[video] this may come as a surprise but I am not a mechanical engineer

[nonscriptum]

[There's a lot of crap going on right now, sure, and whatever the more overtly-powered people have done to subdue the recent catastrophe has helped, but that doesn't mean he can continue to put certain things on his to-do list on the perpetual backburner.

Continuing his mapping and documentation process, for one. Reach out to the populace with a completely innocent, well-meaning inquiry, for another.

Also avoid dying, but that's just a general to-do these days.]

This might be a weird question, but does anyone here know how to craft...small items? Like a smith, or a carpenter, or some combination thereof?

Asking for a- [There is an awkward beat as he tries to determine whether the statement is accurate.] -friend.

Comments

[nonscriptum]

Do I, though?

[Don't call Nate out on his masochism like this.

To be fair, he didn't think Taako would immediately assume the most inappropriate avenue, but that's on Nate. He should know better.]

So what have you and Lup been up to since you guys tried to con Sam and me out of a Vespa?

[pocketspa]

[UHHH HE’S GONNA FIGHT HIM RN]

Uhh, it was a really good con. You totally bought it.

[Not even trying to deny they, uh, fuckin’ did that.]

But uhh, y’know, same ol’ same ol’. Zipped outta the city twice. Blew some shit up. ‘Ss been good.

[Completely failing to mention all the actually terrible, terrible shit that’s happened in that time between rage and fear’s events. Shhhh. We don’t talk about that.]

[nonscriptum]

[He does love it. Shut up.]

Eh, the performance was lacking. I've seen better fake crying.

[Nate grins, giving shit for the sake of giving shit. He can tell that Taako is glossing over a lot, because he does the same thing himself when he's trying to avoid talking about difficult subjects.]

...everything okay?

[pocketspa]

Hey, totally had you. Besides, we were makin' it up on the fly.

[But that next part... gives him pause. He's pretty good at his poker face, but he does give Nate a little bit of a look, like he's just grown a second head or something.]

... Uhhh, what's with all that, my man? Why do you care? Same ol' day in the desert, whatever.

[Everything is pretty not okay. He's been dealing with it, but he's still a little shaken from the fear event the week previous, and Barry still isn't back in the house. It's been rough. But Taako's not the kind of guy who talks about his feelings, especially to people like Nate. People who kind of know him. That's much, much too intimate.]

[nonscriptum]

Yeah, that was apparent.

[Wailing elf children might work on the less cynical, but Nate had spent too much time pulling the same trick on adults when he was a kid. You start crying and people get a lot less attentive with their wallets.

What startles him a little - a lot - is the way that Taako almost immediately dips away from the subject, suspicion and aversion curled around the edges of his words. Okay, so...too personal, too close, too soon.

He respects it, he's been there.]

Just asking. [Hands up, he allows for an escape.] Making sure you're not having a heat stroke.

[pocketspa]

[Hey, woulda worked if Nate wasn't so well-versed in the same con. This is why you just outright steal from people like that. And to Nate's credit- it's something entirely that he didn't just shut the feed off right that moment. Nate is... he's sort of in a weird position. Taako teases him a lot, but he's exciting. He actually kind of likes him as a person, which is utterly strange and not something he's even remotely willing to admit to. Just don't get him so point blank next time. Eventually, Nate will unlock One Whole Real Feeling and it'll cement the fact that they're actually friends and Taako will never, ever say those words exact words out loud.]

Pssh, please my guy, I know how to handle something hot. Deal with myself all the time, obvs.

[He flicks a bit of hair with a curve of his wrist, easy, effortless.]

Nothin' in this city I can't handle, no prob.

[nonscriptum]

Uh-huh.

[The day that Nate unlocks one whole real feeling from Taako is the day Taako has to suffer a bear hug, so, you know. Prepare yourself, asshole.

For the time being, though, he remains only slightly unconvinced. Taako bullshits the same way that Nate himself bullshits, with an easy nonchalance and a self-surety that would put the most arrogant of individuals to shame. It's reliably reassuring how alike they are, in that regard.

He should probably change the subject.]

...I met your boyfriend, by the way. A little while ago. Don't know if I told you.

[pocketspa]

[Nate please, he has Magnus for that, don't you get goopy on him too. But Nate gives him an out, not spending his time comparing them in his head, and he just takes it.]

You'd never met Krav? Huh. Yeah, he's cool. Did I tell you his name or did he lead on that? Not that I blame him, I've got way more klout than he does around here.

[nonscriptum]

Met him before, sure.

[Once. The guy was both handsome and socially awkward. Nate likes to think they subconsciously bonded over that.]

But not his whole- [Nate gestures to his own face.] -"mysterious ghost haunting Don Giovanni" look.

[pocketspa]

[See, Taako attracts handsome men with weird secrets. Kravitz' is just not a secret but still like, very weird by most people standards.]

Oooooh, you saw the skeleton gambit. Cool, right? He got freaked out on our first date and just went full skel in like no time. Did he do the robe thing? Tell me he did the robe thing like a fuckin' nerd.

[nonscriptum]

...if by "robe" thing you mean "dramatically flourished with it" like a musketeer or something, then yeah.

[It was, without a doubt, one of the most Extra things Nate has ever seen. And he's met Taako!]

[pocketspa]

Oh yeah, absolutely. Just holds out his hands and lets it drape. He's so full of it right?

[Taako's grin should make it apparent how Into It he is.]

Fuckin' dork. Man, then he gave you the whole show. Count yourself lucky, you basically know everything now.

[nonscriptum]

[Absolute drama queen assholes. He really should have expected this from a boyfriend of Taako's.]

Somehow I doubt that.

[There's the small matter of wanting to better comprehend what the Hell Kravitz is, but...he can just ask.]

What is he?

[pocketspa]

[And Taako can just answer. Sadly, the answer is ridiculous and he has never explained something well in his life.]

Uhh, he's kinda, like, super dead? Sort of a skeleton but not a skeleton. It's like, uhhh...

[Hmmmmhmhmhmhmh how does he do this.]

So, when you die, you become a soul, which is basically just like, a little translucent version of you or a little ball of light or whatever. But he works for uh, Death Herself I guess, so he gets to do cool stuff like be a skeleton or look like a dude. I guess probably what he looked like before he died? I dunno.

[Should he ask that? Is it rude? Maybe not, huh.]

When I met him he was, uh, possessing a bunch of rocks and he tried to kill me. Real meet-cute. He hunts down undead peeps and drags their souls back to hell. Soooo.

[nonscriptum]

[There's a lot to unpack here, and a considerable number of strange implications regarding death and the afterlife and pretty much everything affiliated with that, but Nate tries not to get stuck on the theological ramifications of this poorly-worded explanation.]

So...he's like the grim reaper? Like a death god? Not the death god, but- you know, like debt collectors. But for souls.

[You've been served, they say as they fumble through the bureaucracy of ending someone's life. He wants to make a necrophilia joke. He wants to indulge the need to ask if scythe length has anything to do with prowess in the bedroom. But all Nate can manage is a sage, deadpan:]

Gives a whole new meaning to getting a boner, huh.

[pocketspa]

I mean not like a god, he just works for one. But he is kinda undead. Just kinda.

[But everything else is kind of thrown to the wayside as he barks out a laugh at the joke, trying not to completely lose it.]

Oh, buddy, you have no idea. Great lay whether he has a dick or not, though. Really knows how to use those hands.

[Did Taako just admit to fucking a skeleton??? Probably???? He sure doesn't seem embarrassed by that!]

[nonscriptum]

[The complex mental gymnastics that Nate suddenly has to undergo to comprehend the information that Taako unwittingly foisted upon him sends him into immediate shock, processing too slowly and yet not slow enough to really grasp the truth of the statement.

Fairly certain that Taako just confirmed necrophilia, Nate opens his mouth, closes it again, and takes a deep breath.]

Hm.

[Bad.]

That's a visual I didn't need.

[pocketspa]

[This is about the point he descends into wheezing laughter, because oh my god he can't handle it anymore. Nate's face is perfect. He'd hug him for how long he kept this joke going if they were actually next to each other.]

Too bad! You have it! Blessed with forbidden arcane skeletonfucking knowledge. You're welcome.

[Gods, Nate could hang up on him now and it will have been worth it.]

[nonscriptum]

Yep, I think that's enough of- everything. Okay.

[Bad.

Sure enough, Nate hangs up the phone.]