break829]

Man, it all sounds like so much drama. I mean, okay, if I was a god I probably wouldn't let any ol' nobody just talk to me either, that's what secretaries are for, but I also wouldn't let all my worshippers know how much petty beef I got with the other execs.

[hot_mes]

Way more drama than I would have expected. But when emotions are involved, I suppose drama is inevitable.

[have fun with that, Jack]